Dear Winifred; Feb. 19

Advice (NOT good!) column

     Warning; advice given is NOT politically correct!

 

     "Dear Winifred, I'm going to move after living in the same house for years, and I was wondering if you would suggest renting a moving van or doing it with my friends' pick up.  Money is extremely tight right now, due to having to pay for orthodontics for our youngest, who's at that awkward stage of moving up from elementary school to junior high school.  Anxiously awaiting your verdict.  Signed Moving on Up."

 

     "Dear Moving on Up, from the sound of your letter, you're none too bright, so can I assume your beer keg coffee table and your two bean bag chairs will be safe and undamaged by loading them in your friend's pick up?  And who really gives a s**t if they are practically destroyed when the slide all over hell?  If this is the case, then by all means, do it yourself.  If, however, you value your possessions at all, I'd find a way to pay for a professional mover; let them lug all the heavy s**t.  And I think you could have saved the money you wasted on your kid; nothing can be done to stop the school years from sucking a*s!  Winifred."

 

 

Reviews

[Raymond Federle]

Well done as always my friend...u a funny guy. XD

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you kind sir!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Exactly ,Why waste all that money on your kids ,its preposterous.Right Michael :)

[Michael Stevens]

Winifred would say "Kids, Smids; buy a nice big screen T.V. for yourself!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Well you know now that you mention it .That doesn't sound like a half bad idea lol

[Michael Stevens]

See, and here you though of Winifred as spouting useless, mean-a*s garbage!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes I was wrong ,she is so wise truly .Oh lord no I can't lie she really is horrible lol

[Marie]

I've read enough of Winifred's back story to see what helped make her this way...

[Michael Stevens]

Vidya, I think you can guess what Winifred's reply to your last comment, can't you? Something like, "Hey, why don't you go tell somebody who gives 3 s**t's what you think!"

[Michael Stevens]

Marie, you know what Winifred's response would be, don't you? "Tough s**t!"

[Vidya Bacchus]

Yes , yes I did see that coming :)

[Michael Stevens]

Of course, I tried to tell Winifred that would be a rude thing to say, but if you figured out ahead of time what her response would be, I think you can guess what it was for me!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Poor Michael .I am sorry for whatever atrocity Winifred hurled at you :)

[Michael Stevens]

Thank you; I'd not heard this particular one; I didn't know you could bend far enough to make that particular thing possible!

[Vidya Bacchus]

Hahahaha.Did you do it ?I had to ask lol

[Michael Stevens]

Yes I did, but got arrested for my trouble!

[Vidya Bacchus]

You just can't catch a break can you :)