Project Backwards; Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Eighteen:

    

     Steve once again swam up to consciousness and blinked in the blinding light. Now when and where was he? He heard a man’s voice speaking from the other room. He wasn’t sure when or where he was; but hoped going through the door would give him a clue. By now, he was all too familiar with how the time warp game was played, so it shouldn’t have caught him completely by surprise when he opened the door, and came face-to-face with none other than Benjamin Franklin, in his opinion one of the greatest Americans, and a personal favorite of his. The sheer volume of things the great man before him had done was staggering; political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, musician, inventor, satirist, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat. As an inventor alone, he would have made his mark. The Franklin Stove, bifocals, the lightning rod, a carriage odometer, and glass ‘armonica’ were among his many inventions. He founded many civic organizations, such as the fire department. Steve recalled that in his day, a major insurance carrier was named for him. Politically, he served as the first U.S. ambassador to France. He looked up from his reading, and said,

     “Ah, Steven my good man; I was just rereading some old Poor Richard's Almanacs. Please, come in and share tea. Tea’s one of the things we have the British to thank for!”

     “Sure, Benjamin.”

     “Please, call me Ben.”

     “Sure, Ben.”

     Steve knew that Franklin had been an outspoken critic of all things English but at this obviously-youthful age, he hadn’t yet developed his strong dislike of the British system of government.

     “How do you take your tea?”

     “Oh, with one or two scoops of sugar, please.”

     “Good, when we’re done, I thought I’d go fly a kite; perhaps you’d care to join me?”

     “Excuse me?” Steve asked, even though he expected he knew why.

     “Yes, I fly kites to relax! No, I have this theory that lightning is electricity, and I think I can prove it by flying a kite up into a storm, and when the kite is struck by lightning, the current will travel down the string of the kite, and electrify the key.”

     “Ah, the famous electrical experiment,” Steve blurted without thinking, glancing out the window at the gathering storm clouds.

     “Well, I wouldn’t call it famous; no one knows about it yet.”

     “Slip of the tongue; I meant to say ‘sounds fascinating!’”

     A little while later, the wind was raging, and the rain fell in sheets.

     “Ah, perfect!” Franklin exclaimed. “Here, do you want a pair of the indestructible metal clogs I’ve invented?”

     “Metal clogs?”

     “Yes, I’m so tired of my shoes falling apart, so I’ve invented metal clogs, that last forever. Think of it, no more having to buy new shoes every couple of years.”

     “Ben, shouldn’t you wear something that will ground you?”

     “Ground? I’m not going to climb a ladder!”

     "No, ground you so you don’t conduct electricity.”

     “Oh, good thinking!”

     Steve would hate to see Benjamin Franklin accidently invent the arc welder, with his face!

     So, after changing shoes, Franklin led Steve outside, and soon had a kite flying up towards a dark, angry-looking storm cloud. After several minutes, the kite was struck by a searing bolt of lightning. the wetted kite string carried the electrical charge down the string, until it reached a key that Franklin had attached to it, and there was a bright flash, and a shower of spark from the metal key.

     “Ah ha; I knew I was right!”

     Once safely back indoors, Franklin turned to Steve, and said, “This calls for a celebration; will you join me in a flaming rum punch?"

     The old joke Why, am I coming apart? came to Steve’s mind, but he answered, “Sure.”

     “Good, I’ll just jump out to the kitchen and make us a couple of tankards.”

     At that moment, came a knock on the front door. Franklin excused himself and went to answer it. He looked out the window on his way to the door, and exclaimed, “It’s a squad of British Soldiers,” and opened the door. “What can I do for you gentlemen?”

     The haughty-looking British commander answered, “My men need firewood, and I saw you have some stacked outside. In the name of the King, we’re requisitioning it.”

     “You can’t do that; that’s my winter heating!”

      “Tough nuggies! We’re the army of the king, and you’re just a lowly American colonist.”

     Tough nuggies? thought Steve.

     A couple hours later, an angry Ben Franklin and Steve sat at Franklin’s table, swilling rum, and Franklin was going off. 

     “B******s, high and mighty b******s! Who in the hell do they think they are?” and he said to Steve, “You look like a man who could use a refill. Hand me your tankard, and I’ll hop out to the kitchen and get us a couple of new ones.”

     Steve handed Franklin his tankard, and watched as Franklin made his way out to the kitchen. Well, as much as he’d love to stay here with Ben Franklin, now would be a good time to bail. He took a last look around at the pre-Revolutionary decorations, and shouted, “Get me out of here!”, and after a few seconds, everything faded out.

Reviews

[char]

"Tough nuggies"...oh my God. That made me laugh! "Tough nuggies", say it aloud and it's even more hilarious! Thanks for that, Mike! xD

The key and lightning. Ben Franklin was indeed a crazy, good American.

[Michael Stevens]

Sure thing, Anna; I'm glad you got a chuckle out of it!