"The Plastic Shark Cage"--fake ad

Fun for the common man!

“The Plastic Shark Cage”

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“Now, there’s an almost-safe, inexpensive way to view the great white, and all sharks, in their natural habitat!  Introducing The Plastic Shark Cage, from the same company who brought you Back in Action Artificial Limbs, The Hacksaw Corporation.  Before, you had to rent a shark cage, or weld your own, if you wanted to view a shark in relative safety, and, let’s be honest, who hasn’t?  Now, with the introduction of The Plastic Shark Cage, anyone can afford it.  We manufacture our cage using a space-age polymer, better known to you as plastic.  At only $23.95, this is the shark cage that will enable the common man to view these predators of the deep easily.  So inexpensive, even the cheapest b*****d can afford one.  And now, through this exclusive T.V. offer, we’ll include a Maimed or Killed Insurance Policy, absolutely free!  But we’re so sure our cage will probably hold up, you’ll more-than-likely never have to use it.  How sure?  In the unlikely event of cage failure, if you or your loved one loses a limb, we’ll pick up the tab for reattachment, or skin graphs to cover the unsightly stump.  If you’ve always wanted to view nature’s killing machines, up close and personal, what better time than now?  Our revolutionary Anti-Attack plastic is practically unbreakable, so the risk to you or your family is almost non-existent; and, with our inclusion, free, of an insurance policy, what do you have to lose?  Probably not a limb, so call now!  Operators are standing by; just dial 1-800-Cage to order.”