The Winged Freak Action Figure!

A fun toy for kids with low IQ!

The Winged Freak

Action Figure

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“Now available from most discount toy stores, it’s The Winged Freak Action Figure.  The most popular movie series, ever, is now a proud member of The Super-Heroes Action Squad, joining Hinge Man, Rack Woman, and Half Man, Half Woman Boy, to make up the four-person Super-Heroes Action Squad. All four are taken from the four movies of the same name, which are, coincidentally, all from the same movie company, The Heave Corporation.  Our Winged Freak Action Figure looks...looks...well, suffice it to say it looks like a reject piece of plastic that’s been through a fire (trust us; that’s not how these toys are made!), but because it looks butt-ugly and is virtually unrecognizable as a super-hero, criminals (criminals sold separately; collect all 52) all know he or she kicks a*s (a*s sold separately).  He or she cruises the streets (streets sold separately) of Iron Bar City (Iron Bar City sold separately) looking for any trouble (trouble sold separately).  When he or she find some trouble, he or she just has to let them get a good look at him or herself, and criminals s**t (s**t sold separately) their pants (pants sold separately) and run (legs sold separately) to the nearest policeman (policemen sold separately) to admit their crime (crime sold separately) and turn themselves in, all to avoid having to look at The Winged Freak, and try to guess what he or she might be.  Then, once the criminal have turned themselves in, The Winged Freak runs to a nearby dumpster (dumpster sold separately), where he or she turns back into D. Whale, (D. Whale sold separately) a mild-mannered glass-(glass sold separately) blower (blower sold separately).  So purchase The Winged Freak Action Figure and start fighting crime, today!”