Dr. GoitersteinA Story by Michael Stevens A mad scientist and his foul-mouthed monster creation!
Dr. Goiterstein By Mike
Stevens The electricity arced to the bolts Dr. Goiterstein had placed in the neck of the human-like being he was attempting to jolt into life. So far, the sheet covering Der, which was the name he had given to his artificial being, had not moved, meaning Der was not yet alive. What was he doing wrong? He knew this was going to work. He re-checked the connections of the jumper cables going from his spare car battery to the neck-bolts of Der. A shower of sparks shot from the neck-bolts of Der into his creation’s face, and suddenly the sheet covering Der’s body twitched, he sat up and started to speak; “Hey, me
on fire. Watch it!” It had
worked. “It’s alive! It’s alive!” screamed Dr. Goiterstein. Then he told his creation, “Your name
is Der.” Der then
spoke again, “Der name and Der say, “You bet your a** Der alive!”
Dr. Gouterstein was trying to teach Der what it meant to be alive. “You need to think how your actions will
affect others.” Der looked perplexed and said, “Der not give a crap about anybody else. Der say screw ‘em!” Dr. Goiterstein laughed and replied, “Well, the part of your brain that controls swear words is functioning beautifully.” Der again
looked perplexed and asked, “What Dr. mean?” “I mean
your language is… is… colorful!” “Der say,
“What you talk about? What color? Der see no color.” “It’s just
a figure of speech, Der. It’s just that
you swear like a sailor.” “Der know
no sailors.” “Forget
it, Der.
Der had wandered away from Dr. Goiterstein’s laboratory and found himself by a small lake, surrounded by wildflowers. He
found himself drawn to the pretty colors.
Suddenly a small girl approached him as he smelled the flower’s
fragrance. “Hello,”
the girl said, “what’s ya doing?” Der held out some flowers in his hand, “Der
pick beauty.” The girl
let out a small laugh and replied, “Those are flowers.” Der then said, “You funning Der? Der may not know stuff, but Der know when he being funned!” and he reached for his tormentor. The little girl ran away, screaming for he
mother. “Der not
like your funning crap; Der one pissed mofo!” he yelled after her.
Der kept walking until he came to a cabin. ‘You funnen?’ Der thought to himself. ‘Way out here where nothing?’ He heard strange sounds coming from the cabin. He strode up to the door, which had been left open due to the hot weather. He walked through it, trying to make sense of the strange sounds he was hearing, and saw an old man playing something. He just stood there until the man sensed his presence and said, “Is
someone there?” Der mumbled and the man said, “There is someone there! Hello stranger. Come in and set awhile. As you have probably already noticed, I’m
blind.” Der
blurted, “What blind mean?” The man
replied, “Blind? Are you kidding
me? It means I can’t see.” Der raised his voice and practically shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth, “Der sorry; that the s****!” “I couldn’t agree with you more; and there’s nothing wrong with my hearing, I can hear just fine.” “Excuse
Der. Now you piss Der off. Der say he’s sorry for yelling. Excuse crap out of Der!” The man responded, “I don’t think I like you. I tried to be nice, but all I get in return is a load of grief.” Der looked angrily at the man and replied, “Der sorry you no like him; can you see what Der do now? “I’m blind, so no, I can’t see,” answered the
man. Der
responded with, “Der flip you off; eat it, you blind b*****d!” Der
thought to himself, Der not know
what flip off mean; how Der know to
do that?
At last, Der was feeling run-down and thought it would be a good time to be getting back to the lab. He remembered the doctor’s words about thinking of others feelings. Dr. Goiterstein was probably getting worried. Then as he was walking through some woods, he saw fire. Someone was coming through the
woods with a torch. “There he is, this way!” a voice cried out. Suddenly, several more men with torches appeared. He found himself afraid and clumsily took off running away from the glowing flames, until he came upon a wooden tower. The sign out front said, “Forest Fire Watch Tower”, but of course Der couldn’t read so the words meant nothing to him. The flames were getting closer, so he started climbing until reaching the top of the tower. The men carrying the torches suddenly burst into a clearing at the base
of the tower, and one yelled, “There he
is!” Der panicked and climbed out onto a small ledge which protruded from the watchtower’s deck. “Hey, Jed; we thought you were dead. We’ve been looking all over for you!” one of the men said.
Der was confused. Apparently they thought he was someone else. Then, into his limited brain, came a thought. If this Jed had been recently buried, might not he have Jed’s head? Der then thought he understood. They must have been looking for their friend and mistakenly thought he was this Jed. But didn’t they see there was a 7-ft. tall flesh monster with bolts in his neck, green-colored, and squid-ugly up, on the tower? Great! Suddenly, as Der was looking down, he grew dizzy and his vision blurred. He should get away from the edge; it was a long way down. Der started back and his last step before reaching the safety of the porch drew
nothing but air and he suddenly plummeted head first to his death.
Dr. Goiterstein thought about all that work down the drain, for the stupid man-made moron had fallen to his
death. It was time to start over.
The End
© 2012 Michael StevensReviews
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5 Reviews  Last Updated on August 2, 2012 Tags: Dr.; mad scientist; monster Author
Michael StevensAboutI write for fun; I write comedy pieces and some dramatic stuff. I have no formal writing education, and I have a fear of being told I suck, and maybe I should give up on writing, and get a job makin.. more..Writing
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