Hot Coffee

I need you to care about me

I don’t need you to drop everything for me

Or make a single sacrifice

I just need you to notice when I’m sad

And when you notice the smeared makeup,

I need you to ask what’s wrong

Now here’s the tricky part

I’ll always answer, nothing

And you have two options

You can pretend to believe me and continue talking about yourself

And how hard your classes are

And how angry you are because your coffee was too hot this morning

Or

You can pull me aside, hold my hand, and genuinely ask me what’s wrong

And force me to tell you

Because there’s no way in hell I’ll say anything unless you can prove that you care

And no matter what you say

Chances are, I won’t be convinced

And I’ll still feel alone

But it’ll bring me one step closer to believing that I matter

And I might live through another night

Because of the vague possibility of your concern

And if I call you at three am,

It’s likely that I made a deal with the devil

If I call

And no one answers

I’ll kill myself tonight

But you won’t answer

So I’ll bang my head on the wall

And scratch my arms

And cry

And cry

And wonder how people can be so happy

And why I can never be that happy

I wish I could complain about difficult classes or hot coffee

But my pain runs so much deeper than that

Nobody dies because of hot coffee

I want to die

Because the world is just better if I’m not in it

It’s not selfish at all,

Quite the opposite

Nobody wants to hear what I have to say

And I can’t go through this alone

So rather than burden the world with my fucked up unstable mind

I can just disappear

And sardonically laugh at how many people are better off

And how many people don’t cry at my funeral

 

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"I’ll kill myself tonight

But you won’t answer

So I’ll bang my head on the wall

And scratch my arms

And cry

And cry

And wonder how people can be so happy

And why I can never be that happy"

Thank you for sharing this wonderful write...:)

[Molly Garnet]

Ah thank you again for the review :)

[Sami Khalil]

ou are welcome...:)..........

[Coyote Poetry]

"I wish I could complain about difficult classes or hot coffee
But my pain runs so much deeper than that
Nobody dies because of hot coffee"
Hot coffee is the good and easy part of life. All of us need to feel needed and wanted. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote