Prologue

It’s been three years. I know that a significant amount of time has passed since the summer that we spent together, and I know that some things cannot be changed no matter how much you wish they could. But every time I drive past the fence, I look out for the gap that we would crawl through and I remember it all. You broke me and my heart into a million pieces over and over again, and I let you, despite knowing that the whole affair was damned from the start. I suppose, what I am really trying to say is that although all of our stories of that summer are different, I wish I could collectively rewrite the ending.

I am happy now, I honestly am the happiest I have ever been. But the shadows of that time are always going to follow me, no matter how fast I run to escape them. The story of that summer was beautiful and tragic and wonderful and sad, and must be recorded for all of those reasons. Although you may not agree with some of it, I think it’s safe to say that I am telling one of many versions of the truth. I do not know everything, but nor do any of you. I have spent an awful lot of time recently attempting to run away from you and from all that I did, although I was not in the mind state to help myself �" let alone anyone else �" back then, I should have tried harder. I drowned my sorrows with copious amounts of vodka and you tried to help, but I didn’t let you. It was petty of me to attempt to blame all of my shortcomings on you and what you did, I should have admitted the real problems then, but I didn’t. This is our story, and it belongs to us. Kyle, Dana, Megan and me. We are really the only few who were there for the majority of it, the only few who matter. We were the important ones. We loved and hated each other as friends do; we spent more time together then than anyone should ever spend with the same group of people. Our lives were so tightly entwined with each other’s that we could not distance ourselves enough to see the damage we were causing. We lied and we cheated and we cried and we laughed, but it was all okay, because now we have finished with each other. Or rather, I have finished with you. That is why I feel it is perfectly acceptable of me to tell our story. You made me bleed and cry and want to die, and I am sure I did the same to you.

This is not strictly an apology, but, it is almost my confession. I confess that I caused as much pain to others as was caused to me �" a significant amount. This is the story that deserves to and will be told. I changed all of your names, but the story remains the same, and that night? Yes, I am telling of that night. The things that happened are things I cannot forget, no matter how hard I try. Every time I close my eyes I see her face, even if I only blink for a second. I’m desperately holding on to the idea that writing it all down will make it stop.

I hope you all forgive me, for the things I have done in the past and for recording all of our unfortunate misadventures. I hope that things are well with you, and I hope you are all beginning to come to terms with what happened.

 

Lucie

Reviews

[matrixmark]

First paragraph - strong beginning and I actually found it quite moving. The following sentence on the second paragraph I can relate to. Being hurt many moons ago felt exactly how you described it. But those times are gone and I am the most happiest I have ever been.

That night huh - This left me wanting to read more about that night.Intrigued - yes I am.

Nice prologue.

Mark.