Love, Hate, Break

First cigarette, no sex, 

Smoke clouds, not allowed, 

Drinking late, love hate, 

Laugh, cry, smile, try 

Kids park, wet grass, 

Shared f**s, no class, 

Holding hands, intimacy banned, 

Late nights, intense fights, 

Laugh, cry, smile, try, 

Drunk mornings, late nights, 

Back to school, what a fright, 

Laugh, cry, smile, die. 

 

Laugh, cry, smile, try 

Not to die. 

Don’t sleep, hear the beep, 

Family crying, nurses trying, 

Nothing said, hospital bed, 

Drawn curtain, no question, 

No text, no call, 

No apology, not at all, 

Pill popping, lie stopping, 

Stomach pumping, body slumping, 

Midnight sickness, blood test, 

Tired eyes, painful chest. 

 

Heart hurt, stomach bled, 

Wishing, waiting, wanting, 

Dead.

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

The term JEEP stood for Just Enough Essential Parts and I think this is a JEEP version of a write.
Total word ecomony without any loss of feelings conveyed. The reader is taken on a tempestuous doom-laden journey of so-called 'love'.
The reader who aspires is educated how to write minimally but potently.
Excellent writing.

[Molly K]

Thank you! I've never heard of that term before but I think now I'll look around for some more JEEP poetry.

Thank you for your lovely comments I really appreciate it.

[Coyote Poetry]

Powerful use of words. Your made your emotion come alive in the word.
I liked the flow of thoughts leading to logical ending.
"Heart hurt, stomach bled,
Wishing, waiting, wanting,
Dead."
The lines above. Amazing. Thank you Molly for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Molly K]

Thank you so much!

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome Molly.