Letter to My Sister

A poem dedicated to my sister, who died 12 years ago this coming Friday.

Little baby sister

It's been much too long

Since I last saw your face,

Heard your voice.

The time has passed much too fast,

And try as I do, I can't slow it down.

I want to go back to those days,

Those sweet, slow, beautiful days

When we were together,

Happy and safe.

But that's been gone, for much too long,

We can't have it back, no matter the wishes.

You'd be 18 now,

Much to my surprise,

My little baby sister

Would have been all grown up by now.

But you're stuck in time, in a far away place,

Stuck forever in my mind, at the tender age of six.

Remember your party,

The balloons, the gifts?

All your friends were there,

We laughed and played, who could have known?

Just one small, tiny, seemingly insignificant week,

And then you were gone, forever left in my memory.

Who could have predicted,

That my little heart could hurt so much?

You'd be surprised at how much heartache,

A little 7-year-old girl can take.

I called your name, but you couldn't come back.

I wished every night, for my sister to come home.

I sat in the living room,

Shell-shocked, with our cousin.

We told God we'd give anything,

For you to come home, safe, even if you could never walk again.

But God let us down, and kept you for himself, up there in the clouds.

And I'm still down here, missing you, always thinking about 'might-have-beens'.

I hope it's beautiful, up there in Heaven.

And I hope that when it's my time,

You'll save a spot for me,

Right next to you on a perfect little cloud.

We'll make up for all our lost time, and be the sisters we never had the chance to be.

And things will be perfect, just you and me, little sis.