The First Pain

Eros finally spoke to me

Through a sledgehammer personified by

A hop-scotching angel

Who fell into my empty arms

When I wasn’t paying attention.

I probably looked like my name

Was just called out in the crowd

But her eyes spoke with such confidence

There could be no mistake.

The shadows I lingered in

Were dispelled when she withdrew her hands

And exclaimed, Guess Who!

The sinister testicles I would offer

To Satan’s barren offering plate

If he would grant me the game of pool

Promised but undelivered.

A scattering of lunch table conversations,

A bungled waltz in an icy parking lot,

Prehistoric journal entries from coverless notebooks,

And DVDs I thumb through but never watch

Are my souvenirs of what seventeen tasted like.

 The inevitable words

A test of my commitment or harsh reality?

Either way I failed.

I swallowed the lies

Like those first gulps of rum

Stolen from the back

Of the old man’s liquor shelf.

Assuring myself it was “just a break”

As a jittering hand fidgeted with

That damn childproof lighter

Until the tip burned crimson

And you left your mark on me forever.