My Friend�s New Girlfriend

Over luke-warm coffee

And a crumbling blueberry muffin

In the university commons

Jay b*****s about head games

Executed by the newest street nymph

In his rogues gallery.

Fast forward a few months

And the contender comes out swinging

Against the new champion

Of his thoughts and heartbeats.

In tweed jacket and oversized spectacles

I point out her every shortcoming

On the overhead projector

And offer him a list of course approved vessels

Into which his DNA should pass.

Despite my better judgment

He lets the harpy dig her claws

Into his brawny shoulders

And cart him over Charon and his leaky boat

To a land I’m well acquainted with.

I pull out two beers from the back of the fridge

And collapse in the recliner

Awaiting a knock at the door any minute—

There’s two empty bottles

And one lonely drunk

When the wife comes home

And questions my 80 proof tears.

I look at her

And see only the good men

Who perished during the conquest.