so long joe's

i didn't cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig, but i cry now. -groundskeeper willie

we marched this morning

towards a few roasted beans

perculating ominously.

the only thing to wake us

from our foggy state

was the rattling of wreckage

across the street.

a great beast upon the land

with a hungry open jaw

devouring the world about.

it was in this moment we realized

the ground the beast now claimed

once belonged to our friend Joe.

 

No one ever saw Joe,

some claimed he didn't exist,

just a fat cartoon character

winking at us from a laminated menu.

ha, we know the truth,

with a capital T!

Joe was there, just up the stairs

Luring us into his home

with promises of juicy burgers,

sweet, sweet waffles,

and the ever popular chicken popper.

Lord forgive us, what fools we be!

 

Somewhere, there are bagpipes playing.

And the lonely scotsman

walks along an anicent river

piping out his tune,

signaling the end of another age.

please, shed me no tears,

but carry in your heart

the memory of a certain place

where drunks can puke on curtains,

men can take lesbians on dates,

fat chicks can force us

to take a bite of a spit filled wrap,

and no one ever wants to sit at the bar.

Where Elvis looks like he's flicking you off,

and there's more Three Stooges memorabilia

than i care to look at.

We are all fools of vanity,

Swines of infidels and pirates.

Sleep my beauty, sleep

For this world was nay good enough for you,

Not by a longshot, Not even close.

 

So now we commence thee to the ages

A chance ne'r to come again.

The only thing left, my friends,

is to pack up our boats,

And sail them back home.

The promise of the New World is lost

For what sense does freedom make

If you can't eat a good meal

At 3 o'clock in the morning?