quiet reflection

the fan's running too loud

so i cut it off for now.

i think about taking a walk

so i can catch a glimpse

of the girl's a*s

who lives in the next apartment.

i heard her playing dylan today

while i folded my laundry.

i'm worried about the future,

and how i've screwed up.

should i concede to the

short sleeve shirt and tie combo

that goes with managing

the bakery at wal-mart?

perhaps it was my worst mistake,

and if so than i am free

from really f*****g up everything

when there's absolutly no going back.

either way, here i am.

a child sitting on the sidewalk

waiting for the world to end.

my neck's been in this noose

for far too long.

i pray for a blade

to free me from this slow strangulation

or to chop off my head,

as long as i know

it's the end of bullshit and pain.