never got over you

f**k facebook for bringing up bad memories.

there's a lot that can be said

about freshmen girls in yellow tank tops.

forgotten romantic gestures

laid at your feet

to trample and forget.

somewhere in the void

between love and lust.

another cigar turned to ash

as one more attempt

falls short once more.

poems, songs, heartache

you will never know.

 

a drunk man sings

in the warmth of an early spring.

his voice finds me

as i kill another cigarette.

i wish to be so carefree,

but i must be true to who i am.

 

a girl with bad teeth

finds out my secret.

feeble attempts are made

like a new born calf

stretching to find the strength

to stand for the first time.

i did everything

but send you flowers.

looking back,

i wouldn't have done a damn thing

different.

 

a slew of pepsi cans upon my desk

she cleans them off,

but leaves me one to ash in.

i'm sitting on my bed,

she's in the chair.

we look at each other for awhile.

somewhere in the silence she leaves.

 

i admit i've made mistakes.

false names and utter lies,

i don't blame you anymore.

there are no excuses.

i am what you made me.

no matter how many eggs i eat

i will never find redemption.

the faster you leave

the quicker i can destroy

another life.

 

brown bottles stacked in the window sill.

anime flashes on the television.

there's a party somewhere,

but i know i won't get laid.

a girl not much older than you

when i decided i'd never speak to you again

blows smoke on my grey sports coat.

 

the taste of stale beer and cigarettes

pressed against my lips.

a new distraction

with the same outcome.

inevitably, we are all alone

sitting in a parking lot

watching the last car drive away

and the only thing we can do

is get a new tattoo.

pain hides the truth.

 

bare tits in front of me

my dick erect

but no one notices.

wrap my lips around a bottle

and chug till everything else

goes away.

it's too f*****g hot.

it's easier to stop caring.