So I Shot Myself

title stolen from the straight to DVD family guy movie

 

12 ounces of Dasani

Is all I have

To wash away the taste

Of stolen cigarettes

And shame.

I thought I was past this--

Falling for mystery women.

Knocking the cards down

Before they’re out of the deck.

A few nights at the computer

And it’s high school all over.

It’s not easy to be clever,

Even Milton

Can see my intentions

As a chariot of demons

Rolls by on cobblestone streets.

To unvow the words

I have yet to speak

In the hallowed halls of majesty

For nothing more than

A pocketful of empty dreams.

I’m the scientist

With no data

Pulling conclusions

Out of the air.

I am the B side

Of a Billy Joel record.

I’ve devolved to

My primordial self.

A pile of goo

Incapable of rational thought,

Who believes he knows

Everything there is

About love and life and eternity.

A God upon the beaches

And mountaintops of mortality

Too blinded to see the dangers

Of the road less traveled.

Buy the ticket

Take the ride

You can pay for it later

In Hell.