melancholia

i curl into my dark haven, rain drops hit my roof 50 times in one minute

raindrops turn into downpour, i lose count letting my thoughts drift back beneath the floorboards

i close my eyes to rest and project myself into a stream of things far out of my reach, they flow in a state of desmemoria

the flourescent bulb overcasting my series of events is getting seemingly dimmer as the days go on, where does the light go after it's convinced everyone of my optimism

when time slips into a lull daze, i think i hear the purpose of this adversity and agony being whispered in my ear
but then the phone rings and i'm playing my role again

i thought i had refound happiness but distractions only stretch so far until the bleakness of reality sets back in

you can only do so much before your nervous system runs dry, you can only say so much until you're all alone, you can create so much until you're burnt out before your 20's

it's not the same anymore, i'm not the same anymore