volatile

it's been a while

coming and going,

burning and fading

maybe I did throw it all away but I created something new in the process

the expectation of consistency has dissolved from my hands,

she said I live second by second

drastic measures make them whisper,

smiles to my face and knives behind my back

it only takes losing everyone including yourself

just to experience change the way I did

living in the f*****g dark and doing anything to make it out alive

I don't know if you expect optimism to stay very long when the order of your life has ceased to exist

I don't know if you expect light in my face after everything

I don't know if you expect me to create stability when it's always been chaos

I don't know if you expect me to have the ability to control my anger after years of holding it all in and being pushed past new limits over and over

rage replaced fear, distortion replaced clarity

I've adjusted to the realization that the way things felt before isn't coming back,

I've adjusted to the frequency of numbness

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Dear Allison, feel of song and I liked the energy of the words.
"I don't know if you expect optimism to stay very long when the order of your life has ceased to exist
I don't know if you expect light in my face after everything
I don't know if you expect me to create stability when it's always been chaos
I don't know if you expect me to have the ability to control my anger after years of holding it all in and being pushed past new limits over and over"
The above lines. Very strong and very good. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This is such a powerful deptiction of someone living in an atmosphere of fear and supression. It flows as verse in a conversational voice and the questions give emphasis to the predicament of the protagonist.