manderine sun

okay okay
 i never
          told you
what it meant
                          to me
                    
              my eyes
strained
      in the sunlight
                    
                and i
cried
                and cried

the last time
            i saw you

okay okay
     i conceal
                     emotion
and place them
          in red pills

that slide
                        down
           my throat

okay okay
   i gave up

when
          i said
i wouldn't