Mommy Dearest

Child's warefare>Mother's happiness

 

 

Mommy Dearest

 

i loved him

i fed him

i held him

i left him

 

he was a part of me,

my child whom i worshiped

it was us against the world;

a place i started to regret

his diapers, the nightly feedings

crawling, bumping his head on tables

the day he started potty training

i gave him everything that i had

until i felt there wasn't much of me

left

 

little time for myself, i was soon

back at work making little

the rent, daycare, utility bills,

food and clothes equaled no dough

forget about new clothes-

i trudged through salvation army bins

then i got laid off for calling in

sick because of my child's chronic cough

he was only 2 and i didn't know what to

do

 

we lost our place, had to make do in

homeless shelters and waiting on long lines

at welfare offices

i'd see women juggling 3, 4 or more kids

and feel like a failure

what right did i have to complain,

if only i knew how to maintain

then one night while laying in a cot

my son started to cry, waking up all the

other homeless people inside

i crept out, patting him but couldn't get him

to stop

 

all i wanted him to do was stop crying!

 

i was the one who needed to let things out

to tear, break things and shout

i was the one who starved and gave him my

scraps, made sure he had clothes on his back

no one held me and told me things were going

to be ok

there had to be a better way

i schlepped to the nearest church down the

street

i could feel through my worn soles the hard concrete

knocking on the wooden doors, then i ran

hid behind bushes until the door opened

the nun picked up my son and clutched her heart

it nearly tore me apart

i wanted to snatch him back and beg for forgiveness

too bad my life was such a mess

i turned my back and headed down a road of

uncertainty

then prayed to God that my son will have a better

life than me

Reviews

[justjenn_2u]

Quite a choice to make in life for a mother. If mother isn't happy, neither is child. This poem is a harsh realistic piece that this society has come to. You express a sad but true reality here. To write this, you would have to explore the pain that a mother and child would face in this situation. Good job and a very interesting subject. I enjoyed!

[Voice]

This poem made me cry. It is so deep, heart-wrenching, and emotional I'm adding it to my read list. Amazing write�

Voice

[James Jr]

That poem is so sad, but it was extrodenary! It is so filled with sorrow. I can truly paint pictures in my mind with the description. True I'm a guy, but I can understand a little bit. Leaving a child is like tearing away a part of your own heart and putting it in the care of someone else that you have no idea about. I don't even know how to explain how inspiring that poem is for me to write a story. Any life situation can be made into a story. But... this has so much creativity.

[WordMaster]

I simple do not know what to say�

I'll just let my heart hold it for a while

[Janyce Helen Van Es]

If only others who fill the prisons everywhere would have done this instead of battering or murdering their children. AND life isn't going to get any easier for new mothers with the recession, inflation and possible depression and job loss. Just worse.

You tell a touching story here. It will be remembered by all who read it I'm sure.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

What beautiful words tell a sad, sad story. It makes my heart hurt and brought tears to my eyes and an ache to my belly, I think only a mom can understand. What a life, what a decision, what a heartache to this mother. So many decisions, so very few choices. A life that is sad and unfair and discouraging. Will it ever get better. What pain here - it leaps from the screen! We must do something better to help our families - we must....

K

[lilain]

Oh, this one made my heart ache. Throughout this poor mother struggles only to do what she knows is best, but her heart yearns otherwise. I didn't expect her to give him up. It was a bittersweet ending to a lovely poem.

Well done and thanks for sharing.