Inadequate

Not up to par

I can’t give her what her dad has

She’s full of joy staying in his new house, while I stare at a beetle crawling around my half swept floor

That m**********r acted like king s**t until I smushed his a*s-

I feel like that beetle 

I AM that beetle

Her dad toyed with me as he took her through Europe

He flicked me with all the family get togethers with his siblings

They all have houses

I live in a modern cold water flat

But this trump card smashed my self esteem to pieces

I have to hold back tears as she tells me how the house has a pool, a hot tub, and no doubt an expressway to heaven

I live in s**t

I can tell she really doesn’t want to leave-those days she says she’d spender there are adding up

F**k yes I’m bitter

I wish the house falls down-without harming anyone

I wish her dad and his wife fall behind and have the house foreclosed

I live in s**t

It would be nice to have them as neighbors 

Author's Note

I’m drinking