Making Deals with the Grim Reaper

Lord, watch over me

 

Making Deals with the Grim Reaper

my troubles i try to keep to myself
i hate to drag others down
in the murky waters of my pain they might drown
so i self medicate in order to ease my mind
do not judge me, sometimes i'm my own worst enemy
so to the dives, the gutters and the "candy" houses i roam
staying home becomes hard and i start to go crazy
well meaning folks give sermons until i start to feel hazy;
their words harming my psyche instead of really saving me
the people i meet never really ask questions
i keep them guessing with every sip, every pill popped
memories fly by as my eyes flutter, i no longer suffer
warmth wraps me in a cocoon in the corner of a room
i lay in my spot, lazy smile creeping on my face
in the filthy surroundings i never feel out of place
when i come back to earth, those warm feelings are replaced
i dust myself off and return to my abode
back from my hours long vacation, my loved ones i'm now facing
they surround me, taking my space and making it heard to breathe
spitting out a bunch of "You need tos" making me want to leave
until i feel one of my young nephews tugging on my sleeve
i feel betrayed, but start crying when i hear what he had to say:
"Auntie, I love you. Please don't disappear anymore!"
i give him a hug, kiss his cheek then head for the door
my mind's racing, i grab my cellphone but don't know who to call
back into the night, i stalk the streets until the daylight
when will everyone learn that my battles are my own to fight