60. In conclusion

~Sexual content. Some explicit wording~

Monday, June 13th, 2016, Annabelle decided to swing by my work. Her arrogant attitude instantly annoyed me. Her chin was in the air like she was smelling something rotten; I badly wanted to tell her it was her attitude. I looked over at my helper; the mom who had helped me calm Noah when Jess went into labor with Serenity. "Hey, Heather," I called out, moving over to her. She was just finishing up changing diapers in the quiet room after nap-time, with assistance from her 16 year old daughter, Claire. Claire had just completed her baby-sitting and first aid course. She helped out often but wasn't actually on my payroll - yet. With her here, I could technically have eight more kids come play; Mondays were generally my slow day, which made it the perfect time to ease the newbies into the business. Heather met me halfway, looking around at the kids running underfoot as Claire finished changing the last child. "Can you keep an eye on all ten kids for a bit? My sister just arrived and I don't want her anywhere near them," I requested softly, turning my back towards my sister as I took several calming breaths. Heather nodded as she faced the south wall and glared.

"Love to, Net. Let me know if you need help getting rid of her. She seems delightful," she replied sarcastically. I nodded and made my way over to the counter, grateful I had thought to upgrade my systems. I had added a chest high counter that was a foot wide for parents to fill out paperwork on and we had a locking swinging door that the kids passed through to come play; it was just a precaution, not a necessity. The counter kept my sister from leaping over and barreling her way over to me, and the locked door couldn't be opened unless you had the micro-chipped key cards my staff wore on a lanyard with their name tag. It also kept the kids from running out the door; over the years, I had a few wild ones that would try and escape if they could. I smiled warmly at my sister. Her hazel eyes were fierce and hard. Her hair was greasy and cut in an unflattering way, it looked like she had taken the scissors to her own head, or worse, let a five year old go to town. Now that I thought about it, the five year old probably would have done a better job. She was wearing a red dress that looked like it came from the 60's, but it didn't flatter her body at all. She definitely looked out of place. She never seemed to care about her appearance. The only time she looked relatively put together is when she was in her ROTC camouflage. Then her required stance matched her angry face.

"What can I help you with, Annabelle?" I asked sweetly. She scowled at me.

"Dad," she replied flatly. I took a deep breath, pressed my hands on the lower counter on my side, and studied her, hoping she would give me more information. After a long uncomfortable silence, she rolled her eyes, twisted some of her shoulder length hair in between her fingers, and continued, "he's been hit and has been hospitalized. He's been asking for you. Heaven knows why. You two haven't spoken a word since you ran away."

"I didn't run away. He said I died. To make sure I didn't come home, he stole all my money," I replied coldly.

"Whatever. Daddy says you did. Stop lying and grow the f**k up," she snapped. I glared at her.

"What do you want, Annabelle? Talk to me civilly, respectfully, and without cussing, or get out of my place of business," I ordered harshly. She looked over my shoulder and smirked. I turned around and followed her gaze; one of my three year old boys was in her line of sight. I shifted my body and hid him from her, meeting her eyes again. She was a few inches taller than me, but she didn't need to glare at my son.

"Told you. Dad. He's in the hospital and wants to see you. You would know this if you gave me your damn phone number. I'm not allowed to call you here at your workplace either. I can't even get it out of pathetic, weak Mom. God. Like you're someone worth protecting. I can find a way that will break her eventually, but watching her crumble and cry is fun for now. She never speaks about you. I have plenty of words for you though. You're still no better than a piece of s**t on the bottom of my shoe," she retorted.

"Annabelle, leave Mom alone. You can find me here 90% of the time. Your time has expired. Please leave. You can write where I have to be on this piece of paper," I instructed, giving her a pen and paper. She rolled her eyes so I wrote the information down myself. 

"Helena. Room 721. I didn't even think you deserved to know, but you're family and apparently it's what we do. You are expected to be there no later than Wednesday night. You should tell him about those brats too. A name would be helpful. I stole the pictures from Mom's work. He already knows about them. Just like Daddy, I'm going to be a cop. I will graduate and demand to be put in your area. Tell him or I'll find a way to close this place down and take everything attached to it: money, profits, full time employees. D****t, I'll even get those kids taken away from you too. You name it, it'll be mine. I will be more successful than you," she threatened.

"Great. Then I'll start a file against you too: police brutality and theft," I replied haughtily, keeping my voice low. Nobody messed with or threatened my family.

"Ms. High-and-mighty, you think you're hot s**t? Oh please. I'll always be better than you. This is proven because I won't have to file false police reports to solve a problem that isn't there. I'll take you down. Just wait and see," she huffed. She glared at me, spun on her heel and left, slamming the door behind her. 

"Keep telling yourself that," I thought. I was now fuming, blinking back tears, and supporting most of my weight on my hands against the counter. I looked up at the south wall, my wall mural, and took a calming breath. "Look at all those hands, 'Nettie! You make a difference," I told myself silently, studying the wall carefully. We had added kiddie sized storage areas with coat hooks, coordinated with the number pinned to their back. Serenity and CJ had helped me paint them in fun colors. Then we painted alphabet above them and Renae had given me templates of cartoon animals that I traced into the the individual spaces. I smiled. She couldn't take away my happiness and joy because it wasn't contained in my business; she wouldn't be able to break my desire to help others, stop loving, or stop caring.

Whenever I saw Annabelle at Mom's place, she would always try to hurt me, blaming me for the hell she has to go through because Mom still had custody even though Annabelle demanded to live with Dad all the time. "He said you were dead; trust me, it would be better. Instead, you got him transferred and I have to move back here because Mom wouldn't move. What makes you so special? Do you just like seeing people fail?" She had yelled at me after my honeymoon as I took Mom a casserole. Annabelle had to spend the weekends and Memorial day through Labor day with Mom, weekdays with Dad. During school, it was reversed. At first, I took her anger and yelling as teenager rebellion. Then she hit me, giving me a fat lip. I laughed at her, pissing her off further; she really wanted me to react and try and hit her back. It didn't take much to see who she was being molded after; and I was his favorite target. Pat wouldn't let me go visit my mom alone if it was the time Annabelle was supposed to be over. As much as she hated me, Annabelle seemed to hate Pat even more. I knew that her time with Dad, he was filling her head with lies about us. Noah seemed to be able to stay off of Annabelle's radar; he and his family were nothing. But because I had started the file against Dad and was the apparent reason behind their divorce, Annabelle was out for blood. Once she turned eighteen, she stopped coming back over to Mom's place. However, she still came by to harass me at least once a month. I ignored it mainly. Mom moved to a smaller home, between Noah's home and mine. It of course pissed off my sister, but only because she couldn't locate it. Mom made a wise call and would only see Annabelle in a public setting.

Annabelle was almost twenty now; how could she be so blind to how wicked he was? Why now? Why was he reaching out to me? I put my hand over my mouth and ran to the bathroom, expelling my lunch into the toilet. I cleaned up quickly and made my way to the employee break room. I picked up the phone and called Pat. Linda had resigned from head manager and left him in her place.

"Hello, beautiful," he greeted cheerfully when he picked up. 

"Pat," I whispered, feeling ready to break down and cry. He immediately picked up on the fact that something was wrong.

"I'll be there in two minutes, doll. Call in another employee to finish off the day for you," he ordered as he hung up. I nodded and looked at my list of employees: six high schoolers, two locals that had requested this time off, Heather, and myself. Tyler had married Stephanie in March, 2011. They honeymooned in Cancun while Pat and I baby-sat their 15 month old son Flynn. Stephanie loved the warm weather so much, that they moved to Phoenix, Arizona. Since then, they had two more boys: Felix and Fletcher, all two years apart. The only time we saw them any more was through video chat, once a week. Peter had gotten a better job offer in Salmon, Idaho, so Olivia was gone too. I looked at the high schoolers again. Four of them needed to be here with two full time locals even if we were under 12 kids; they were good workers, just young and unsure about how to entertain more than one kid at a time. That left me with two choices, both were 17 years old and would be seniors in the fall: Destiny or Phoebe. I walked over to Heather.

"I need to go home. Pat will be around to help until someone else arrives. Would you rather have Destiny or Phoebe help you close tonight?" I asked. She smiled at me.

"Both are good helpers. Destiny lives further away, if that helps," she offered. I nodded and headed back to the break room calling Phoebe. She answered immediately and was happy to have been called in for work. I moved my way back toward the playroom and interacted with the kids, helping Heather round them up for story time. When Pat came in, I let him through the gate. One look at my face, and he immediately made me sit down by the counter, and in a soft voice I told him everything that happened. He pursed his lips, rubbed my back, and looked over at our sons. 

"Everything that comes out of her mouth is dripping in venom and disgust. I can only imagine what he wants since that's who she learned it from," I confessed, my voice cracking. 

"We'll call the room tonight after we put the boys down and see what the deal is. It's a compromise that keeps you safe. There's no way we're telling him about either of our boys individually," Pat insisted. I nodded and buried my head in his chest, feeling like I was ready to cry. "Go home, love. I'll stick around until help arrives. Take my car. The boys' seats are in yours." I nodded and kissed his cheek. He rubbed my hand tenderly as he looked down upon me. "Love you, Sarah." 

"Love you too, Benji," I whispered with a smile as I handed over the key to the door and my chipped key to the gate. He kissed my temple and headed over to play with all the kids. I gathered my items from the break room and ducked out the back, knowing that if my boys saw me leave, even with Daddy being there, they would have a fit. I made sure the door was secure before leaving; this door could only be opened from the inside for safety reasons. I hated being so paranoid, but it paid off. I had not had a single incident and everyone felt safe here. With the exception of my sister stepping in and harassing me today, there had been no cases of harassment in any form, no robberies, and no attempted kidnappings. I took several deep breaths as I walked to Pat's full sized silver Chrysler. 

His truck we sold after we were surprised with twins on Saturday, May 18, 2013; I was at 36 weeks and the doctor encouraged me to get induced day prior since my amniotic fluids were low. We didn't want to sell Pat's truck, but the backseat would only hold one car seat comfortably. My whole pregnancy, the ultrasounds only showed one baby, and when we listened to the heartbeat, we only heard one, no echo. I never cared to find out the gender, knowing the baby would be loved either way. Benjamin Levi came out at 10:47 am. After ten minutes, the doctors grew concerned as I had yet to deliver my placenta. That's when the nurse pulled up the baby's heartbeat monitor, she was surprised that there was still a heartbeat registering. The doctor had the nurse move beside him. I had looked up at Pat as he stroked my cheek and told me how beautiful I was. I looked over at Benjamin as one nurse worked on him, then the nurse by the doctor was instructing me to push again. Pat and I were dumbfounded then overjoyed as Jeremiah Scott joined us at 11:23 am. Both boys were healthy and over six and a half pounds which shocked everyone because I was smaller full term than most pregnant at the six month range. I had asked how we missed Jeremiah in all my visits. The doctor explained it as shadow twins -an exceptionally rare case where the whole pregnancy- baby B mimics everything baby A does as they sit one on top of the other. He told us to consider ourselves lucky, because in cases like this, baby B rarely survived, usually because the umbilical cord had strangled the baby. Pat had held me as I wept joyfully as both babies were placed in my arms. I had looked up at him, grinned, and exclaimed, "you really do give me everything!"

"You deserve every bit of happiness, doll. I would give you everything I'm capable of. I'm as surprised as you are, baby. We're parents! To twins!" He had chuckled before kissing me again. "Next to my own mother, you are the most beautiful mom I have ever laid eyes upon," he whispered causing me to blush again. Together, we figured out how to go from a family of two to a family of four and it was a joyous adventure. I had been able to witness all sorts of sibling interactions, whether it came from a family who had multiples in one setting or a family that had multiple children from several settings, nothing came near the relationship that Benny and Jerry had. They were closer to each other than I could have ever dreamed. 

I got in Pat's car, took another deep breath, and was home within three minutes. I grabbed a glass of water and headed to my room. I felt drained; I couldn't understand why I was so worked up over this. After brushing my teeth, I got comfortable on my bed, and closed my eyes, hoping I wouldn't cry. My sister or dad didn't deserve my tears. 

Wearily, I looked at the time. 3:38pm. Jess didn't get off her shift at the hospital until 7:00. Noah hated to talk over the phone when he was responsible for watching Serenity, CJ, and five year old Elizabeth Jewel. Renae had married Ed as she promised in June 2010. Ed was a great father to Theo. In the next three consecutive years, they had another boy they called Rixton, followed two girls: Willow and Virginia - who they called Gina. Renae was excelling as a tattoo apprentice and would soon be granted permission to go out on her own. Bob finally gave up his fight with cancer shortly after Rixton was born four years ago. His funeral shed a lot of light on how lonely his last few years were, but I praised him on never letting it show but wept internally on the lack of support he had. He loved hanging out with Pat and I, even more, he loved it when Renae came home. Darlene started to sub at the school as often as she could. She hated being alone, so Mom agreed to let her move in. That made me feel better too; I hated seeing how both of them hurt. Any form of companionship was better than none at all. After being treated poorly by her ex, Esther went back to dating Shawn; they were on their honeymoon now. I sighed and put my phone down. Everyone I wanted to talk to just wasn't available. I closed my eyes again, just for a moment. 

"Doll," Pat crooned stroking my face. I blinked sleepily at him before bolting up and running to the bathroom to throw up again. He lovingly followed me into the bathroom, held my hair, and rubbed my back. Pitter-patter of little feet and giggling met my ear. I smiled and flushed the toilet as Benny and Jerry peeked around the corner. "Hey, boys. Mama's sick. Wanna help me make dinner tonight?" Pat asked. Both boys jumped up and down excitedly. 

"I do! I do," they hollered. I chuckled and looked at them; they were identical in almost every way: a few ounces and centimeters separated them, they achieved milestones within days of each other, both had light ash blonde hair -it would probably turn dirty blonde like their father's hair- round faces, chubby cheeks and legs, but skinny and tall for their age. Their blue eyes were soft and bright, light colored like Pat's eyes, but a couple shades darker; just not as dark as mine though. Their speech pattern was very similar too; I had a hard time telling which one was talking to me if he wasn't in the room with me. Jerry got his father's thin and limp, but full head of hair, Benny had gotten my thick wavy hair; that was the only physical difference. Their personalities were a big difference too, although they shared portions of their brother's personality too. While Benny was more wild and daring, with no fear, Jerry was my sensitive, cautious one. He took one look at me and stopped jumping. His eyes started to well up with tears and he came over and sat on my lap. I rubbed his hair and leaned into Pat. Benny was still jumping and hollering, trying not to laugh but failing miserably. Jerry rubbed my hand. "Mama. Use icky?" 

"Yeah, sweet pumpkin. Mama's icky," I confirmed. He gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. "Thank you, Jerry. I'm feeling better already. Could you go find me a bear?" He grinned and took off; Benny tailing behind him, laughing. "He takes after his daddy," I mused as Pat rubbed my shoulders. "We must have left Benny alone with Josh one too many times," I teased. Pat chuckled behind me. I stood up and moved to the sink, rinsing out my mouth and washing my hands. Pat stood behind me, continuing to rub small circles on my back. "I feel fine. Besides the fact that I just threw up, I don't feel sick," I confessed meeting his worried eye in the mirror. He nodded.

"And you were napping. Doll, it's nearly six. We came home just around four when Phoebe finally showed up. I let you rest, you apparently needed to. Are you sure you're fine?" He inquired. I nodded, grabbed his hand, and he led me into the front room. I quickly braided my hair as he sat me on the couch and met my eye. "What have you eaten today?"

"Breakfast with you -waffles, scrambled eggs, strawberries- although now that I think about it, they tasted off - and orange juice. Lunch at work, we served the kids mini corndogs, pineapple, carrots, and cheese nips. Heather and I had grilled ham and cheese. I missed snack time. I came home, got a glass of water and laid down," I told him truthfully as I secured my hair in place. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the strawberries. He sliced one up and brought if over on a plate. "I just threw up, darling. Do you really want me to eat that?"

"Yes. You told me that you felt fine, not nauseated. So you're going to take a bite and tell me how it tastes," he ordered playfully. I furrowed my brow at him and looked at the boys; they were doing play dough at the kitchen table. "Please, Sarah," Pat begged. I sighed and took a strawberry slice, so did he. I took a small nibble, expecting the sweet juice to cover my taste buds; all I got was bitter. I scowled and looked at the fruit; I could see no flaws. It was perfectly red on the outside like it should be, it wasn't turning colors. The firmness was where it should be too. It was juicy, but I was tasting more minerals than the sweetness I came to expect. I relayed this information to Pat. "I don't get any of those flavors, the berry still tastes sweet to me. So does it taste metallic?" I nodded and his eyes danced as he took the rest of the strawberry slice away from me, eating it himself. "Has any other food tasted metallic?" I shook my head, pausing as I thought.

"Everything besides strawberries taste like it's supposed to. Although now that you've mentioned metallic, I can kinda taste a lingering metal in my mouth. I just thought it was caused because of stomach acid and bad breath," I told him honestly. "What are you thinking?" 

"What sounds good to eat right now?" He inquired with a grin. I gave him a confused look. He just watched me get sick; food was not on my mind. "Humor me, doll." I bit my lip and looked down. What did sound good?

"Cucumbers, tomatoes, red and green peppers, and celery mixed together with a bit of oil and vinegar and pepper," I confessed meeting his eye. He gave me a broad smile that met his eye. I was still confused. "Why?"

"When was your last period, love?" I rubbed my head trying to remember. Pat crouched down beside me, his left leg straight out to the side. He grabbed my left hand and rubbed my right thigh. "Is it possible you're pregnant again?" His eyes twinkled as he asked. I gasped as I finally put the puzzle together, flustered that he pieced it together before me.

"Around my birthday I had my period. I've been so busy planning for the boys' birthday and at work, I didn't even notice I missed it," I breathed, grabbing my stomach and holding his hand in excitement. "Pat!" He smiled at me and kissed my hand. "You could have waited until we dealt with the elephant in the room before you helped me figure out that news!" I exclaimed. That caught Benny's attention; elephant's were his favorite animal.

"My el-fa-lant!" He screamed running around looking for it. Pat looked at him and smiled as he stood up and moved to the kitchen to put the strawberry plate away.

"Walk, bud," he ordered. Benny listened for two seconds. I looked over at Jerry. He too was looking around for a toy. Pat came back into the living room and stood behind the couch, directly behind me. He began rubbing my shoulders again. "Jerry, did you find Mama's bear yet?" Jerry looked at Pat with wide eyes before looking back at me. He ran over to the toy box and grabbed several bears, bringing them all over to me. I smiled and gave them all a hug before hugging him as he kept his arms wrapped around my bear Mintage; it was easily his favorite bear just because he always had candy. Benny brought over his stuffed elephant and a book. I pulled him up in my lap too and began reading. Neither one had the patience to sit through a story so I just let them flip through the pages, as I said random things. Pat kissed the top of my head so I leaned back and looked at him. His eyes held my gaze and I couldn't get enough of him. "I'm going to go get dinner, doll. I'll be back soon," he promised. He rubbed his nose down mine. "Want me to take them?" I bit my lip and looked down with a small shiver. "Okay. I'll ask them. You are going to take it easy. Benny, Jerry. I'm going to go visit Uncle Josh at work. Do either of you want to come with me?" Both boys threw their toys on the floor and ran to get their shoes. I chuckled and bent over to pick them up. Pat kept his hands on my shoulders and pulled me back. "Benjamin. Jeremiah," he said sternly. Both boys froze and looked at him. I smiled.

"What do we do with our toys when we're all done with them?" I asked kindly as I rubbed Pat's hand. Our boys looked at the toys at me feet then at the door. "If you want to go with Daddy, you need to pick up please." They obediently came over and picked up their toys, leaving four toys on the ground. "I can take care of those," I insisted as I looked up at Pat. He nodded.

"Shoes, boys! Let's go!" He ordered, clapping his hands, chasing them around. I giggled as I watched them. He was a great father and our boys adored him. I stood up and picked up the remaining toys to put them away. Pat rebuked me playfully, "Mama, you're sick. You need to take it easy." 

"I can handle putting a few toys away," I insisted. Pat winked at me and herded the boys out the door. "Love you! Have fun."

"Love you!" They all chorused. Pat blew me a kiss and shut the door behind him. I moved over to the kitchen area and cleaned up the dining room table, putting all the play-dough away and washing the table. It was kind of in the way when I wanted to do laundry, but we made it work. I bit my lip and held my stomach, moving down the hall to look at the bedrooms. Benny and Jerry were fine sharing a room right now. The bookshelves were full of literature for all ages. The workout equipment was moved to the wall all the way to the right of the room. The Murphy bed was on the left side of the room. If I was pregnant, we would be out of room for any company; Grandpa Alex Greenfield was our most popular stay-over guest. I pursed my lips and looked around. I moved back to my room and picked up my phone and sent Josh a message. 

"I know you do carpentry work only on the side, but I need help designing an extension on the house and a quote. Also, I need to know how long it would take you to do and if Rachel would mind if I stole you for that time frame," I texted him. Josh was the only one I knew that had any experience with any construction; bonus, he had an independent contractor's license so I knew I was getting a professional to help out. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough full time carpentry work around Haugan to keep him busy, nor did he want to move to find work. Pat could do minor fixes around the house, but Josh was the one I turned to when I had any questions about anything major. He helped us re-shingle the roof and redo the siding after a bad hail storm. He also added a front porch for us. Pat kept him on the schedule at the restaurant, giving him the hours he wanted, but Josh didn't need much; his side projects kept him well funded. Two years ago, he finally settled down and married one of the ladies that worked front desk at the hotel. Rachel was exactly opposite of Josh and eight years his minor, but they loved each other. Every Sunday, they would join us for dinner. She was expecting their first child at the end of August. Amanda sent me a text every now and then; she did a lot of travelling but still hadn't found the one guy who made her feel special. I sent her a thinking-of-you text since she crossed my mind and moved to the bathroom. I looked at the calendar on the wall and looked back to see when my last period was; it was still predictable, every 22 days, lasting for three days. The last time I made a note of having a period was March 29, but it was only two days. I pursed my lips. I should have had one April 20th, May 12th, and June 3rd. I counted the weeks. "8-9-10-11. No way!" I gasped as I looked down at my belly. I was still mostly flat; I was starting to show at about week nine with the boys. There was a little flab around my midsection; bigger than a tennis ball and smaller than a softball. I had played it off as my mama-pooch, being lazy, and not doing full workout to tone my abs.

"Eleven what, doll?" Pat asked from the door. I jumped in surprise. "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you," he murmured, walking over to me. I showed him. He smiled and pulled out a pregnancy test from his back pocket. "I think you would rather know for sure." I nodded and took it from him. "So, house extension huh? Josh gave me a goofy grin when that message came in." I giggled and looked down, leaning into his arms. "Sounds fun. Not a bad idea either. It'd definitely be cheaper than finding a bigger place in the area."

"While we're at it, can we add a fireplace?" I begged. He wrapped his arms around me and laughed.

"No guarantees, doll. We'll look into it," he promised. I placed the pregnancy test on the counter and grabbed his hand. He kissed the top of my head. "Boys are eating. I got you some food too. Come eat with us," he pleaded. I nodded and walked with him to the kitchen. He ordered me exactly what I had mentioned earlier. I gave him a side hug and opened the oil and vinegar containers as I sat down. He walked around the table to his spot. I met his eye across the table and he smiled at me. "We didn't have celery or cucumbers," he explained. I nodded. He pushed over a bowl of food too. "Chicken noodle was the soup. Figured that would be good for you too."

"You are seriously the sweetest person ever, darling. Thank you," I replied sincerely. Jerry was starting to get fussy and tired. I looked at the clock in the kitchen; he still had forty-five minutes before bedtime. "Jerry," I crooned. He looked up at me with wet eyes. "What's wrong with your food, pumpkin?" He pushed his chicken strips and french fries away as he whined. I put the plate in front of me and pretended to eat his food, offering him every other bite. He stopped crying and ate a full meal. Benny was ignoring his food, focusing on drinking his chocolate milk. I smiled. They were growing up too fast. I met Pat's eye and smiled. "One more?"

"Our luck, probably two," he teased. I giggled and shook my head. "Is it bath night for them, doll?" I nodded and ate my salad. Jerry begged for some of my food, which caused Benny to want some too. "There's more in the fridge for you, love," he informed me. I nodded and gave the boys some of my food. I finished the remaining cucumber salad and sighed, pushing my plate away. The boys were already down and playing quietly in the front room. I gathered up their plates, stacking it on mine. "I'll do baths. You go put your feet up," Pat ordered as he cleared the table, leaving the soup in front of me. I stood up to go do the dishes he just put it in the sink. Pat stood in front of me and held onto my hips. "My dear, please, go sit and put your feet up. You're a little peaked. Once they're in bed, we'll take care of that other thing."

"You do so much for me. You give me more than I thought to ask for. You always put me first; surely I'm failing you in some manner," I protested as I looked up at him, wrapping my arms around his waist. He smiled lovingly at me as he stroked my hair. 

"You're not failing me, doll. You never have. I don't think you could ever let me down," he murmured. "You have a man that loves you and you love in return. You have two brilliant little boys that look up to you; they love you too. They are healthy, happy, and thriving. They have your creativity and passion for fun. You create delicious meals for us to enjoy. You always smile. You run a very successful business. You're not a failure." I smiled and leaned into him.

"I'm not. Just sometimes I feel inadequate," I whispered. "Do you ever feel like that?"

"All the time," he confessed. He lifted my chin so he could look into my eyes. "Because how could someone so beautiful and pure love someone like me? I mean have you seen me? I'm disgusting and have the markings of a monster."

"You underestimate yourself, sir," I whispered. He chuckled and pressed his lips against my forehead. "Have I ever told you that my favorite Disney movie is Beauty and the Beast?" I remarked with a smirk. He laughed and wrapped both arms around my shoulders. "I'm serious!" 

"I know. You've only mentioned it a time or two. Guess we'll have to watch it later then," he whispered. He swatted my rear end and pulled me to the living room. "Stay here, doll," he ordered. I gave him a salute, causing him to look down and grin. "Trouble," he mouthed. He turned back to our children and helped them pick up. "Give Mama a hug, boys. It's time for a bath." They grinned and gave me a hug. I rubbed their backs and kissed their heads. They kissed my cheek and ran off as Pat chased them down the hall. I giggled and put the leg rest up, leaning back into my seat. "You sure your favorite movie isn't Sleeping Beauty?" Pat teased as he caressed my cheek. I smiled up at him as he leaned over the rear of the couch.

"Pretty sure it's your favorite. Hey, you," I murmured sleepily.

"Hey, you," he replied softly. I pulled him down and kissed his cheek. He moved his lips towards mine and brushed his nose over my chin. "Can I sit by you?" He asked as he stood up again. I nodded and sat up. He walked around and held onto me. "Boys are sleeping, dishes are done, and you're napping again. I have the number to Helena's hospital. Shall we make that phone call?"

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. You didn't have to do everything! Pat, I could have helped with something!" I exclaimed as I sat up in a panic. He pulled me back to his chest as he rubbed my arm.

"Shhh, doll. You're fine. Would you like to call the hospital or have me?" I looked over my shoulder at him. "The sooner we get this out in the air, the less you'll have to stress about it. You need to talk to Brad." I scowled as I nodded and leaned into him. "You want to call?" I shook my head. "Can I?" I nodded again. Pat dug out his smartphone and dialed the number. He put it to his ear and continued to rub my shoulder. "Yes ma'am. Can I have room 721 please? Trooper Gibson... Thank you... Hello, sir... It's Pat... Enough. She's my wife and I have every right to call you... No! You can tell me why Annabelle is threatening my family," Pat was starting to get angry. I looked at him and met his eye as he listened to what was being said on the other line. His eyes were hard, when I met them, he softened immediately, but his lips remained pursed. I smiled. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm sorry you were hit by a drunk driver. But that doesn't give you the right to talk to her... That's not her fault. She died according to you, ten years ago," Pat sighed and looked at me, raising one eyebrow. I shrugged my shoulders. Pat seemed reluctant to put it on speaker but he did, holding it out. I grabbed it and held it for him, in front of my face. "You have one minute to talk to her then I'm taking the phone away again. You can't hurt her any more."

"Says who?" Dad snapped. "Give the damn phone to my daughter now! You no good, ungrateful, lying thief. You took my-"

"Lower your voice," I ordered harshly, interrupting his angry spiel. "You have no right to yell at me or my husband. 40 seconds."

"Annette, I'm dying. Will you come see me?"

"No," I replied coldly. "I have no reason to see you."

"I was doing a routine stop and hit by a drunk driver. My legs and several ribs are broken. Blessing in disguise, because they found something else seriously wrong. They found a clogged arteries in my heart. I'm scheduled for a triple bypass surgery Thursday morning. I wanted to see you," he huffed.

"That's nice. You have Annabelle for that. We're done, sir," I replied coldly.

"Like hell we are!" Dad yelled.

"No we are. You want me there because you're scared and you want to hurt someone. I'm not coming back," I snapped. 

"I owe you an apology, Annette," he stated, he seemed calm. I rolled my eyes.

"You owe me nothing. I'm dead to you. The end. You decided that the day I was kidnapped; I know secretly you were disappointed I came back at all. I also know that you were pleased with the way my body looked, all broken and mangled," I was starting to get angry. Pat tried to pull the phone away, but remained silent. I took a deep breath and met my husband's eyes. In-two-three-four-five. Out-seven-eight-nine-ten. His eyes searched mine as I repeated the process and his hand rubbed both my shoulders. I gave him a small smile and he grinned; I was calm again. "One day, forgiveness may come, but it's not today. Especially since you have Annabelle following in your footsteps and your wish was that my body would be found in the river. Do not seek me out again. I don't wish you any ill will, but I have no desire to see you. My children don't need a grandpa like you in their lives. Not even Annabelle knows their names, just their initials and that's all you'll get too. J and B. You can spread as many lies as you want to Annabelle, but you're done hurting me and my family," I expressed angrily but keeping my voice level and calm. I gave Pat the phone then paced in the kitchen, my left hand wrapped around my waist as my right elbow rested on it and I chewed my fingernails. Pat said a few more words, but I didn't hear the exchange. He came back into the kitchen and held onto me. "What right does he have? Why now? I can't," I sobbed into his chest.

"I can't fault him for trying to reconcile with you, but I can fault his methods. He's still trying to get inside your head and hurt you. You are strong and have fought wave after wave of his onslaughts. Doll, you are very forgiving and most of the time hold no grudges. I understand why you're so bitter towards him, but you're only hurting yourself by holding onto this anger," he murmured. I felt my knees go weak as I leaned on my husband and cried; he remained planted and just held me.

"I've tried forgiving him. It's not as easy as forgiving the men that kidnapped me or the men who hurt you. He's my father he was supposed to protect me, but he caused me to be cowardly and withdrawn, convincing me that he was making me stronger with every hit. How can I look at our beautiful boys and tell them about emotions and how to be outstanding men if my whole childhood was based on lie after lie after lie?" I wept. Pat just held me. I looked up at him and continued, "how can I say it's okay to cry when my number one rule was crying is a form of weakness? Or how I was made to think that you'll never be taken seriously if you let them see you cry?" Pat's eyes held confusion and pain in as he gazed upon me.

"How can you teach them to be nurturing, loving, and forgiving if you hold onto your hate of your father?" He countered. I buried my head in his chest again, pulling both hands up to my face and weeping into them. "Darling, I know it hurts you to hold onto this anger. It hurts me to see you in pain, but not once did I think you were weak when you cried. I'm just trying to help you, doll. The one person who was always meant protect you let you down in the worst way. It is my duty now to protect your heart, you, and your mind. I do the best I can. I love you so much. I can't allow you to hurt yourself any more; you can't keep holding onto this anger." Pat rubbed my head and back simultaneously.

"You are the best. In every way. You have shown me what love is and make me happy. I feel safe with you. As well as loved, desired, beautiful, and more. I don't want to see him; especially alone," I cried softly. 

"I'd go with you; I promised you a long time ago that I would never let you face your monsters again - especially alone. Josh can watch the kids. I admire your strength, but you don't have to see him," he whispered. I shook my head; he was right. I had to let go of my anger to be the best mom I could for our boys.

"I have to. Sooner would be best," I whispered, choking on a sob. 

"I've been staying in touch with Officer Davies. We send him a Christmas card every year. I can have him recommend someone from the Helena office if you want. We can have one or more officer there with us." I wrapped my arms around him and just sat there in several minutes in silence. "Let me know what you decide," he whispered when my cries subsided as he pulled out his phone again and opened up his music playlist, setting his phone one the breakfast nook. Could this be love - The Wanted was first on his list. I chuckled and looked down. "Dance with me?" I nodded. He moved me around to the living room where we had a little more room; our coffee table had been moved into storage for fear of the boys breaking the glass. Pat moved the couch back a little ways and spun me around. I loved the songs that had tempo changes; Pat was great at leading me around and staying in beat with the music. Twisting, bending, pointing my toes, swinging me around, bouncing on our feet, and swaying together, he created a beautiful masterpiece. He smiled at me and started to sing along for the first time, "she takes my breath away. She's got me calling everyday. I can't get enough. Could this be love?" I smiled at him as he spun me around and crossed my arms in front of my body as he pressed against my back. "Definitely love," he whispered as he kissed my shoulder.

"You have a good singing voice," I praised as I looked over my left shoulder and kissed his cheek. He met my lips with his and deepened the kiss. I fell back into him. "Distractions," I scowled. He grinned. "You can serenade me now! Not just me serenading you or you humming along with the radio! Babe, I'm so proud of you!" I giggled. He scooped me up and carried me to the couch. 

"I've just been applying your lessons," he whispered as he covered my body with his as he laid me back. I smiled and moved his hand to my chest. He smiled and traced my collar with his fingers, tucking them into the crevice my chest created as he licked my lips. "I can't get enough, 'Nettie."

"Then take me," I whispered, closing my eyes and shifting my hips. He smiled against my lips. He moved his hand down to my stomach and rubbed it tenderly. "Oh! Mr. Miller, don't tease me. Just take me," I begged. He laughed and rubbed his nose against mine.

"Later," he whispered. I pouted and ran my fingers through his hair. "You didn't finish your dinner. The boys don't get dessert if the didn't finish their dinner, why should I let you? I mean that's what you want, right? Exclusive dessert," he teased. I smiled and pressed my lips against his. He wrapped both arms around my back and deepened the kiss. I sighed and closed my eyes. "Your soup is in the fridge if you feel hungry later," he murmured. I nodded as he rested his head on my shoulder and turned towards the tv. I looked as well. "I'll be back, love. I have to turn off the music," he murmured and gave me another kiss. 

"No tv. Just music is fine," I whispered holding onto him. He smiled and rested back on my shoulder. "Pat, we have to go, don't we?"

"Only if you want to, Annette," he replied. I leaned against his head and closed my eyes.

"You hardly call me that any more. Is something wrong?" I murmured.

"Not at all, beautiful," he replied. He leaned back and met my eye. "It's just because I'm concerned about you. You're hurting again and I can't do anything about it." I gave him a weak smile.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as tears welled in my eyes.

"Shhh! You're fine, doll," Pat exclaimed rubbing my eyes. "I'm right here. I'll always be here. You don't have to work through this alone," he promised. I nodded and closed my eyes, pulling him back down to me. He kissed my cheek and snuggled into me. He let me cry as he just held me. When his phone beeped due to low battery, he moved off me. I sat up and dried my eyes. He came back over and snuggled beside me. "You're beautiful, Mama," he whispered. I blushed and looked down. He held onto my stomach and rubbed it tenderly.

"Care to find out for sure?" I whispered as I pulled away from him. He chuckled and I made my way down the hallway. I paused at the twins room and peeked in. Benny was curled up, laying on his stomach, and his butt up in the air. Jerry was sprawled out on his back, his stuffed giraffe in his mouth, and his left leg hanging off the bed. I moved in and tucked it back on his bed, removing his giraffe from his mouth, and tucking it into his arms. Then I rolled Benny to his side so he wouldn't wake up in a panic again because his legs went to sleep too. Pat was leaning against the door, grinning at me. I shook my finger at him as I walked past him into our bedroom. I used the bathroom, closing the door for a little bit of privacy. After I washed my hands, I moved back out to the bedroom and picked out some pajamas. Pat came up behind me and kissed my neck. 

"What did the test say?"

"Don't know. I'm getting ready for bed," I stated nonchalantly. He chuckled and helped me take my clothes off. "You're asking for trouble, aren't you?" He shook his head and retreated to the bed. I shook my head and quickly got dressed. Then I headed back into the bathroom and paced nervously before picking up the test. I grinned, threw it away, and leaned against the doorframe. Pat was in the same spot, looking at me in great anticipation. "Guess I'm calling the doctor tomorrow," I beamed. "You're going to be a father again." He smiled broadly and came over and picked me up, twirling me around the room.

"And how do you feel about that, my sweet Sarah?" He asked.

"Excited. Nervous. Scared. Part of me is always going to feel like I'm going to let our kids down," I explained. He smiled, kissed me, and set me on the bed.

"Me too, but you're an exceptional person, doll. I've always thought so, but if you don't believe me, ask any of the kids who know you. You have six nieces and nephews, ten if you count Renae's kids, who absolutely adore you. You are great with every child that passes through Sunny Kidz Place. You are an exceptional mother; Benjamin and Jeremiah learn lots from you. You make mistakes but they don't hold against you. You admit when you make a mistake and ask for help. Our children shower you with kisses and love. That tells me you're doing something right," he murmured. He put his hand on my belly again, "and this little one will be just as lucky with you as their mom."

"Don't you dare leave yourself out of that picture, Daddy," I ordered. He smiled.

"Never. I love being a father. I'm excited about this baby. And yes, I'm going to make you take it easy again," he teased, gently pushing me back onto the bed. I smiled, moved up to the top of the bed, and snuggled into the pillows. He kissed my cheek and covered me up with the blanket. "I'll be back soon. Josh said he wanted to chat after work. Only if that's okay with you?" I nodded. He was silly to think it wouldn't be alright. I snuggled under the blanket and closed my eyes. "It explains a lot, love." I giggled and met his eye. "You are usually on top of that whole female process thing, it didn't cross my mind until you told me the strawberries tasted off. I've noticed you've been tired a lot more, but I thought you were stressed at work. Then I got thinking about it; you haven't sent me to the store for feminine product lately either. So either you were buying them or," he trailed off. I nodded and smiled. He kissed my cheek again. "I'm having Jess schedule you a girl's day. You need to relax. Love you."

"Love you too, Benji. I prefer your help in relaxing, but it'll be fun to go to the spa with my sister," I whispered. Jess would love it, and if Pat requested it, I wouldn't be able to back out of it. I'm sure she would also go overboard, as was her nature. I sighed and looked at the digital clock; I had woken Pat up too many times trying to turn on the light on his watch, so finally, I just bought a new clock and set it up on his dresser since the old one from his room went caput shortly after we started dating. It took me five years to buy a new one; I just didn't see the need to spend money on something that we could live without. I looked back at my husband and rubbed his cheek. "Josh gets off in five minutes. You should go. I'm just going to sleep. Love you, Mr. Miller."

"I love you too, Mrs. Miller. I'll be home within an hour. I'll try not to wake you when I come to bed. Sleep well, love," he whispered. I nodded as he kissed my forehead and left, turning the light off and shutting the door. I closed my eyes again and drifted off to sleep. I woke up at three and sighed. Pat rolled over and draped his arm around me. I shifted so I could look at him. The moonlight provided little light, but he was sleeping soundly.

"You're too good for me, but I don't want anyone else," I whispered. I saw a smirk on his lip as he snuggled in closer. I pried his arms away so I could use the bathroom. I came back in quietly and climbed back into bed. I kissed his cheek and snuggled into him, his arms wrapping around me automatically. I smiled and closed my eyes again. I woke up to the smell of bacon and felt nauseated. "Oh! Come on!" I complained as I ran to the bathroom and heaved into the toilet. I sighed, cleaned up the bathroom, and took a shower. Pat was waiting for me when I emerged from the bathroom. I dried off, put on my undergarments on and threw the towel at Pat as he looked at me longingly. "First this baby takes away my strawberries, now the smell of bacon, and all you do is sit there look at me like a piece of meat," I grumbled as I searched through the closet. Pat smiled at me in the mirror as he shook his head. "Where are the boys?"

"Boys just woke up; I gave them some food and came to check on you. You're not a piece of meat, doll. I was just admiring your beauty. You absolutely gorgeous, breathtaking, and still mine; it blows my mind. You haven't left me. I'm the luckiest man alive. Are you up for an adventure today, doll?" He asked kindly. I sighed and nodded as I put on a pair of leggings and a tunic. He came up behind me, kissed my shoulder, and traced my arm as he whispered, "you are so beautiful. How'd I get so lucky?"

"You were my friend first. Then you offered your home and your protection; never once making me feel uncomfortable. You talked to me before admitting your feelings - huge in my book," I murmured, turning around to face him. "And you let me kiss you. I told you to start off small with your girl, you didn't do that," I teased. He smiled and lowered his lips to mine.

"No. I had already given you the some chocolates and flowers at that time. I'm so glad you kissed me, because I really enjoy kissing you back," he murmured, hardly breaking lip contact. 

"Love you," I breathed as I turned my head and he kissed down my neck. I gasped when I saw the clock. I pushed him away. "Trouble. I slept past eight! If we're going on an adventure, I need to make arrangements for work," I explained hastily, going into the bathroom to quickly brush my hair. He chuckled until I emerged again. Frustrated, I just pulled my hair into a french twist and called it good.

"You needed some rest. I cooked breakfast. Fed the boys," he paused and tilted his head. "Speaking of, I think they're causing problems, they're too quiet." I giggled and threaded my fingers with his as we walked through the house. "Josh helped me plan everything. Love up on those boys, they're going to Uncle Josh's house later. We're going to Helena." I inhaled sharply and leaned against the wall. Pat looked around the corner before standing by me and rubbing my jaw. "They're still eating. Doll, I had Destiny come in yesterday too. Heather said that was your other option; Claire took some lessons from them. When I left, you were up to 15 kids, not counting ours. Heather sat down with me in at the counter and rearranged the whole schedule this week. I hired Claire and put her on the schedule too. You have the week off, doll. I don't want any arguments. I need you to take it easy; you've been stressing out a lot lately," he explained kindly.

"Claire just had to fill out an application so I could put her on the payroll. I'll make sure to make her a name badge. Thank you, darling," I whispered. He nodded. "A week off?" I bit my lip as I met his eye. 

"No arguing," he repeated. I sighed as he stroked my lips tenderly until I released my lip. "I want you to take some time and rest. Like I said, you're awfully tense lately, especially now. The boys can go play. I'm not leaving your side today, tomorrow, or Thursday," he vowed as he pressed his lips against mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"No. I'm not leaving your side ever. Unless we're at work," I countered. "I love you too much. Thank you." He grinned. 

"Come on. You need to find something to eat," he ordered as he kissed my temple. "I'll put the bacon away. I'm sorry this pregnancy is a little harder this time." I smiled up at him. "I also set up an appointment today at 11 for you," he whispered as he rubbed my belly. "We're going to be parents again," he giggled. I grinned and moved to the kitchen and held back a snicker. Pat rounded the corner and gasped. "AH! Boys, you got your mother's knack of making messes," he chided playfully. I giggled as they ran over to me and hid behind my legs. I picked them up and set them on the breakfast nook and began wiping the powder off their faces.

"What did you two get into?" I asked with a smile as I smelled it. "Pancake powder! Bet Daddy's just loving that," I giggled. Pat handed me a wet rag and I continued to wash them up. "Alright, Jeremiah, you're all clean. Will you go help Daddy clean up?" Jerry giggled as I helped him down. Pat was sweeping up the powder off the floor. I winked at him as he shook his head at me. Benny was wiggling so I made a game out of cleaning him up, keeping him occupied while Jerry actually tried to help Pat. "You boys are good boys. I love you. All of you," I stated, meeting Pat's eye. He smiled at me. 

"Mama, I love you all my life!" Benny blurted out as he hugged me. I teared up and hugged him, unable to give him a proper reply. He had me beat; I couldn't top it. "Uhhh! Done. Mama, lef go!" He growled as he pushed on my chest. I looked down at him and smiled, kissing his temple. He giggled and wiggled down so he could go play. Pat scooped him and Jerry up.

"We are going to have another bath, boys," he ordered as he bounced them in his arms. "Mama's going to eat some pancakes and put her feet up." He looked pointedly at me as he continued, "and not clean." He raised an eyebrow until I nodded with a giggle. I moved around the kitchen and put two pancakes on a plate with half a scoop of scrambled eggs. Bacon sounded delicious, but I didn't want to get sick again. I pushed my plate across the breakfast nook and poured myself a glass of water. Then I packed up all the food and put it away in the fridge. I sat down and began to eat. Sounds of laughter and water splashing floated down the hallway. I smiled and jumped when I heard a knock on the door. Pat didn't seem to hear so I made my way to the door. I held my breath as I looked out the peephole. I opened the door and released my breath.

"Morning, Net!" Josh grinned. He held up a bag of m&ms. "I hear you're pregnant again." I giggled and let him in. He handed me the candy and kissed my cheek.

"Morning, Josh. Yes. Thank you. Is Rachel okay with you doing that? I mean, Pat's obviously got no qualms against it, but Rachel? I couldn't do that to her," I remarked, shutting the door behind him.

"Yep. She loves you and knows you and I would never do anything. If it's okay with you, we'll watch the boys over here. It's kid proof for starters and all their toys are here," he explained. I nodded and moved back to the breakfast nook. "Did I wake up before you?" He teased. I nodded again as I continued to eat. 

"How's Rach?"

"She's tired and ready not to be pregnant any more. Couple more months," he replied. He looked in the kitchen and laughed. "I see they're keeping Pat busy this morning. So having twins everything you hoped it to be?"

"And more. I wouldn't trade them for anything," I confessed with a smile as I took another bite. "There's more food in the fridge. You know, Pat's not a bad cook any more." Josh laughed. "Keep the bacon away. I'm done being sick." He nodded and dished up a plate for himself. I finished my plate and drank my water. Josh was leaning against the counter by the sink. I looked around the breakfast nook. Pat barely got the kitchen swept up, or he swept it up and Jerry created another mess. I picked up the broom and swept up again. Josh cleared his throat. "Not a word. Just because I'm with child doesn't make me useless. Shut up and don't tell Pat," I warned. Josh shook his head and kept eating as he smiled. I bent over and scooped it up, throwing it in the garbage. Josh pointed back to the breakfast nook stool as he grabbed a wet rag. "Fine," I conceded and sat down. I looked down the hall as another fit of giggles met my ear. "Ready for this craziness?"

"We can handle it. I won't be alone with them long. Rach will join me after her morning nap. We'll sleep in the exercise room. And fun will be kept to a minimum," he implied with a wink. I shook my head. "Seriously. She's not a fan of pregger sex."

"What's seth?" Jerry asked as he rounded the corner in just a diaper. Pat held Benny and shook his head. Josh looked like he was a deer caught in the headlights.

"Yes Uncle, Josh. Do tell the boys what is seth," Pat ordered with a hint of disgust as he set Benny on the counter and got him dressed. I giggled and watched as Josh tried to explain it. 

"Um. Well little dude. It's something. Um. Really. Uh. That's something that we shouldn't talk about it," Josh stammered. I picked up my son and met his eye, grabbing the other set of clothes Pat brought out and helped Jerry put his clothes on.

"It's nothing you have to worry about. Seth is a name for a boy," I told him as he popped his head through his shirt. He grinned.

"I see him?" Jerry asked excitedly. I shook my head and laughed.

"I don't know a Seth. Do you?" I asked Pat. He smiled.

"Seth was my good friend in school. He moved away a long time ago. He's like Uncle Tyler; we don't see him very much," Pat replied and glared at Josh. "Do your best to just let them be kids, or we'll let you continue with potty training. The boys love making messes," he warned. Josh nodded.

"Fair enough," he replied. I took Benny out of Pat's arms and we walked over to the couch with both boys fully dressed in my arms as Pat and Josh talked quietly in the kitchen. I read my boys stories, counted fingers and toes, and kissed their cheeks. Josh came over and joined us. "Hey, little daredevils! So do you want to hang out with me today?" Both boys climbed down and tackled Josh. I stood up and snuggled into Pat's arms and we watched them interact. 

"You know I love you, right?" I whispered. He kissed my shoulder.

"Not as much as I love you," he replied. "Kiss them good-bye. I have a bag ready for you. It's in the car already." I turned into him. 

"You're amazing. Thank you," I whispered. I kissed his jaw and turned back around, picking up the boy closest to me. "Hey, Benny!" I kissed his cheek. "I love you, dumpling. Mommy and Daddy are going bye-bye for a little bit. Uncle Josh is going to play with you," I told him as I bounced him in my arms, laughing as he did. "Will you be a good boy?" He nodded. I rubbed my nose against his and put him down. Then I chased his brother around until I could pick him up. With Jerry, I bounced him as I walked back to Pat's side. "Hey, bud! Love you! Did you hear what Mama told brother?"

"Use go bye-bye?" Jerry asked. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Yes. We're going bye-bye," I confirmed. He giggled.

"Yay! La' up!" He wiggled out of my arms. I picked him up again.

"Sorry, pumpkin. Mommy and Daddy will load up. You're staying with Uncle Josh," I explained. His eyes started to fill up with tears. 

"So much like your mother, sweet little boy," Pat mused as he wiped Jerry's eyes. He took him out my arms and bounced him and rubbed his back. "Mama hates leaving those she loves too," he whispered. I smiled and looked down at Josh and Benny; they were wrestling again. So I paid attention to what Pat was saying to Jerry. "We'll come back, buddy. You're going to have lots of fun with Uncle Josh and Aunt Rachel," Pat was cooing into Jerry's ear. Jerry was sniffling and sucking on his thumb as he looked at me. I smiled and pulled his hand away from his mouth; he had stopped sucking his thumb last year, but when he got worked up, it was his form of comfort if I wasn't holding him. I kissed his hand and smiled. He smiled at me and waved. "Look, Josh is playing with your brother. Doesn't that look fun?" Pat asked. Jerry nodded. Pat put him on the ground and he went to help his brother. Pat held my hand and whispered in my ear. "See, you do make an impact on them. He's got your carrying nature and desire to be strong for others. Benny has your quirky attitude and loves creating fun. You're remarkable." I jabbed his side.

"And where is the remorseful, pathetic, recluse come into play?" I teased. He kissed my cheek.

"Hopefully, never again. So much loss, pain, and sorrow was replaced with joy, love, and laughter. We can teach them how to have balance together. You need balance too, doll. Remember when you asked me how anyone could survive with so much anger?" He asked as he led me to the door. "See ya, Josh," Pat murmured softly. Josh acknowledged us with a small nod and kept the twins occupied so they didn't see us leaving. I waited to respond until after the door was shut and we were loaded up in the car.

"I do remember that night. It was my first near-breakdown. It was also the day I saw you: in a tux, making messes, holding my growing belly. I stopped it before I saw you growing old with a heart monitor beeping it's last heartbeat as you squeezed my hand one final time. I can't bear the thought of saying good-bye to you, even if it's just imaginary. You have me hooked, darling. That was the day I was able to connect the dots that I had fallen in love with you and it terrified me. I begged Jess to tell me it wasn't real. Well maybe not really; she didn't catch what I signed," I recalled. He kissed my cheek as he buckled me up. I giggled and he started the car.

"It's a day I'll never forget either; it's the day you responded to me when no one else could calm you down and you nearly bit my finger. I should have let eat that cookie dough, because then maybe I could have started dating you earlier; it's my one regret that I waited so long but I have you forever and you can't get rid of me. I loved almost every second of that night. It was also the night you had the option to sleep with anyone and you chose me. I love that I can still make you blush and giggle with little things. I love that you still choose to be in my arms," he replied tenderly as he stroked my cheek. "I didn't know that last part with you though," he whispered. "Why didn't you want it to be real, doll?" I sighed and looked down. Pat tugged on my chin gently and I looked back at him. I pulled his hand down and held it while he held my gaze. "Don't feel guilty. I'm just curious, maybe a little hurt that you didn't want to give into the emotion. I never would have hurt you."

"I know that. I didn't want my love for you to be real because you were so kind and wonderful and you gushed over a girl without actually telling me her name. I would rather hurt myself than stand in your way of your happiness or mess up your chances with the girl you described. I never had an inkling that you were infatuated with me. I was just thinking that you were one of the best friends I ever could have hoped for. I was thankful you were so willing to help out; never did I consider I could ever be more to you. So anyways, Noah told me in the grass that night that I deserved to be happy too. He asked me to wait it out a week and if it was still too much for me to stick around, he would move me away," I explained as I recollected that night. I looked down at our clasped hands and rubbed his thumb. "Then Dad came back, six days later." I looked over at him and smirked. "I felt guilty forcing you to kiss me like that, but I needed the promise to be real." He laughed. 

"It's very real; he will never hurt you like that again," Pat remarked before he leaned over and kissed me again. I deepened the kiss and he pulled back and bopped my nose. "I would love to do that all day, but we need to get going. I will always care for you. You will never see another monster. Well aside from the room that sleeps next to you every night," he murmured as he kissed my hand and rubbed my fingers and finally made the car move as we started our adventure. "I'm so intoxicated by you, darling." I blushed and looked down.

"I miss your truck," I giggled, looking at the empty space between us. He squeezed my hand affectionately. "You know, I've never seen the monster that you always claim to be. You're always affectionate, protective, loving, kind, and patient," I stated warmly as I looked up at him. He smiled.

"You're looking too closely at me then," he teased. I laughed and looked out the window. "I've never had a reason to be anything but that with you. Tell me what's bothering you," he begged. I met his eye again and sighed as I turned his head to the road. "Uh! But I like the view better to my right," he pouted playfully. I giggled.

"You could gaze more at me longer if you let me drive," I teased. He met my eye and winked before looking at the road again. 

"You get distracted too easily and staring at you too long would drive me crazy. Eventually, I'd have to touch you and I wouldn't stop. Which would cause you to get in an accident," he implied. "Please stop avoiding the issue and tell me what's going on, doll. Something is bugging you."

"How is this good for me? Walking into the lion's den? I fear we'll be taking two steps or more back," I confessed. He sighed and looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"You'll never forgive yourself if he dies on the operating table," he uttered the truth. I nodded and looked down. "You don't have to leave my side or touch him. Darling, if you wanted to only look at him through a window and leave him a note, you can, but you need to do this." I smiled and leaned over. He laughed. "You're absolutely correct, beautiful. I miss the truck too. You're so far away, and this is the first time in three years that we've truly been alone." I giggled and sat up. He moved his our hands to my lap. The rest of the journey to the Missoula clinic passed quickly. Baby was doing well, and I was actually a little further along than I thought, 14 weeks instead of the 11 I had calculated; which meant that my last period was just spotting. They were estimating the arrival in mid December. I looked at Pat and grinned. He could have a birthday pal. He stroked my cheek tenderly as he looked at the screen. "Last time we were surprised with shadow twins. The placenta was attached to both of them but never showed up. Any surprises this time?" He asked the technician. The technician spent twenty minutes looking carefully at the placenta; only one umbilical cord was visible. "Think you can handle one kid at a time?" Pat teased when we got back in the car. I nodded.

"You?"

"Piece of cake," he replied as he kissed my hand. We got a quick lunch and headed onto Helena. We checked into a hotel room before going to the hospital. I paced the room nervously; insisting we settled into the hotel room first. "Doll," Pat crooned. I looked over at him. He was sprawled diagonally across the bed, resting on his hand as his elbow propped him up. "Come here," he coaxed. I moved to the edge of the bed and sat in front of him. He began rubbing between my shoulder blades. I looked over my right shoulder at him and smiled weakly. "You're tense, love. Can I help you relax?" I leaned over and kissed him. He rolled to his back, pulling me with him. I closed my eyes and kissed up his jaw. He reached his hands under my shirt. "Stop me, because I'm on the edge," he breathed. I shook my head and moved back to his lips, nibbling them softly, while I shifted my hips and ground against his. He moaned in delight and took my shirt off. Then he moved his hands to my hips. I wrapped my arms around his neck as he began kissing down my chest. I tilted my head back and sighed as he began sucking on my collarbone.

"Pat!" I breathed. "Take control," I ordered as I rolled over. He smiled and followed after taking off his shirt, grinding his hips against mine again. I unhooked my bra and smiled as his lips caressed my breasts. I ran my fingers through his hair as his hands fingered my pants. I nodded and traced his leg with my left foot. He lifted my hips and slowly lowered my pants, taking them completely off my right foot as he held the leg with his left arm. His right hand fondled the inside of my thighs. I closed my eyes and shuddered beneath his touch. He pulled back, so I pulled him closer. "Don't you dare stop," I ordered. He smiled and moved his hand closer to my pelvic region. "Love you! Do what you want; I'm not stopping you. Just please," I whispered as I tilted my head back in satisfaction, lowering my left leg as he put his fingers inside me and bit my ear. "Ah! Ah! Pat," I breathed, trying to turn his head so I could kiss him.

"M'lady," he whispered as he shifted his hand inside me and tickled my inner core. I pulled my left leg up again, disrobing completely. "Give the command." My hips shifted and I arched my back, trying to move my arms down his back. Pat crashed his lips against mine. "Say it," he demanded. I met his eye and bit my lip.

"Please," I begged. 

"Come on, you can do better than that," he teased. "Get dirty, baby." He dropped my right leg and flicked my breast. 

"Fornicate with me!" I breathed as I arched my back. He chuckled and shook his head kissing up my neck. "AH!" I pushed him back and met his eye.

"Say it, baby," he whispered as his fingers picked up momentum and I let out another sigh. He grinned. 

"You're a bad man, Mr. Miller! You know I don't like sa- ahh! Okay. F**k me! Please! F**k me," I pleaded, gasping for air.

"That's my girl! I love it when you boss me around like that!" He exclaimed as he finally took his pants off and rubbed his growing shaft against my leg. I squeezed his neck in anticipation. He moved his right hand out to replace it with his fully erect member. I inhaled sharply and let him have his way with me. "Ride it out, doll," he ordered as I tried to put a cap on the euphoria. He rubbed my back as he moved faster. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back. "Sarah, let me see those gems," he begged. I opened my eyes, he smiled, and re-positioned me, bringing my legs up by his shoulder, crossing my ankles. I closed my eyes as he pushed himself deeper. I searched for his hand. He gave it to me and clasped my hand as I tried to postpone the climax as long as possible. "Sarah," he rebuked. I opened my eyes and met his. "Ride it out," he repeated. I smiled and gave him all control. He massaged my breasts, kissed my hand, and carried me through to a full climax as I breathed his name. I smiled at him and reached for his neck. He was out of reach.

"Your turn," I whispered, trying to roll over.

"Stop," he ordered. I met his eye and he smiled, lowering my legs and lowering his body on top of mine again. He slowed his thrusting as he kissed along my jaw. I rubbed his back and pecked soft kisses across his shoulders. I moved to his ear and began nibbling on it. "Woman!" He breathed. I grinned but kept working on him. He brought his left hand to my throat and pressed down gently. I pulled back and stared at him as he caused my back to arch and another sigh to pass my lips. His hand moved up to my jaw as he pressed his lips against mine. He stopped thrusting, twitched inside me, and breathed on my neck. "You are intense," he whispered. I giggled and kissed his cheek.

"You wouldn't let me do any work," I pouted. He lifted up and gazed tenderly at me, moving his right hand down my sweaty body.

"Why should I?" He inquired tenderly, resting his hand on my stomach. "You're my wife, a beautiful soul, and already working so hard." I blushed and looked down. He rested his left hand on my cheek. He lifted my jaw so I could look at him. "You are beautiful and glowing: with love and motherhood. With the boys around, I don't get many chances to look at you like this anymore; it's always so rushed. You are very powerful when I let you work and it's always over too soon. I love spending time with you. I love hearing you moan and whisper my name. I love seeing your eyes roll back in your head in satisfaction. Most of all, I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered. "This was delightful. I missed you. You're right; this is better," I giggled. He grinned. I rubbed his chest, pulling my hand back slightly as I whisked some sweat away. "We're a little grody right now, and it's glorious." He laughed, kissing my nose. 

"Shower with me then," he begged. I stuck my lip out. "I know. You already did that today, but at least you're nice and relaxed now. I think you melted into the bed, doll." I giggled and leaned into him, kissing his heart cavity. I nodded and he pulled me into the bathroom. He turned on the water and began filling up the tub. "I know you have issues with the tub and pool, but your face doesn't have to get wet at all. I'll be right there beside you. I just want to hold you and don't want you to collapse. Or would you rather shower? I'll behave either way." I smiled at him and pushed him onto the counter. He leaned against it and I began taking off his leg, rubbing his stub tenderly. He smiled at me and pulled me into his arms. "You sure?" I nodded. He grinned we made our way over to the tub. He sat down on the edge and climbed in first. He opened his arms and I joined him. He poured water down my chest as he looked down on me. I smiled and leaned against him. He pulled out some pomegranate body wash and began washing my body. I used my foot and turned of the faucet as the tub was finally full enough. He pushed me forward, washed my back, and rinsed it. He tugged on the hairpin and made my fall to the middle of my back. I smiled and shivered as he brought his hands under my hair and rubbed my shoulders. "Love you, my radiant Sarah," he whispered as he kissed my shoulder. I leaned back and looked at him.

"Love you, my mighty shield. Do you want me to wash you now?" He shook his head and caressed all over my body.

"I'm happy just holding you," he confessed. He winked at me. "Plus, I used some of your soap when I washed your back." I giggled and kissed his jaw. We canoodled until the water started turning cold. Then I couldn't take it anymore and got out, drying off. I laid a towel on the ground and brought another one over for him. After we were dressed, he looked sadly at me. "Can we do the bitter thing sooner rather than later? I don't want you to worry about it too much," he begged. I bit my lip and nodded; I wanted to be done with it too. He insisted on brushing my hair, putting it in a ponytail as I sat in front of him. Finally ready to go, I paced the room one more time and tucked myself under his arm. He smiled, led me out to the car, and held my hand as he drove us to the hospital. I wasn't surprised Annabelle was there too. She was just headed into the cafeteria and froze when she saw us. Pat tucked me behind him slightly as we looked at her. "Annabelle," Pat greeted politely.

"Dick," she huffed and met my eye. "B***h."

"I've been called worse; like your sister," I retorted. She scowled. I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry. We'll be gone before you're done with dinner."

"Whatever. Daddy's sleeping. He really doesn't need to see you," she smirked. 

"What's with the 'Daddy' crap? You aren't five anymore; it's a bit childish," I snapped and pushed Pat so we could keep moving. "You told me to grow up yesterday; do you ever take your own advice?"

"I don't need advice from you. You lying, rebellious-" Annabelle started to snarl. 

"No, but you do need manners," Pat interrupted as he quickly led me away. I leaned into him and sighed as we turned the corner. "I'm sorry, doll," he whispered and embraced me. He lifted my chin. "Are you alright? You're right, her words are venomous and toxic. I don't want to see you get hurt ever again in any sense of the manner." I nodded and pursed my lips.

"She's immature, insecure, and devastated that I'm happy and she's not. Just words, darling. They mean nothing to me," I explained. He smiled and kissed my cheek. "I only have to be strong for you, our boys, and myself. She won't break me; it'll take a lot more than that," I told him with a smile. He rubbed my cheek tenderly.

"That's my girl," he praised and led me through the hospital with his arm behind my back, holding onto my left hip. We stood outside of room 721 for a minute or two before I finally found the courage to enter the room. I grabbed his hand and leaned into him as we entered the room. Dad had both legs braced in the air and was working on feeding himself some soup. "Sir," Pat greeted, making Dad look up. He looked shocked. "We're here as requested. What do you want?"'

"How about a hug from my daughter?" 

"Annabelle's in the cafeteria. You can get a hug from her when she comes back. After all, she's the only child you have left," I replied coldly. Pat and I were against the wall, as far away from him as possible. He glared at me.

"That's a way to greet the man who raised you, Sarah," he snapped.

"It's Annette. I've been Annette longer than I've been Sarah with you. And you didn't raise me; I've been taking care of myself for years. You killed me ten years ago," I replied softly, returning his fierce gaze. I looked up at Pat and took a deep breath then smiled. I turned my attention back to my dad as the person in the bed next to him -behind the curtain- coughed. "Oh no! They did give you a roommate. How awful, for them," I thought remorsefully. "I wish you the best on your surgeries. You have my forgiveness, even though you don't deserve it; I don't want an apology. We're leaving. I won't see you again. I will file another restraining order if I have to. If you die, I'll come pay my respects. Otherwise, I don't care what happens in your life and you shouldn't care anymore on what happens in mine. Have some respect for your neighbor, be nice to your nurses, and take your pain medication. That's all I have for you," I told him honestly. I looked up at my husband and smiled as he gazed tenderly upon me. "Let's go, darling. There's nothing here for us." He nodded.

"Isn't that a bit harsh?" Dad replied icily. I shook my head and pushed Pat. He guided me towards the door. Dad stopped us. "What about my grandsons?" Pat turned and glared at him.

"Ask Annabelle when she'll give you som-" Pat began.

"-it'll be a miracle if she gets someone to lay with her at all," Dad interrupted, his voice rising. Pat shook his head.

"That's not our problem sir; she wants to be just like you. Like Annette said, she died years ago. What was the story? It would be best if her body showed up in the river? Or if she came home to you, that's where you'd put her? You have no claim as her father or as a grandfather to our children," Pat spoke harshly. I squeezed his hand and his expression softened some, but he continued to glare at my dad. He squeezed my hand back and rubbed my thumb carefully. I kissed his cheek and draped his arm over my back.

"When you were in the hospital, I gave you some attention," Dad accused. I sighed and looked over him.

"No, sir, you didn't," I spat. I took another calming breathing and continued in a calmer tone. "All you did then was cause me more pain and create blood clots. I came here to see you as requested; I'm sorry you're in pain. I know it sucks. Look at the bright side, you're alive. You're also forgiven for being a horrible father. I don't even have an active case against you; it expired two or three years ago. We're done, sir. I'll apologize on your behalf to your neighbor. I'm sorry that you are stuck with such a negative and horrible roommate. This man who has been doing nothing but growling at me since I've been here has no respect and I'm truly sorry you have to listen to him. I wish I could say that you deserve more from me, but nobody owes you anything, Dad. You don't even deserve that title. I wish you the best. Good-bye forever," I remarked as I left the room. Dad thrashed in his bed. Pat and I could hear him yelling down the hall.

"Sarah! Don't you go! Get your a*s back here now! Sarah, you ungrateful-"

Pat quickly escorted me away from the building and looked at me as we paused outside the door. "Do you really think you've forgiven him?" He asked me tenderly. I smiled and kissed his jaw again. 

"Yeah. I'm sure I'll always have resentment towards him, but I really forgave him. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder," I told him honestly. He kissed down my jaw. "Thank you for helping me do this."

"You're still the most amazing person I have ever met," he murmured. I giggled and held onto him, giving him small pecks down his neck. He kissed my temple then whispered, "I love you, 'Nettie." Suddenly, my hair was pulled and I was yanked out of his arms, falling to the ground. "Annabelle, no! Let go!" Pat ordered as he grabbed her wrists and made her let go. He helped me up and pushed me behind him. "What is your problem?"

"Just leave him screaming in there? Really?" She fumed. She slapped Pat trying to get to me, Pat stood up tall and crossed his arms, refusing to let her pass.

"How are you helping him then?" Pat accused. Annabelle looked shocked. "He cut ties with us 10 years ago. If he's still freaking out, then why aren't you helping him?"

"Why should you be happy? I heard that line about Dad thinking I'm never going to be or that I can ever be a mom," Annabelle snapped meeting my eye. "I'd be a great mother, care to see? I'd happily watch your brats."

"We never said you wouldn't be a good mother, but you aren't watching my children especially if you see them as brats," I told her kindly. She scowled.

"Then that'll be the first thing I take away from you, b***h," she snapped. Pat cleared his throat.

"I would love to see the case you have against us for that, Annabelle. Our kids are not leverage, nor will you ever get close to them. If anything happened to us, you wouldn't be the next of kin contacted," he warned. She just glared at me.

"Whatever, you f*****g b***h. Can't fight for yourself? Like I said, you should get back in there. Daddy needs his punching bag. You were best at that. You should just-"

"Enough!" Pat snapped pushing me further behind him. "She wasn't best at being a punching bag, she just didn't have a choice and he had no sense of decency. You've been sheltered and have yet to experience life. I'm happy that you joined the ROTC, but your blatant disregard for authority and compassion is scary. As of right now, you're a private. I had the rank of a corporal; ask any retired military, it doesn't leave. So shut up, grow up, and find some goddamn respect. If you happen to climb the ranks, you will still be hated and looked down upon. Change your attitude. Take a shower. Have pride in yourself. Annette's happy because she doesn't let negativity ruin her life. She finds joy in little things in life-"

"-I asked her. Not her glorified baby-sitter, civilian. You have no right to talk to me," Annabelle snapped. I put my hand on Pat's shoulder, moved to his side, and gave him a gentle push so I could see my sister better. He kept his hand on my hip, making sure half my body was covered by his.

"Pat's my husband. He has every right to speak up for me. I wish you the best too. Stop being so bitter and dwelling on that feeling - you're in control of your own happiness. I don't know what I did to cause you to hate me so much, but if you ever take a moment to look around you and see how much grief he's causing, maybe one day we can work on being friends. You're my sister so there's a part of me that's always going to love you. You know the saying blood's thicker than water?" She nodded so I continued, "well I believe it to be true. There may always be a part of me that wants to kill you, but if you need me there, I'll kill for you - not literally so don't ask me to go kill your enemies. You do have family and we care about you. What about Noah?"

"What about him? He's nobody. He keeps his family away from me as much as you do. You two keep spouting all this crap about love and devotion but then you cut your family out," she spat. A nurse came over and approached us, meeting Annabelle's eye.

"Actually no, they don't," she remarked softly; her voice was familiar. I studied her kind eyes, gray hair, and hunched shoulders.

"Mikayla?" I gasped. She smiled at me and I gave her a hug. "It's good to see you!" I pulled back and bit my lip. "Sorry. You probably don't remember me."

"Ms. Sunshine! You're a hard one to forget," she replied warmly, returning my hug. Pat came over and shook her hand before tucking me behind him again. Mikayla looked back at my sister. "Not once did she yell at you or that lunatic in that room. She even offered an apology to his neighbor, something I have yet to hear uttered out of your mouth. She didn't even yell at him when he came to visit her years ago. She has much more patience than even me. I don't know what happened exactly ten years ago, but I do know he disowned her first. She forgave him. Based on the way he was acting, abuse would be my guess. He doesn't deserve the forgiveness, but Ms. Sunshine was sincere with offering it. These two are protecting their family from evil forces like you or the man you call your father," Mikayla explained. Annabelle glared at her. 

"It's not that we don't care, Annabelle," Pat offered, in a kind and soft voice. "It just we hate to see people in pain. If you were forced to choose to walk barefoot down a corridor covered in broken bottles or a corridor covered in cotton balls, which would you choose?"

"That's dumb, cotton balls," she replied haughtily. Pat nodded.

"You and your father bring destruction with you and are like the corridor filled with broken glass. Can you really blame us for trying to avoid that?" He asked. She looked guilty and looked down.

"Annabelle, if you really have doubts about who has been lying to you, ask Dad about Serian. Or what your middle name was before it was Lynn," I commanded softly.

"I'll work on that. One day. Until then," she glared at me, "you're still a cowardly, lying-"

"Do you want me to knock you out with drugs too?" Mikayla threatened. Annabelle glared at her and moved back inside. Mikayla turned back around and embraced me again. 

"I'm sorry you had to put up with that," I told her sincerely. "Thank you for speaking up for us." She smiled at me and patted my cheek; I returned the smile.

"Ms. Sunshine, you're worth it. You were a delight to help a decade ago, even more so now. I didn't think I'd see you again. Life can't knock you down. You're an inspiration to everyone. All of us talked about you months later. Then I ran into Dr. Marshall after your four month post-op check up. That started a whole stream of praises to be sung about you - the sunbeam who didn't seem to acknowledge the pain. It could only be you. We had a picture hanging up in the break room of a sunshine. Janell wrote across the top 'sunshine is the best medicine.' You changed us. Everyone who came into contact with you was still talking about you, even two years ago when I left. I can never forget the look of peace on your face as you watched the sunrise. It shouldn't have been possible with your injuries," Mikayla gushed.

"You mean this one?" Pat asked showing her the picture I took that morning. She covered her mouth with her hand and nodded as tears started to fill her eyes. I smiled. "It's my favorite too. Annette's always stood out from the crowd with her compassion."

"Unfortunately, some hearts are too frozen to let her brilliant light through," Mikayla replied as she handed Pat back his phone. She looked at me and embraced me again. "I was in the room when you talked to him, focusing on the other patient. Trooper Gibson is not a pleasant man. It's hard to believe that you're related to that. That snobby sister of yours, I can see that." I giggled and looked down. I felt the color drain from my face as I held my stomach. 

"Mikayla, I'm pregnant. She just threw me down on the ground. Is there a way we can check on the baby before we leave? Make sure there was no trauma? I just want to be certain," I insisted. Pat looked down at me and back at Mikayla as he moved behind me and wrapped his hands around my waist. Mikayla gave us a small grin and led us to radiology.

"I need an ultrasound now," she demanded to the staff member. "No, she's not on the schedule. She was thrown down on the premises and is pregnant. We need to check on the baby." The staff member got on the phone and checked a few things.

"Room eight is open now. You have half an hour before the next appointment shows up," he told Mikayla. He looked over at me, "I hope everything's alright." I nodded and thanked him. Pat pulled out his wallet, gave the front desk guy my insurance card, and tipped him. "Mighty kind of you, sir. Thank you. Don't worry about the paperwork. This one is on us," he told us sincerely as he gave Pat back his money and the insurance card as Mikayla led us back. Once again, I was hooked up to another ultrasound machine. The baby was moving and the heartbeat was strong. The placenta was still attached to the uterine wall and it appeared that all was just fine. Pat and I sighed in relief as we looked at each other and grinned.

"What do we need to look for if there's any problems?" Pat asked, both of us turned our attention back to Mikayla.

"Your baby is cushioned pretty well in there. You seem to have extra amniotic fluid, so that's helpful," Mikayla stated as she began to clean up the goop on my stomach. "Annette, if you start experiencing pain, spotting, or you start feeling contractions, get to a hospital. I would say monitor movement too, but this one is still little so you may not feel any movement at all." I nodded and looked over at Pat with a smile. "Rest. Take it easy. Keep the lifting down to 15 pounds or less. Better safe than sorry," Mikayla ordered. I nodded and lowered my chin and Pat's smile grew wider. 

"Told you, doll. You're going to take it easy and let me take care of you," he remarked. I met his eye and smiled.

"No better person for the job," I confirmed. I sighed, "that means not picking up the boys." Pat nodded solemnly. I looked back at Mikayla. "Thank you again for your help. It's so nice to see you again," I gushed. She wrapped me up in a hug, pulling Pat in too.

"Take care, you guys!" She replied warmly. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a scrap piece of paper. "Would you please stay in touch with me?" She begged. I nodded. Pat pulled out his wallet and pulled out a family picture I didn't even know was there; it was from the boys' birthday party last month. He smiled at me and wrote on the back our names and the year we took that picture. "Oh! You have a lovely family, Annette!" Mikayla cried as she looked at it. Pat tucked her paper into his wallet; I would add her mailing address and phone number to my address book later. She led us out and gave me another hug as we said our farewells. Pat held onto my hand and took me to the car.

"So proud of you. Making friends wherever you go. How do you feel?" He asked as we buckled up.

"Sore. Pretty sure I bruised my tailbone; haven't done that in a while. Sorry," I told him. He smiled and grabbed my hand.

"You're fine and so is the baby. Let's get some dinner then go to bed. I'm sorry I made you face your demons again, doll," he whispered. I kissed his hand.

"I needed to. I feel better," I told him truthfully. "Holding grudges is terrible for the soul," I teased. "Especially when I haven't charged my panels in a while. Now the best way to charge my panels without the sunrise has to do with you, me, and a bed." He chuckled and pulled my hand over to his lips.

"I look forward to it, Sarah. I'll take care of you," he promised. I grinned, looked in the backseat, and sighed. "Tell me, doll." 

"We're going to have to upgrade again, dear. Our cars won't hold an infant seat and two boosters with harnesses," I said morosely. I yawned and stretched my arms as I looked forward again. Pat grabbed hand when I was done as he pulled into a restaurant for dinner.

"We eat then you rest," he ordered. I put my hands up in defeat as I let him lead me in. We got a booth where we could snuggle together. "You look stunning," he whispered in my ear after we ordered. I blushed and shook my head. "I mean it, doll. You look beautiful. No, you are beautiful; inside and out. You were remarkable with your dad. Another door shut. I think it would be wise to file for another restraining order - against your sister." I shrugged my shoulders.

"She just needs to grow up. For the most part she leaves us alone. Are you okay?" I inquired as I rubbed his cheek, remembering she slapped him.

"She's got a lot of anger, but doesn't know how to channel it. The slap stung but didn't hurt. I'm fine," he murmured with a smirk. "It surprised me more than anything, but she wasn't going to get past me to get to you. My porcelain doll," he whispered. "You're far too precious to me."

"I've heard this argument before," I teased as I looked over my right shoulder and kissed him. He grinned but didn't disappoint me as he deepened the kiss. "I hate seeing you get hurt too, you know," I whispered. He kissed me again and rubbed my belly.

"But it's not just you any more," he whispered. I nodded. "I know you hate seeing me get hurt, but really, doll, I'm fine. I can handle my own. Besides, did you see how she cowered when I brought up my rank?" I giggled and nodded. He leaned in and kissed me passionately. "I know you can handle your own too, but you don't need to get hurt if I can prevent it." I laughed and faced forward again, putting my left hand on his as he rubbed my belly. I put my right hand across his lap, resting it on his right leg. He covered my hand with his and breathed in my ear, "you are a very dangerous woman. I'll take care of you again later." I grinned and was thankful that our waitress chose to come at that moment with our food.

"I didn't even try anything," I retorted as I sat up and kissed his cheek. He grinned.

"I was in the middle of making you a promise. Like I was saying, I'll happily take care of you again later. Sealed," he murmured and we dug into our food.

Dad made it through the surgery just fine, but unfortunately, too many complications arose afterwards, sending him back for another surgery. He passed away the following Monday. I reached out to my sister and gave her my number at his funeral. Two or three times a week, I would send her a text to let her know I was thinking of her and loved her; she never returned one. Annabelle retreated into deep depression. I tried to talk to her more, calling her twice a week and texting her once a day. On her birthday, I sent her several text messages wishing her a wonderful and blessed birthday, and telling her that I cared deeply about her; I never got a response back. On Wednesday, September 28, a week after her birthday, I sent her another good morning text. Two hours later, she called me while I was at work. I took the call in the back room and greeted my sister politely; I wanted to make sure if she wanted to talk that I gave her my full attention. I was proud that for the first time, we would be able to talk over the phone. I waited for a response before greeting her again; only it was the roommate who had found her dead that was on the other line. Pat, Mom, myself, her roommate, and two people from the ROTC program were the only ones who showed up to her funeral. Pat held me after the funeral. "Don't," he warned. I looked up at him. "Don't you dare feel guilty. You reached out to her. It's not your fault she didn't return it."

"I know," I whispered around a sigh. I was more concerned that I wasn't crying and I should have been. "So bitter and lonely. You went through it but you still pressed on. Six months was your grieving period before you opened up again to anyone. She made it three. Do you think she might have had a chance?" He rubbed my back and kissed my head.

"I don't know, doll. She was so lost. She couldn't find another thing to hold onto to give her hope. I had Mom's restaurant that she loved. I had Linda to look out for me. You were there for Annabelle, but she moved across the state; refusing to see you. You did nothing wrong," Pat insisted. I nodded. Noah surprised us and was waiting outside the funeral home as we made our departure. I gave him a hug and Pat shook his hand. "Glad you could make it," Pat said warmly. Noah nodded and looked down.

"Wish I could say it wasn't a big loss, but she was my sister," Noah sighed. He rubbed my protruding belly. "How's the baby, 'Nettie?"

"Baby's doing just fine. Jeremiah and Benjamin are hanging out with Josh, Rachel, and Isabella. They're getting big brother training now. So that's helpful," I replied warmly. He hugged my shoulders. "Annabelle cut us out of her life; we're not responsible," I signed. Noah reached down and squeezed my hand. 

"I know. Still," he sighed. "I took the bus; it's why I was late. Is there any chance I can catch a ride home with you two?" Noah asked.

"Of course," Pat replied, holding my other hand. "We'd love the company." I slid into the backseat and they rode up front, conversing between them. Noah looked back and squeezed my knee.

"Tyler said he's coming home for Christmas," he replied. I nodded. Pat grinned.

"We have three bedrooms we can share. The baby will be in our room anyways," he offered. I smiled. Josh had done a good job with our house expansion; and it only took him a month and a half with help. I now had a second level with two more bedrooms and another bathroom. He had put the stairway at the end of the hallway, cutting into my gym a little bit. We also moved the laundry closet upstairs and I was given a whole laundry room with a counter to fold the clothes on. The old laundry closet I turned into a kids fort area. Pat put some shelves in it and the bottom portion we covered with curtains so the boys could hide behind it. We definitely had the room now to house family. Noah grinned.

"We have a few couches. I'm sure CJ and Flynn could bunk together; those two would talk for hours on end in the video chat if we let them. Ren has claimed your galaxy and makes Lizzie sleep in the main area downstairs. I'm not too sure what Felix and Fletcher would prefer. When do you guys talk to Tyler next?" Noah inquired. 

"Sunday, after lunch, before naps is when we talk to them. However, seeing as that's tomorrow, guess that's when we're talking to him next," I replied. "We're too busy the rest of the week." Noah nodded. The baby moved and I gasped, squeezing my legs together. "Pat, we need to stop. I have to pee!" He chuckled and pulled off in Ovando, MT. I quickly did what I needed to do as the baby kicked me repeatedly. I waddled my way back outside and leaned against the wall until the kicking slowed down, taking slow deep breaths, and rubbing my swollen abdomen. "Come on, baby. You need to stop hurting Mama. Let me walk back to Daddy," I muttered under my breath. I looked like I had a basketball attached to my front now; I was definitely carrying this baby in the front, the twins sat back much further. "Help!" I whispered looking towards the parking lot; I couldn't see our car. I looked back down at my baby. "Stop, it's not time," I begged as a tear fell. A woman herding kids -about eight or nine years old- into the building took one look at me and rushed to my side.

"When are you due?"

"December 14th. It's only October 1st. Too early. 29 weeks," I whispered and pointed to the parking lot. "My husband or brother." She nodded and sent one of her kids back that direction.

"It's probably the men by the silver car. Nobody else was by their car, hun. Run. Get help," she ordered. "May I?" She asked pointing to my belly. I nodded and lowered my hands. She put both hands alongside my bump and began rapid firing questions at me. "Not contractions, but obviously causing pain?" I nodded again as I blinked back another tear. "Do you smoke?" I shook my head. "Do you drink?" Again, I shook my head. "Blurry vision?" I nodded. "Hard to breathe?" I nodded as Pat came running around the corner, Noah on his heels. 

"Doll?" Pat asked, moving to my side. I held onto his hand and closed my eyes.

"Take her to the hospital now. The baby's moving around a bunch making it difficult for her to move or breathe," the mother ordered as she pulled her child into an embrace. "She'll collapse if she moves away on her own. Have them check everything: her pulse, blood sugar, heart rate, the baby's heartbeat, and whether the umbilical cord is wrapped around the neck. I've seen this before and it's not good. It'll get worse before it gets better. I don't mean to scare you, but I almost lost my boy here for that reason. Hospital. Now." Pat nodded and scooped me up after tossing his keys to Noah. He ran ahead and pulled the car up closer. "If you can, go to the bigger cities. Lincoln is the closest town, but they're smaller and the hospital may not be equipped," she hollered after us. I looked up at Pat and finally began to cry. He climbed in the backseat with me and rubbed my arm. 

"Shh, doll. Calm down," he whispered. I could hear the panic in his voice too. I looked at Noah through the mirror. His lips were pursed together. Pat reached around me and rubbed my belly. "Hey, baby," he crooned; once again, we had chosen not to find out the gender. "You're safe and loved. We're going to get it checked out. Hang in there, little one." I sobbed and held onto my stomach; I couldn't lose my baby. Pat held onto me snuggly. "You're stressed, Sarah. Calm down," he begged. I nodded trying to do just that. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I copied him as I leaned into him.

"I love you and your big lungs," I whispered. He kissed my neck and took another deep breath. I looked over my shoulder at him. "Tell me the baby will be alright. Tell me we won't lose our baby," I begged. Pat pulled me in closer as a tear fell. 

"You're past the 26 week mark; the baby can survive if you have to go into premature labor. Seven months, it's still early though. Doll, I honestly don't know," he whispered, his voice cracking. "You're so stressed and emotional. We have to take care of you too."

"No! Baby first," I demanded pulling away from his arms. He sighed and pulled me back.

"Sarah, we can't care for the baby if you don't let us care for you. I'm glad you're selfless, but this isn't good for either of you," he whispered. He looked at his watch. "Baby's still moving. I'm right here. Why don't you close your eyes?" I nodded and leaned into him, closing my eyes. "Noah, I'll let you know if we need to turn around. Keep going. Missoula's our best option."

"That's where I'm going," Noah replied. "Hang in there, 'Nettie." I nodded and snuggled closer into Pat. "Pat, call Jess, Josh, and Mom." He nodded against my head, shifted to the left, and called them, giving them a brief run down. I heard Noah on his phone too. "Pre-eclampsia or preterm labor is what we're probably looking at," he was saying. I don't know if he was confirming it or suggesting it, but I don't know who he was talking to. I gasped and began to sob again. Pat began to hum softly behind me when he was done on the phone. I sat up and kissed his cheek.

"I can't dance right now," I whispered. He grinned but kept humming. "You shouldn't tease me with our wedding song if we can't dance," I rebuked then gasped, bending over in pain. "Ah! Ow. The baby. Ah! The baby. No," I wept I moved his hand to the top and to the left of my belly as Pat pulled me back to his chest. The baby was kicking awfully hard right there. He rubbed the spot tenderly, pushing on the baby. He kept his hand on the spot as I screamed in agony. 

"Almost there, love. Calm down. I'm here, doll," he whispered. I nodded and grabbed his hand. He carried me into the hospital and checked me into the ER. Not once did the movement or pain let up. While we waited, I threw up several times. When they finally got me in a room and hooked up to all the machines, they grew more concerned as I had started to bleed. Pat was pushed to the corner as they worked on me. He called a hotel and reserved a room once the medical staff left the room, doing all they could for me. Mom came up and stayed with the boys there until I had the baby; Pat was the ever dutiful husband and refused to leave my side. I could tell it was tearing him up and asked if he'd rather be with the boys. "I can't lose you," he whispered, leaning into me and crying. "So I'm staying with you until you kick me out or leave my side." He rubbed the tube draped over my ears and stuck in my nose. "Your cheeks are hollow again. Your eyes sunken in surrounded by dark circles. You're back at death's door. If I leave, I may never see you again," he sobbed. I blinked back tears and met his eyes.

"I don't want to leave you, but I can't have the baby now! It's too early," I cried as I leaned into him. "The longer I can carry our baby, the better it is." 

"I know, doll. But if you don't let them take the baby out soon, I'll lose you both. I would never make you choose between saving one of you, because I know you'll choose the baby every time," he whispered, choking on a sob. I held onto him and cried. "I'm not leaving," he swore. "But you need to fight, not for me. Fight for you. I don't want to lose either one of you, but I want you to be selfish and live," he begged. "Please. I need you."

"I need you too, Benji," I whispered. He sat on my bed and held me, as we both sobbed. Because the hospital staff was fearing for my health and the baby's health, I spent over two weeks there on bedrest. I lost 21 pounds while there. I was told if I passed the 25 pound mark, an emergency induction would happen, surgery most likely. When I started puking up blood, Pat retreated to the wall and wept into his hand, unable to be strong for me anymore. I looked at the lead nurse with tears in my eyes as she looked me over again; I was anemic and my blood pressure was low, but otherwise, I appeared to be fine. "Induce me," I demanded in a whisper as she wiped some blood away from the corner of my mouth. Pat's head shot up in shock. "But do everything you can to save my baby," I pleaded. She nodded and got everything ready. Almost 32 weeks pregnant, I knew the statistics were favorable for infant survival, but still low. I met Pat's eye. "I don't want to lose our baby," I cried. He moved over to me and held my shoulders, crying with me. The nurse said they would give me twelve hours on the inducing drug before moving me to surgery for an emergency c-section. The drug made me sicker, I had horrible back contractions, and it was a miserable night. Barely six hours later, we welcomed four pound, fifteen ounce Rosetta Jo on Tuesday October 17th at 2:33 am. She was 16½ inches long. Overall, she was healthy with a good set of lungs; she was just tiny. The nurse had me feed her. We were overjoyed that she could eat and breathe. We were told that our obstacle with her would be to make sure she could stay warm outside of the NICU. Pat kissed me deeply and rubbed his daughter's head in my arms before the nurse took her away. I smiled up at him. "She beautiful," I murmured. He grinned and rubbed my cheeks.

"Like her mother," he whispered. "Get some rest. I will bring the boys by later," he promised. I nodded and kissed his neck. "You look gorgeous."

"You're biased. I've lost a lot of color and weight," I teased.

He chuckled, "you were pretty pale to start off with, true. But you're glowing now. Motherhood looks good on you." 

"I can't wait to sleep in your arms again. I kinda miss you, you know? Sleeping on my back while you sit up and rest against the bed just isn't the same," I murmured

"Miss you too, love. Rest. I'll see you in while," he promised before kissing my head. He stood up suddenly, watching the nurse wheel our baby away. I squeezed his hand, looking at him in concern. "She's fine. Rest. I'll get you some liquid nutrients. Rosetta will be in the NICU, so it should be nice and quiet for you in here. Let the nurses care for her, rest, and heal. I'll stick around the rest of the night. Love you."

"Love you more," I replied around a yawn. 

Now that the baby was out, the medical team ran more tests and gave me different drugs. Unfortunately, they couldn't stop me from vomiting blood. Finally, after a full day of testing, they were able to find a potential cause: my placenta had partially ruptured which is why I was in pain, but because I didn't let them open me up right away, it caused me to hemorrhage internally. So while little Rosetta was in the NICU, the surgeons were taking out my uterus to stop the bleeding. After surgery on the 18th, I recovered four days in the hospital, only released when I could hold down some substance for more than eight hours at a time. Rosetta was released twelve days after her birth. I learned how to wear a moby wrap because she loved to be snuggled and I needed my hands to hold Benny and Jerry's hands. Pat had me stay at home with her -and off my feet as much as possible- until Thanksgiving. Benny and Jerry were taken to Sunny Kidz everyday to give me a break and he could go to work too. Heather helped me with my books; although Pat hardly let me do them when she brought them over for me to look over. I was allowed to sign paychecks and that was about it. Rosetta was a fighter and gained weight quickly. If she wasn't sleeping on my chest, she was intently watching her brothers. Both boys were great with her and very protective over her. If anyone besides Mom or Dad was holding their sister, they stood right beside that person and gave them the stare down for as long as their little bodies could handle it. After a while, they went back to playing but kept looking up any time their sister made a noise. "We did good," I murmured to Pat as I pointed out the exchange on Sunday as the Conrad family joined us. Josh was holding his daughter as Rachel held ours. Benny and Jerry stood by her knee, keeping their eyes on Rosetta. Pat smiled and nodded.

"They'll always have her back. That's the way it should be," he whispered. He kissed my cheek. "Thanks for sticking around. I'd be lost without you." I smiled and held onto him.

"Can't get rid of me that easily," I teased. "In case you didn't hear, I'm in this for the long haul. Your hair will be white and your hand shriveled up like a raisin before I say good-bye forever." Pat smiled and kissed me passionately, his way of agreeing wholeheartedly with me. Tyler and Stephanie happily accepted the invitation to stay with us. As predicted, Flynn wanted to stay with CJ. Felix and Fletcher were just as crazy as Benny and Jerry; all four loved the company.

Tyler looked at me as his wife rocked Rosetta. "Care to go see Dad with me, sister dear?" I gave him a quizzical look. "I haven't seen Ronnie for a while. I got a letter from him saying suspicions are arising. Ronnie knows about Steph. And about how you and I broke up," he remarked. I giggled remembering the fake fight we had in front of Ronnie. Tyler had let me slap him, then I pounded on the door demanding to be let out. I cried in his car until he came out; I had felt guilty for hurting him but he laughed it off.

"So why do you need me to go?" 

"He's been asking about you. Apparently he comes in once a month for the latest news. You have a great life here, 'Nettie. I just want to make sure you're safe," Tyler told me softly.

"If we broke up like six years ago, isn't it safe to assume we both moved on?" I inquired. I looked back at Pat. "Told you, never ending monsters." He smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Separate visits, Net. Within two days of each other. Let them think whatever they want, but it's time for another guilt trip visit," Tyler remarked. I sighed and took Rosetta back as she began to cry for her dinner. After she latched on, I looked back at Tyler. Pat reached around me and rubbed his daughter's head tenderly as he squeezed my right shoulder with his other hand

"So what happens if you bring Steph in?" I asked, looking at her apologetically. She shrugged her shoulders.

"I asked the same thing. Don't feel guilty," she said softly. I nodded.

"Best case scenario, nothing. Worst, more goons come to find you again," Tyler stated in sorrow. I bit my lip and leaned into my husband.

"Your thoughts?"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he whispered.

"And if I go to the people in charge and say Ronnie's served enough time? Say that because I was the one he offended, and I've forgiven him that he should go free? They ruled it was a case of defense for me. I mean, he wasn't charged with manslaughter, so it's possible for him to get an early release, right?" I asked. Every adult in the room looked at me in shock. Pat was the first to break the silence.

"So selfless, doll," he whispered.

"If they grant him pardon, he's free to do what he wants wherever he wants," Tyler whispered in awe. "It's going to take a lot of string pulling." I nodded.

"He's really not a bad guy," I admitted. "He just followed some bad orders. Help me look into that. I'll go see him and tell him too. Whoever piggybacks on the feeds can take what they want from that." Tyler smiled.

"Thanks, 'Nettie," he held back some tears. So before the new year, that's exactly what we did. Tyler went in two days after I did and Ronnie broke the news with a smile. Tyler acted surprised and rejoiced with Ronnie. A minimum of ten years had to be served then Ronnie would be granted parole; he would be free before Easter. Jess and Tyler gave me a big hug when we got that news. "You are amazing, sister dear," he whispered in my hair as he embraced me before they left. "Thank you." I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek.

"You're welcome. Don't stay away so long next time," I teased. I then moved over to Stephanie and gave her a warm embrace too. "Thanks for coming by! It's so good to see you again," I told her genuinely. She grinned and kissed my cheek.

"Always a pleasure to come up and see our Montana family," she replied. "Love you guys."

After Rosetta's final feeding and I tucked her into her bed for that night, Pat held onto me and whispered in my ear as I settled down for the night too, "life has never been so grand." I rolled over and smiled. 

"And we're still at the beginning of this wonderful journey. I have no intentions of getting off the ride. Thick and thin, darling. I'll be by your side," I replied. He smiled and kissed me softly.

"And if you take a side road, I'll follow you until the sun falls out of the sky," he murmured. I smiled and closed my eyes. "Home, love, family, and happiness; you have given me all of these things and tucked them safely away in your vault. I couldn't ask for anything more," he whispered as he kissed my cheek and rubbed my leg. He was correct; only I had found all of those things with him.

"Me either. This is perfect. My, no our own slice of heaven," I whispered in reply, tracing my toes up his leg.

"Our slice of heaven indeed, darling. I can rule it with the most beautiful queen by my side. Our children are happy and healthy. And I, I own the world. I love you," he whispered as he traced his hand up my side. I pushed him so he moved to his back. Then I climbed on top of him, ran my fingers through his hair, and kissed him deeply. My life was full of bliss. No longer was I afraid. No longer did I have anything to fear. Safe and happy, loved and cherished, fulfilled and satisfied. Life was perfect. "Forever and always," he whispered around his kisses. 

"Eternity and beyond," I confirmed as I rubbed his bare chest. 

"Eternal and youthful," he murmured as he kissed me deeply. "Mine."

"Yours," I confirmed around a gasp. "Yours."

Author's Note

Did I leave a specific character out that you wanted to know what happened to? Let me know! Thank you for reading my story. Any and all feedback is welcome. Please excuse any grammatical errors; I am working on going back through to fix everything.