40. Bliss

True to his word, Pat seemed to go overboard in his care for me. I cherished the attention. I loved being in his arms. At one point, I teased, "this relationship is going to be over before it begins if you don't let me do something by myself!" He pouted and I giggled, but I was serious. "I don't know how to rely on anyone. Please, just give me a little space. Let me hop. Let me figure out how to stand on my feet," I had begged. He grinned, kissed my forehead, and backed away. It was a small victory, but I took it happily. I eventually was allowed to cook again, but only if had someone in the kitchen with me; my balance was still severely skewed, and it worried everyone. "How long am I going to sway?" I asked Jess Thursday evening as I was preparing enchiladas. Pat stood behind me ready to catch me.

"I'm not sure. I think you got hit too hard on the head one too many times," she replied sadly. "You're getting better, but you still have a long journey ahead of you." I bit my lip and nodded as I filled another tortilla up so Jess could fold it up. "We are so proud of you, 'Nettie. I'm sure you'll be fine when you can use both hands for balance and stand on both legs again." I nodded and began putting my sauce on the wrapped up morsels of deliciousness. Her reasoning made sense.

"I trust your opinion, Jess. I hope you're right," I replied. Pat pulled me back as she loaded the dish into the oven, I leaned into his chest and sighed. "If it's okay with everyone, I'd like to visit Renae. I think I owe Lauren and Janell a visit too, but I'd rather wait until I can walk again or at least until I'm not in a wheelchair. Renae's home is fairly open."

"I figured you might," Noah piped up from the breakfast look where he was doing a puzzle. I looked over at him and he met my eye with a smile. "I'm taking you to register for your classes on Tuesday. I ran into Renae and asked if you could spend the night. You need to go in Wednesday and get your books and such."

"Then you're coming right back home," Pat whispered in my ear with a chuckle. I grinned and looked over my shoulder at him.

"Are you going to hold me hostage, sir?" I teased.

"Not at all, ma'am," he replied with a British accent. I giggled and kissed his jaw. "On second thought, yes. You're never leaving my sight," he teased and kissed my cheek. I turned around and wrapped my arm around his waist.

"I'll be fine, sir. I'll always come back to you, in your arms. This is where I feel safe and loved; this is home," I murmured as I rested my head on his chest.

"I feel the same way, doll," he whispered as he kissed my head and carried me to the couch. "King Arthur, Chronicles of Narnia, tv, or something else?" He asked. I grinned.

"Surprise me," I had insisted. Most nights passed like that. Lots of laughter, a few reassuring words and promises, and surrounded in love. I was happy. Jess, Noah, Tyler, and Josh always had dinner with us, but nobody spent the night anymore. Tonight we were expecting Linda, Olivia, and Dalton to join us for dinner. "No! Wait! I didn't prepare something for Dalton," I gasped. Pat chuckled and pulled me to his chest.

"Don't worry about it, doll. Jess is making macaroni and cheese for him," he replied as he started a movie. I didn't even pay attention to what he put in. 

"What about something to drink? Do I need to fix that up too?" I asked.

"You're the perfect hostess, but you're staying put, doll," Pat chuckled. I grinned and snuggled into his arms. "I told them 6:30. Is that correct?" I nodded and bit my lip; I felt like I was forgetting something.

"I'll top it with green chiles and shredded cheese in half an hour," Noah stated. "I remember how you make your enchiladas, 'Nettie. There's salsa and sour cream in the fridge. Just relax." I looked over at him and bit my lip. He studied my expression. "What's wrong?"

"I can't place it. I feel like I'm forgetting something but I can't place what or why," I replied and snuggled back into Pat's shoulder. "Must not be that important," I mumbled as I shook my head.

"You worry too much, doll. Everything will be fine," Pat whispered. I nodded and closed my eyes. He woke me up as dinner was being pulled from the oven. "You've been sleeping a lot. Are you alright, doll?" I stretched and yawned then nodded.

"Yeah. I feel safe here. Apparently I'm not caught up yet," I replied. He grinned at me and kissed my temple as we heard a knock on the door. "Want me to get that? I mean, since I am the perfect hostess," I teased. He looked down at my leg and chuckled.

"You better stay here, beautiful. I got it," he whispered. I grinned and looked towards the kitchen. Everyone seemed fine without me. I sighed and leaned back into the couch. 

"Net! Net!" Dalton squealed as he ran towards me. I smiled at the small boy and he climbed in my lap. I laughed and agreed with him as he told me a story. "Bun, Net?'

"Sorry, bud. No fun planned for today. We're just eating dinner tonight. We'll make playdough," I looked up at Olivia and grinned and corrected, "edible playdough next time you come over," I promised. Olivia smiled as I looked back at her son. He grinned and went back to coloring in my book.

"Annette, you are a blessing. Thanks for having us over. Any night I don't have to worry about cooking is a win in my book," she said warmly. I smiled back at her.

"My pleasure. Thanks for joining us," I replied sincerely. I grabbed my sudoku book and a pen and opened it up for Dalton to color in. He scribbled away merrily while everyone else dished up. "Are you hungry, Dalton?" I asked. He looked up at me and grinned.

"Are you hoping to be a teacher?" Linda inquired as she sat down beside me with a plate of food. Pat put a plate on the coffee table for Dalton and set a sheet on the floor. Then he took Dalton out of my lap and placed him on the sheet in front of his food.

"I'd love to teach. Or work in a daycare. Something with kids," I told Linda.

"You'd be good at it," Olivia confirmed as she sat down in the armchair. Noah handed me a single enchilada and a bowl of salsa. I grinned at him. Pat shook his head and disappeared into the kitchen again. He brought me a tray and a glass of lemonade.

"Stop waiting on me hand and foot," I giggled.

"It's my job to cater to your every whim and desire," he chuckled.

"Get some food, sir," I ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," he chortled and disappeared into the kitchen again. He came back and sat beside me in a beanbag chair. I listened in on everyone's jovial banter and grinned. Everyone had seconds or thirds with the exception of me. I caught Pat's eye as I pushed my tray back. "Once again, doll, this is amazing. Thank you," Pat praised. I grinned.

"My pleasure," I exclaimed in delight. One by one, our guests dismissed themselves and I yawned.

"Ready for bed?" Pat asked kindly as he stroked my cheek. 

"Can I help you clean up the kitchen?" I asked.

"Already done. Tyler and Noah cleaned up tonight," Pat stated as I yawned again. He sighed and picked me up. "You still have some healing to do. Come on, 'Nettie. I'm putting you in bed. Would you like company tonight?" Pat asked as he sat me down in the middle of the bed.

"You always ask that. Are you afraid I'm going to disappear if you aren't here?" I jested but pulled him into the bed with me.

"Something like that, doll," he murmured as he sat beside me and stroked my cheek tenderly. "A wise friend once told me not to let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers. She also told me to follow my heart."

"Sounds like a good friend. When can I meet her?" I asked in a joking tone. He pressed his lips to mine then bopped my nose with a grin. 

"Doll, when would you like to meet Annette? I'll arrange a meeting," he whispered. 

"Not now, I'm busy with my boyfriend and I don't want to share my time with him. I would be a terrible hostess; one or both of you would feel neglected," I replied as I kissed him again. 

"You're right. We can't have that, Sarah," he replied with a grin as he helped me lay back. 

"Sarah?" I breathed as he inched closer. I closed my eyes in anticipation.

"Sarah. If you don't like it, I can call you 'Nettie or whatever you'd like," he confirmed before kissing me. I grinned.

"You'll call me whatever?" I teased. He bopped my nose and I pulled him in for another kiss. "Call me your girlfriend. I'm okay with that. Just tuck me in and don't let go of me. I'm going to be selfish and keep you all to myself. Your friend, she can wait. Or never show up. I don't care. I have you."

"Thanks for being selfish, my porcelain doll. I wouldn't want to split my time between you and my friend either," Pat whispered as he kissed me once more and rolled to his side. I adjusted my pillows and reached for his hand. He grabbed it and rubbed the back of my hand tenderly. "What's on your mind, beautiful?" 

"I was just thinking how much I like having you here. It makes it easier to sleep. I hate sleeping on my back," I giggled meeting his eye. 

"Well in that case, doll, come here. I hate sleeping without you in my arms," he murmured with the widest grin. I grinned as he tucked me into his arm, rolled me to my left side, pulled me to his chest, and then put the blankets over us: a comforter and sheet kept me warm, he was content with just the fleece blanket over him. My respect grew for him. He never crossed the line. He always stopped kissing me before I couldn't breathe. He never tried to touch my chest or my bottom. Nor did he ever try to slide his hand under my clothes. Even after agreeing to date him, he never pressured me to sleep with him. If we were under the same blanket - usually on the couch, his hands were always on top of the blanket, never under it. I looked at our position and sighed as my fingers traced his chest gently. Based on everything I've heard, I was tempting fate but he wasn't jumping. How could he be content holding me like this and never ask for more? Slowly, I met his eye again. He gave me a tender smile and his eyes seemed to melt as he rubbed up my side again. "Something bugging you, doll?"

"You're too good for me," I whispered. He shook his head and moved his hand off my side so he could stroke my cheek.

"Doll, I'm not nearly good enough for you but you deserve to be happy. Do I make you happy?" He asked.

"Exceptionally so, sir," I admitted.

"Good; that's my only goal. Besides you make me very happy too. I don't have the words for the amount of joy you give me, doll. Now stop calling me sir," he teased. I stared into his eyes.

"Sir, no, sir!" I giggled. He laughed and kissed up my jaw.

"You're beautiful. I love everything about you, even your stubbornness," he whispered.

"Thank you for loving me and all my faults and failures. I still don't know if I deserve you," I breathed. He kissed my forehead.

"Doll, you are not a failure. I see no major faults. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and loves you for who you are; I hope I fit that bill. What really shocks me the most is that you chose me back. You are the purest girl, no the purest person, I have ever known. Child or adult. I told you that the guy you give your heart to would be the luckiest in the world. I wasn't lying, doll. You gave me your heart. I've never been given something so precious. It's so rich. Doll, your love can't be bought. I fear that I'm going to fail you. I'm staying right here until you push me away," he promised, still tenderly stroking my cheek. 

"I'd be a fool to push you away. You're one of kind. Pat, you make me feel cherished. It's a new feeling, but I love it," I whispered as I yawned and snuggled into his chest. "Thank you."

"Anytime, doll. You're worth every ounce of energy I can give you," he replied softly and kissed my head again. "Rest, my sweet girl. You are still healing. I've got you, 'Nettie. You'll always be safe and cherished in my arms." I nodded and bunched his shirt in my hand as I closed my eyes and went to sleep. When I woke up, it was dark and the bed beside me was empty. I scowled, scooted over, and turned on the lamp. I picked up the cellphone I was given and looked at the time.

"It's only four am!" I gasped and looked around the room. "Pat? Where'd you go?" I whispered. I saw my wheelchair by the window and hopped over to it. I sat down and wheeled it to the door with great difficulty. "Pat?" I asked again. I didn't hear anything. I bit my lip and wheeled down the hallway. I opened the door to his bedroom; it too was empty. I moved out to the kitchen and turned on the light. "Chill, 'Nettie. I'm sure there's a simple explanation," I thought as I picked up his phone off the counter. I pursed my lips and looked around. "Alright, well no sense in going to bed if he's not here. So... what can I do? Ha! If he's not here to stop me, why not have fun in the kitchen?" I mumbled to the empty house with a grin and put his phone back. I stood up and began to grab the ingredients for homemade biscuits and gravy. My arm felt numb so I undid my sling and let my arm hang limp. As I put the cookie sheet in the oven, I looked out the window and gasped. "You're dead! You can't hurt me anymore," I whispered. "Not real. Not real!" I thought as I moved to the corner and looked for something to defend myself. I gasped as the back door opened. "Stay back," I ordered as I picked up a knife from the counter.

"Hey, what's going on?" He asked as he took a step closer. I shook my head.

"Not real. Wake up, 'Nettie! Come on!" I chided myself and held up the knife towards him. I felt dizzy. "Stay back," I ordered again.

"I'm not going to hurt you, doll," he said. The voice was wrong; the words were wrong. I shook my head and blinked rapidly. I felt like I was looking down a tunnel.

"You're right, you will never hurt me again." I replied. He took a step closer. "If you come any closer I'll slit my throat," I warned. He put his hands up and gave me a confused glance.

"Doll?" 

"Stop trying to get in my head! You lost, Lionel!" I yelled. I grabbed the counter and yelped. He took another step closer and I raised the knife to my throat. "You can't have me. I'd rather die than let you touch me," I snapped.

"Come back to me, doll," he pleaded.

"Stay back!" I yelled. He froze in his spot as I pointed the knife back at him. My arm throbbed so I looked down at it. All off a sudden, he crossed my arm over my chest, wrapped me up in his arms, and took the knife out of my hand. I tried to take it back with my left hand which he wasn't touching as he lowered us to the ground. I panicked as I realized I couldn't move my left arm at all. I thrashed in his arms as the black cloud grew thicker. "I won't give in that easily," I thought as I tried to jab my elbow into his side.

"Stop, doll," he whispered at the same time and effectively pinned my arms. I used my legs to try and get some leverage, but I was losing this battle.

I looked up at him, tried to focus, and murmured, "won't win." Pain overtook me as I tried to stand up and I blacked out.