37. Much to her delight

"I'm only changing twice," I insisted. Jess pouted and I giggled. "I don't want move my arm too much. It's been a little more painful today," I confessed.

"Okay. Fine. We'll pick out an outfit for you to wear tomorrow and a pair of pajamas," Jess conceded. "If you say his t-shirt, I'm going to scream." I giggled. She grinned at me and came over to the bed. She moved some of the clothes she threw at me and helped me sit up again. "So what do you like to wear?"

"Out of the clothes that I've worn that you have picked out, I loved that handkerchief shirt. I loved how it flowed. Tyler said it made my pale shade look not so sickly, and still I felt feminine. It was gorgeous and comfortable. The neon green top was too tight for my liking, but I loved the black top that was paired with it. This dress feels too fancy but is really comfortable. It's harder to use the bathroom though. I always dress for comfort, not style. I like to layer. I hated just being in my tank top for a week, but they burned my shirt. Usually, I'm under a sweatshirt and just in jeans," I admitted with a shudder. She nodded and grinned.

"You liked that cream shirt?" Jess beamed. I nodded. "Good! I bought one in every color." I laughed. Of course she did. Jess stood up and dug through the closet. "Hmm they're not in here." She moved to the dresser. "I'm going to hurt them! These shirts get hung up! Not folded!" She brought over the whole drawer to the bed and then went back to the closet and grabbed the hangers.

"I'm never going to be able to keep that straight," I giggled. She looked back at me and grinned. "I promise, I will try."

"Fair enough. What color?" Jess asked pulling out every shade from the drawer. The burgundy one caught my eye. I reached into the drawer and grabbed it, beneath it was a pastel violet. I fingered both choices. Jess grinned as I settled on the first one. "I was going to suggest this charcoal one, but that's an excellent choice. Although, with your blue cast, you should stick to the browns, grays, whites, and blues." I giggled again. "What?"

"Nothing, Jess. I'll do my best to coordinate my clothing. I love blue, but I also love the other colors too. I've always looked good in pastels so when I saw the violet, I wanted to grab it. I can pull of the burgundy too. Besides it'll act as a double agent by making these bruises seem not as dark," I stated and showed her as I draped my the shirt over my leg; while my bruises were muddy green and brown, next to the burgundy shirt, the green stood out and the brown seemed to dull.

"I'm impressed. You do know a thing or two about how colors work with your body," Jess praised. "Now what would you pair it with?"

"Shorts," I replied confidently. "After all, it's still summer and as long as they aren't short short, I'll wear 'em. White, gray, or even black. Something with a loose waistband and not bright. The last thing I want is eyes wandering over my body because of the pop of color is, well, yeah. Although, if I was going to hide these bruises, I'd pick jeans for going out in public, but for lounging around -which is all I'm allowed to do any more- I'd wear sweats." Jess nodded and dug through another drawer. She pulled out a pair of light gray shorts and put them on top of the dresser.

"You don't have bad taste. You just hide yourself, so I won't let you pick jeans. You're really beautiful," Jess stated as she started to hang up the shirts. "Promise me you'll work hard this year on enhancing your beauty."

I blushed, looked down, and confessed, "I don't want to enhance anything. I got in enough trouble trying to blend in. I don't want to imagine what could happen if I tried to stand out."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Jess chided playfully. "Have some faith, 'Nettie. You can change the world. Be a face of change and inspiration." I shook my head and blushed again. "I know. You don't want to be on the frontlines, you're perfectly content with working in the background. We love you for it." I giggled.

"I love you too, Jess," I replied. She looked back at me and smiled but continued to work diligently. After watching her make several trips back and forth to my closet and emptying another drawer, I yawned and tried to stretch. I pulled my arm to my chest and gave myself a hug. "Ugh! Pat made this seem so easy earlier," I complained. Jess giggled and gave me a serene gaze.

"Let's get you ready for a shower, sweetie. You seem ready for bed," she stated warmly as she sat beside me. I leaned into her as she gave me a hug. I yawned again.

"Yeah, I guess so. I could go to bed," I replied. She squeezed my shoulder and stood up. 

"I'll be right back," she insisted as she seemed to dance out of the room. I giggled and pulled out Pat's phone and went through his pictures. Surprisingly, he had very few: the two pictures that we sent while I was in the hospital, three of his face, five of his truck, one of a sunset -the orange in the picture was bright, not soft- and one of an older woman with kind eyes and a bright smile. Jess came back in the room with my water sling, looked over my shoulder, and asked, "who's that?" She began to unfasten my sling. I studied the woman's eyes. They were a light shade of hazel, almost like the eyes were blind, but had a bright sparkle with a mischievous glint just like Pat.

"Joanna!" I whispered in awe. I looked up at Jess. "Pat's mom. It has to be. He has no other picture of her in the house. His heart is still filled with grief but he can't say good-bye. I don't want him to. Joanna deserves to be seen and loved. Is there a way we can print this picture out?" Jess gently placed my arm on a pillow and looked at me.

"Sweetie, I'm all for that, but if we print that off and you haven't seen another picture of her in the house, we might open up some old wounds. You could hurt him. Would you do that to me or Tyler with our mom? Didn't think so. He'll heal on his own," she said softly. I nodded and closed the phone, setting it on the bed beside me. "Can I help you undress?" Jess asked. I blushed but nodded again. She pulled out the white robe that I used last night as a blanket. "Here you go, sweetie. Now let's get this top off." Jess pulled off my lacy top and helped me into the shower sling. I threaded my right arm through the robe and pulled it around my shoulders. Jess moved the wheelchair to in front of me, stuck out her hand, and I grabbed it. I held onto her shoulder as I got my balance. "Can I slide your dress off?" She asked kindly. I nodded again. "You can do the rest in the bathroom," she promised. I blushed and she giggled as she set me down softly in the wheelchair. She wrapped a towel over the top of the cast and covered it with a plastic bag then pushed me into the bathroom. "I'll be right outside, Annette. Let me know if you need anything."

"Yes, ma'am. I will let you know, Nurse Jess," I replied and she kissed the top of my head. She locked the wheels and left. Slowly I stood up. I took off the robe, draped it over the wheelchair, and looked around the bathroom. While it was small, there wasn't much to hold onto. "Jess? Is it safe for me to hop around? Pat and Tyler have made sure I wasn't doing much of that at all."

She giggled on the other side of my door, but responded positively, "yeah, 'Nettie. You'll be okay. Make sure you hold onto the wall."

"Thanks, Jess," I replied with a smile. I hopped over to the toilet first. I was still on my period but it was super light. It wouldn't surprise me if I was done tomorrow. I put another tampon in then I threw my strapless bra and panties into the corner. I stood up and hopped to the shower. I took three deep breaths as I leaned against the wall and turned on the shower after I closed the door. The shower head didn't move; it was stuck on the wall in a single place. I bit my lip and positioned it so it hit the near edge of the chair. Cautiously I sat down. The water hit me on my neck. I began to cry. "Look around, 'Nettie. It's not rising. You're safe," I chided myself mentally. I wanted to get out of the water so I rushed through the routine of cleaning myself up. I rinsed the soap off my body and wept; no matter what I tried, I couldn't wash my hair. "Jess!" I sobbed as I buried my head in my my hand, my elbow rested on my lap.

"What's up, 'Nettie?" She asked as she poked her head in the bathroom.

"I can't! I can't!" I gasped. She walked over and turned off the water. My back was turned towards her. She draped a towel around me and rested her hand on my back. My body shook as I wept, "I'm sorry."

"Annette, that's why I'm here. I'll help you wash your hair," she insisted. 

"Not here," I murmured as another sob escaped. "Glass walls. I can't control the water. Jess," I begged as I looked up at her. She nodded. She brought me the robe and helped me put it on. Then she brought over the wheelchair and helped me settle into it. I covered up with the yellow towel and sobbed into it. "I'm sorry." Jess took the hand towel off the rack and dried my eyes.

"Annette, you're fine. I understand. Let's get you dressed. I'll wash your hair in the kitchen, okay?" She asked sympathetically. I nodded and sobbed again as she wheeled me out of the bathroom.

"Everyone keeps saying I'm so strong. I'm not. I'm weak and broken," I insisted. Jess looked at me with pity.

"You're alive, Annette. You keep fighting. You are strong," Jess replied. She pulled out two strapless bras, a pair of underwear, and a silk pair of shorts. She slid the underwear and shorts on simultaneously, stopping at my thigh. She then walked behind me and locked the wheels again. She gave me her hand and I stood up. She helped me finish pulling them up all the way. "Sit down, Annette. We're going to put this on. You can drape your left hand tonight, no sling." I nodded as she took off the the bag over my cast then my robe; I kept the towel over my chest. She took off the sling and dried my arm before weaving me through the bra. "This second one is going to hold your arm in place, but you can move your elbow down sparingly." I nodded again and tried to dry my eyes. Once the bras were on and my arm secured, she looked around the room. She noticed the sheet behind the dresser and pulled it down. A large mirror was behind it. I gasped as my heart pounded and my eyes widened in fright. "Not a two-way. No one is watching you," she insisted as she put her fingernail on the mirror. "See. My reflection doesn't touch me; a two way mirror would make my reflection touch. I wanted you to see how stunning you are, Annette." She helped me stand up. Then she wrapped her left arm around my waist, I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and looked at my reflection. Fear, panic, and worry were written across my face. My face was blotchy and my eyes were swollen as tears fell. Half my hair was wet and matted. Dark bruises covered me from head to toe. I felt and looked like a monster. Jess pointed to my stomach then hers and giggled, "abs, baby." Jess pointed to our arms. "Warmth and love." She pointed to our faces. "Absolute beauty." Jess turned towards me and sat me down again. "Annette, you have nothing to fear. You are surrounded in love. You give off joy and comfort. You are beautiful inside and out. Remember that whenever you look at yourself." I nodded and she disappeared. I leaned over to the bed and grabbed the phone. Jess came back out with the shower caddy, placed it on my lap, and wheeled me to the kitchen. 

"Not right now," I begged another tear fell down my cheek. Jess nodded and took me to the living room, parking me between the armchair and the couch. I sent Tyler and Josh the same message. "Please come back. I can't..." Jess picked up the remote and found something to watch, settling on the Hallmark channel.

"Do you need a snack, 'Nettie?" She asked as she walked into the kitchen taking the shower caddy with her. I shook my head and looked at the phone. Two new messages were waiting for me; at least I hoped somebody wasn't looking for Pat.

"B ther soon." -Josh.

"What's going on, doll? Call Josh." I hit reply.

"Jess. Shower. Mirror. Glass box. Can't. He's coming." I typed and hit send. I wiped another tear from  my cheek. "Jess, I'm sorry. Josh is on his way. I don't want you to hurt yourself if I panic," I explained to her as she gave me two ice packs then sat down in the middle of the couch. She had a bowl of ice cream and the box of cheese nip crackers for herself. She nodded. I scowled but tucked the ice in between the bra to ice my ribs.

"Good girl, that's exactly what you need to do with those. Better safe than sorry. Josh can help me position you properly to wash your hair," she replied and looked at the tv. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I looked at the phone in my hand again.

"We'll be home in an hour or less. Then I'll get rid of all those mirrors. I have an idea for the shower door too. We'll make sure you feel safe. Whatever it takes." I grinned. Pat was really beyond thoughtful but I hated that he was going to renovate his house for me. I bit my lip. The phone lit up again. "Won't be a problem doll. Promise. Charge your panels."

I began to type up a message then decided against it and took a picture of myself instead. I sent it with the caption "too dark. No panels."

Seconds later, I got a response, "then use hope to shine doll. Cover up before you do though." I looked down and blushed. I set the phone on the arm of the couch then I put my arm through the robe and pulled it around my shoulder as there was a knock on the door.

"Annette? It's Josh," his voice was muffled on the other side. Jess stood up and walked to the door. She quickly unlocked and opened it for him. I tried to move and frowned; Jess had locked my wheels. Josh came in and looked at me. "You alright, Annette?" I shook my head.

"I might have overwhelmed her," Jess confessed as she sat down and finished her ice cream. "The shower was too much. But since you're here now, care to help me wash her hair? I need to use the sink." 

"She can calm down first," Josh stated as he sat down in the armchair. He gave me a sympathetic smile. "She looks a little worked up." I gave him a small smile and curt nod.

Jess looked over at me. "You're right. Annette, you did so well at the hospital with the shower. What happened? The water was barely on for five minutes" 

"The hospital shower head could be moved. I had control of the water and where it went. I couldn't move this one. I tried to scoot over but there wasn't much room. I felt trapped." I replied as more tears fell. I looked at Josh then back at Jess. Jess nodded.

"Sweetie, no one is ever sticking you back in that tank. Or any box for that matter," Jess stated in a firm tone.

"Wait! We read up on the police report. Well we assumed it was yours, no pictures were in the paper, but I can't imagine there's too many stories about three local teens returned to their families. It's public record now. After getting you to the hospital, they found a body in the back of the car. He was in a clear tank, wrapped in a blanket. Did the monster hand deliver more evidence?" Josh asked. I bit my lip, looked over at Jess. She paled slightly.

"The box I was in was clear and about six feet long, three foot wide, and three foot high. It was full of water. Difficult to move by one's self to just dump the water out. I doubt that it was the same box," I replied. I bit my lip again. I guess it could be the same tank. I didn't see it again after the last incident. However, if it was the same box, the police could use it for forensic measures. Lauren and Adam's prints would have to be on it, but it would most likely implicate one or more of my new siblings. I began to panic again. I looked at Jess and signed, exaggerating the signs so it was clear. "Is it?" She nodded. I cried. "Who's prints will they find? Who will go to jail?" I signed in a fury. Jess scooted closer to me and grabbed my hand.

"Where's the oxygen tank? She says she can't breathe!" Jess demanded. Josh stood up and walked to the kitchen; I scowled at her. Jess leaned over and whispered, "Tyler and Ronnie moved the tank. I only saw Ronnie touch it. I don't know if Ty did." Josh came back into the room and Jess spoke louder, "in and out, sweetie. Nice even breaths. Noah needs you too. You're not allowed to freak out." I watched her right hand. She was signing, poorly, but trying to keep it subtle. "I'm sending Noah a message right now. It will be okay." I nodded as Josh put the mask over my face. 

"Annette, Jess is right. Slow breaths. No more panicking," Josh spoke firmly as he met my eyes. I tried to calm down. It wasn't working. "What do you need, Annette?" I shrugged my right shoulder but stared into his chocolate brown eyes. My breaths were coming in short spurts. I sighed and closed my eyes as Josh draped my arm over my head. Slowly, my breathing evened out. I opened my eyes again and gazed into the concerned ones in front of me. He placed the back of his hand against my forehead as I lowered my hand back to my lap. "Jess, she's a little warm and looks like she might pass out."

Immediately Jess was on her feet. Her spoon clamored on her bowl as she pushed them aside. "Let's cool her down then. Before she faints," she commanded. She got behind me and pushed me into the kitchen. Josh followed with the tank. Jess found a wash rag and soaked it under cold water. She stood by my right side and dabbed my head. She smiled then grabbed my hand. "Here, Annette. Junior wants to say hi." I smiled as I felt her baby kick again. "That's right, sweetie. Focus on your niece or nephew. You're doing great. Did you know, not even Noah has felt the baby move this much. You two are going to have a special bond; I know it," Jess crooned as she continued to dab. She looked up at Josh. "Do you think you can move her to one of those higher stools? Josh nodded and moved to pick me up. "No! No! Bring the stool here. This is the best time to wash her hair. Annette, you keep your hand on my belly; it lets me know you're conscious. Keep fighting. Stay awake." Josh disappeared around the corner and came back with a breakfast stool. Jess took the yellow towel off my lap. I blushed and tried to grab my robe with my left hand. It felt stuck in sludge. I scowled and removed my hand off Jess' belly and covered my body. Once I was covered, I held onto the robe with my left hand as tightly as I could.

"You don't have to hide, Annette," Josh implied as he wiggled his eyebrows and moved me to the stool. I blushed and held on tighter to the robe; the movement shot shooting needles up my fingers, but I ignored it. Jess shoved his shoulder playfully.

"Behave," she ordered. Josh grinned. "Annette, I need you lean backwards. Put your hand back on my belly. I have a feeling your eyes are going to close as we do this and I need to make sure you're alright. Josh, you're going to have to help support her and keep her from falling."

"Got it," Josh replied. He wiggled his eyebrows again. I rolled my eyes as he put one hand on my stomach, his other hand was on my back. Gently he nudged me backwards. Jess grabbed my right hand again and put it on her belly. She cradled my head and pushed on my right shoulder. "Annette, I'm going to push this chair back a little with my foot. To do that, I need to lift you up. Ready?" Josh asked. I shrugged my right shoulder again and closed my eyes as he did exactly what he said he would do. I held my breath as he lowered me back down. The hand on my back rested between my shoulder blades. "The benefit of this position, Annette, is that I can tell you aren't breathing," Josh stated. He pushed down softly on my diaphragm. "I'm not having a bunch of angry guys come after me because you stopped breathing. So breathe," he ordered. I nodded and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. I looked up at Jess and smirked. She smiled and looked down at my hand on her belly as I tapped it twice.

"Pat owes you a beat down. You messed up his milkshake," I signed and put my hand back. Jess' belly moved under my touch as the baby actively kicked my hand then stopped. Jess gave me a confused glance but translated. Josh chuckled.

"Another reason to keep you around, Annette. He would never hurt me in front of you. He punched me earlier, but you were right, it was light. Even for him," he teased. I smiled and closed my eyes again. "Her breathing is back to a consistent pattern. It's still coming in short spurts. I'll let you know if it gets worse."

"Thank you. Okay, 'Nettie. I'm going to wash your hair now," Jess stated softly as she turned on the water. Another tear fell down my cheek and I took two deep breaths. "Pat has a sink hose, sweetie. It's okay. It's just like at hairdresser's. I'm not going to get any on your face. Focus on what makes you happy." I nodded. What makes me happy? I thought of my books. My breathing was still hitched. Noah and Jess wrapped up in each other's arm crossed my mind next. I smiled but my body tensed when I felt the water on my head. That wasn't working. What else makes me happy? "You're doing great, Annette. Keep it up," Jess praised. 

I took another deep breath. A smile crossed my mind. I focused on the smile. It was warm and inviting. Full of joy and comfort. I smiled. Then the vision shifted to one I had pictured before, only this time all the details weren't fuzzy. I was walking towards the smile, the face was still out of focus - just like always, the body was in a tux, warm music filled the air and I took a step I looked down and gazed at the red roses in my hand. Once again it changed. I was throwing popcorn and he threw it back. The smile accompanied a laugh then a kiss as we rolled in the mess. "Come on, my 'Nettie. Tomorrow we welcome this little one," the voice whispered and his hand rubbed my belly that was quite large. I grinned. I liked this vision; there was more details than usual and I was loving the idea of carrying his child. "I love you. Let's go to bed," the voice crooned and I made myself come back to reality, knowing the next scene was of gray hair, holding hands, and beeping machines as his heart stopped. I didn't want to see that smile stop being there.

"I really hope I have a little girl! I'll have my own little doll to play with! The hair! The outfits! Oh! This is fun, 'Nettie. Thank you." My eyes shot open and I wept. This can't be! No! Anyone but him! I was able to place the smile and voice I went through those scenes again; crystal clear imagery formed and I began to sob again. "Let me rinse your hair, Annette. Thirty more seconds," Jess stated in concern. I pulled my hand off her belly and wrapped it around my chest. Jess turned off the water and Josh sat me up. I openly wept as Jess dried my hair.

"Say it ain't so!" I signed by my hip. Jess gave me a confused glance. "Tell me I didn't fall for someone I can't have?! Tell me I'm not in love with the idea of him by my side. Please!" 

"I'm not sure I know what you mean. I can't understand when you keep your hand so close. I need you to exaggerate the signs," she said sadly. I pulled the mask off and threw it on the ground.

"I can't do this! I can't let you guys care for me. I have to. I've always looked out for myself," I sobbed angrily. To Jess, I fully signed, "don't worry about it. It's foolish." I began to hop towards Josh who had moved across the kitchen and was leaning on the breakfast nook.

"Sarah Annette Gibson!" Jess yelled at me, pulling on my arm and forcing me back onto the stool. Josh stood up and took a step closer. "Don't you dare hurt yourself. Knock it off right now and tell me what is going on. I demand to know. Not only because I'm your nurse, but because we're family. Please," she begged as her own tears fell.

"I'm taking care of myself. Every time my dad hit me, I would stand back up. I did the same thing with those two creeps. I'm letting them win right now by not fighting!" I sobbed. I looked at Josh. "You can help me, but you can't stop me."

"Annette," he gasped. I shook my head. "Why? And I can stop you. You're as light as a feather, remember?" Josh stated as he took another step closer.

"I have to. I can't rely on anyone," I replied and stepped down again. Jess moved to stop me again and I glared at her. "I'm going to the wheelchair. I'm going to master it before they get home." I cautiously hopped forward. My balance was severely screwed. Josh reached out and steadied me.

"Annette, stop being dumb. This is not helping yourself heal," he exclaimed as he lowered me into the wheelchair. I lifted my right leg onto the rest. Josh knelt beside me. "You promised to let us help you," he spoke quietly but forcefully. 

"That was yesterday!" 

"No! It's not just a day-to-day thing. This is a we're-going-to-help-until-you're-completely-healed-and-you'll-let-us thing. It's for your own damn good," he retorted as his brow started to furrow in anger. 

"I won't do anything rash," I promised as I lowered my leg again and wiped my eyes. "No more help. I've healed enough. I'm doing this on my own. I need your help until they get back. You guys have to teach me how to use this thing," I demanded. Josh stood up and shook his head. Jess' eyes held back sorrow.

"Annette! We can't let you do this on your own," she whispered.

"I never said you had to watch. I'm going to master this. I can't stay here and just let everyone move me around. I have to do this," I expressed woefully at her in a loud voice. Her hand flew to her mouth and she shook her head. I felt guilty and looked down.

"Don't be a fool, Annette. You need the help," Josh snapped as he paced the kitchen and pounded on the kitchen counter. That caused my blood to boil again. 

"What I need is to be able to do this on my own," I countered as I glared at him. I looked back up at Jess. She now had one hand by her eyes, the elbow resting on her other arm that was draped across her chest. "I know you guys are looking and I wouldn't be surprised if you already found a place. I know this living arrangement isn't permanent. And since both brothers want to work, I know you won't be able to help me with everything. There's no better time to learn than the present. I'll give you the choice: either you help me with this or I stand up and start cooking." Josh pounded his fist on the counter again.

"You're a damn fool, Annette. You know this isn't wise. I know you want to heal, but this is only going to cause you more problems down the line," he insisted with a growl. I glared back at him. His face softened and he knelt in front of me again. "Pat is going to feel like a terrible host. You said we're like brothers, and it's true. Pat is my brother from another mother, but Annette, this is ludicrous. Please, reconsider. Pat asked you to take it easy for one week. One week. Annette, you've been here one day. We all know you're stubborn, but this is plain stupid. It's nice to see you with a little fire in your eyes, but d****t." Josh shook his head and tried to regain his thoughts. I was being stupid; I'll give him that, but I have to get to a point where I don't need the band-aid. I ignored my anger and focused on Josh. He needed to calm down or he was going to act aggressively and hurt someone; I knew this much of his character.

I put my hand on the side of his face. He looked up at me and I softly replied, "I've never quit on anything in my life. Every time my dad knocked me down, I got right back up. I couldn't let him win. Pain fades. I'll heal, but until then, I need to learn how to use this thing. I've never liked sitting back or still like a sitting duck. I'm not about to start now." He blinked several times as he tried to recover from the emotional roller coaster I was taking him on. I lowered my hand and put it on the wheel. "Going straight is going to be my biggest hurdle. Excuse me. I've got some lessons to learn," I said through grit teeth. Josh grabbed both hand rests.

"I can't let you do this, Annette," he asserted. His eyes pleaded for me to reconsider. "You're not a sitting duck here. Nobody is going to hurt you. We all care about you and want you back on your feet, but not like this. You said you didn't want to go back to the hospital. This is a damn sure fire way to go back. One way, Annette! Like you said, you won't get out the next time. This is a whole new side of you and quite frankly, it's scary." I shook my head as more tears fell.

"I can do this! I have to! If you won't help, then unfasten this damn sling. I'm not going to sit on the sidelines while everyone puts me just where they want me! I can't," I mumbled. Josh's eyes narrowed, he huffed and puffed, and his fists clenched tighter on my arm rests. He was trying to keep his anger in check, but I wasn't helping.

"Annette, Noah's on the line. Will you talk to him please?" Jess begged holding out her phone. I stared at the phone for a minute then grabbed it.

"I don't want to talk," I grumbled angrily as I put the phone to my ear.

"What are you doing, 'Nettie?" Noah asked.

"Learning to use this wheelchair or cooking. I gave them the choice of what they would prefer me to do. I would hope you at least would understand," I replied gruffly. Josh still was holding onto the chair, but at least his knuckles weren't white anymore. I gave him a sour look anyways.

"Why? 'Nettie, that sounds like the dumbest thing you could be doing right now," Noah countered.

"My life, my choice," I replied.

"Sarah!" My brother choked out. "Please! I already lost you once. Please don't make me lose you again."

"You're not going to lose me. I'm still right here. I'm not trying to walk. Yet," I replied dryly.

"'Nettie," Noah wept. "Please stop."

"Noah Daniel Gibson! You have no right to tell me what to do. You disappeared for a year. I don't even know you! I love you. I think your girlfriend is amazing. I can't wait to meet your bundle of joy. I would never do anything to hurt them. That's why Josh is here. But for the love of all things holy, I'm not having this conversation with you over the phone! If you want to talk later, we will," I yelled.

"What happened, Annette? Have you hurt Josh? Talk to me. You've only been this angry one other time in your life. Please tell me! Tear down your walls," Noah pleaded with me.

"There's no coals this time. Don't worry. They're trying to fall, but I won't let these walls down. People will get hurt. No, I haven't hurt anyone, yet. I don't want to," I replied as my body shook, this time in anger, not pain. I hated being this mad. I hated yelling at my brother. "I'll talk to you when you get home. I have to go."

"Don't hang up yet," Noah begged.

"Why?" 

"Because you need to calm down, doll. Tyler and I can hear you screaming. Your brother is a wreck. We're all concerned about you," Pat voiced. I sobbed. I looked out the window and tried to see the stars; all I saw was darkness.

"Can't," I wept.

"Try, doll. In and out. Calm down," Pat ordered in an even tone. "Good, doll. So you're using Josh as a buffer pad. That's encouraging. How's it working out for you?" I raised my foot back on the footrest as I glared at Josh. He gave me a small smile, released the chair, and stood up. He leaned against the countertop, but remained within arms reach in case I tried to be stupid again.

"Fine," I replied tersely. I eyed Josh wearily and took a deep breath. "The muscle isn't letting me hurt myself either. I'm highly considering hurting him though. He's being problematic," I said in a calmer voice. I still cried, but the anger had left. Josh smirked and looked down at his feet; I followed his gaze.

"I'm sure he deserves it. I'm glad he's not letting you hurt yourself though," Pat said reassuringly. "So what was going on? Why are you so upset?"

"Irrelevant reasons now. Anger is a killer. I don't feel like myself. How can anyone survive with that much anger?" I diverted. I looked back up at Josh; he was trying hard not to laugh at me. I stuck my tongue out in an effort to ease the tension. He ended up doubling over in laughter. 

Pat chuckled, "they can't. We'll be home soon, doll. What can we bring you?"

"I don't need anything!" I cried. Pat chuckled again. I looked over at Jess. She seemed to relax a little but was still tense. Again, I felt guilty. "I owe everyone an apology though," I stated morosely. "Please put me on speaker."

"You're on speaker, doll," Pat informed me. I smiled slightly and looked at Josh and Jess. I took another calming breath before I began. I looked at Josh and Jess periodically.

"I'm sorry. To all of you. Tyler, you'll love this. I acted like a bratty toddler because I got scared and couldn't get my way. I'm terrified of help but apparently, I desperately need it. Jess, you really are sweet and I love you. I'm sorry if I caused you any undue stress. I didn't mean to hurt you, or the baby. I care deeply about you both. Thank you for washing my hair. Josh, you're a great friend. I appreciate you coming over so quickly. I know this is not how you wanted to spend your night and I'm sorry for snapping at you. I couldn't hurt you if I wanted; I felt cornered. Thank you for insuring I wouldn't hurt myself, no matter how crazy I got. I'm sorry for scaring you. I'm sure everyone appreciates you being here. Thank you for being the muscle that looks out for me. I am sorry that I pushed you out onto this emotional roller coaster. I'm sorry I fought you." He met my eye and nodded, giving me a genuine smile. I paused and took a deep breath and looked at my makeshift sling, moving my fingers up and down one by one. It hurt, but allowed me to focus my anger into something semi-productive. "Noah, I love you so much. I'm sorry that I yelled at you too. You've been my biggest supporter throughout my whole life. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you." I looked at Josh again and bit my lip; I had more to say but I had to choose my next words carefully. "My wires got crossed in my brain. I know you guys don't have the answer, but I wish I knew how long I was under the water," I cried softly. If I had an answer, maybe I could figure out what areas I needed to focus on with brain teasers; I didn't even know if they would know, but I had to take a chance. I took another breath. "Pat, I'm sorry to you too. I'm truly grateful for your hospitality. I wanted to run. And I thought teaching myself how to use this blasted chair would be the answer. I don't think rationally when I'm scared. I'm sorry. To all of you." I met Jess's eye. She grinned at me and wiped her tears. "I know that this setback is only the first of several yet to come. I don't know what will trigger an outrage, but I'll do my best to keep a tamper on it."

"Like hell you will," Josh smirked. I looked up at him. "Annette, you were out of character. It scared me, I'm not going to lie. But damn, girl! You could do some damage. I'd hate to see you on a rampage when you aren't in pain. I'm sure you would have at least tried to kick me." I grinned and looked down. Everyone chuckled on the other side of the phone.

"If I wasn't in pain, I would've booked it out the door, stopping for no one. Violence isn't the answer, and I refuse to hurt people. I would've made it too," I murmured. I looked up at Josh. "Thanks. That being said, if I ever need a punching bag, I know exactly who to turn to!" I teased. I sighed. "How far out are you guys?"

"Not far, 'Nettie," Noah spoke up. "You're off speaker. There's more to tell, isn't there?" I bit my lip. Yes, there was, but I couldn't do it over the phone, or in present company. The front door opened and I jumped as I turned towards the door. Noah walked in and signed by his hip, "so spill."

I hung up the phone and gave it back to Jess. "Not here. Not around them. Any of them. No phones," I signed back, keeping my hand by my hip. I sighed as I took in his appearance; I had made him cry too. "I'm so sorry. I don't like this. I hate hurting you. I'm sorry," I signed. He smiled and made his way over to me.

In front of his body he signed, "stop, 'Nettie. Now." I sighed and nodded. Tyler and Pat joined us in the kitchen. I looked at Jess, she was watching our hands but didn't seem to get the memo. 

"Will you do my hair when we come back? I need to talk to Noah. Alone," I pleaded. She nodded and Noah came up behind me. "Let me guess, they locked the wheels too?" Everyone chuckled as I tried to move again. It was stuck. "Freaking a!" I thought angrily. "I'll take that as a yes. Again, guys, I'm so sorry. There was no reason for my actions."

"You're forgiven, sister dear," Tyler teased. 

"You have no say! I didn't blow up at you," I teased back and stuck out my tongue; if he was close, I would have pushed him.

"You are forgiven," Josh stated with a smile. "This was more entertaining than what I had planned anyways."

"Ditto," Jess replied. "We may not have gone through your entire closet, but I enjoyed hanging out with you, even if you did give me quite the scare." I smiled warmly at her and looked up at my brother.

"I know you didn't mean it, 'Nettie. Nothing to forgive," he promised as he wheeled me outside. He gave Jess his phone as we passed her. "Porch or grass?"

"Grass," I confirmed. I didn't need anyone to overhear this. He stopped at the top of the stairs and locked the wheels. He helped me stand and carried me down the steps then grabbed the wheelchair again. I nodded and sat down. We began walking towards the treeline. About halfway, I asked him to stop. He turned me around and sat down on the grass. "Can I join you?" I begged. Noah chuckled and gave me his hand. I took it and stood up while he pushed my chair back with his foot, but he remained sitting. I bit my lip as I lowered myself onto the ground. Once I settled down, I leaned against his shoulder and he turned his body so we were back to back. He leaned his head back and rested against my right shoulder. "What was it like when you met Jess?"

He chuckled, pressed his head against mine as he kissed my cheek, and pulled his right arm around the front of my waist. "That's what your blowup is about? Me?" I shook my head and looked down. "Alright, if I tell you, will you tell me what's going on?" I nodded and sat up again. I felt him nod as he took a deep breath. "I had every intention of doing well in school. The basketball team was great. They all but made me a star. Jess often came to our practices. At first, I didn't notice her, then she kept laughing. It reminded me of you. Her eyes drew me in. I've never seen that shade of green before. She was the talk of all the guys. The bet was on to see who she was coming there to see. I didn't figure I was in the running. She's a 10. I might be a 6."

"Phff. Whatever. If you asked the girls in my class you're easily an 8!" I stated in shock. He kissed my cheek again.

"It's hard to see. What would you rank yourself?"

"Before last week, a 5, and that was highballing it. Now I'm not sure," I confessed, looking back up at the sky as I snuggled into his shoulder. 

"Low, 'Nettie. You easily are a 9 or 10. Ask anyone," Noah admitted as he gave me a gentle nudge. He adjusted his body, but kept me on his shoulder as he wrapped me in a warm embrace; we were now hip to hip. I snorted. "See. It's hard to see yourself in that light, I know. Well Jess had her eyes on me. She felt drawn to me. One kiss and I was sold. My heart raced, my hands got clammy, and I knew I'd follow her wherever she went." I smiled. "She always seemed to be looking over her shoulder, and again, it reminded me of you. I left, 'Nettie. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't once stop to think how much worse life would get for you. I'm sorry," Noah cried silently. I used my elbow and nudged his side gently and he pulled me in tighter.

"Life with Dad wasn't definitively better or worse once you left, Noah; it was about the same," I told him. "I don't hold you responsible for what happened next. Tyler told me." Noah settled back onto my shoulder and rubbed my right thigh as he wept.

"Then you know it is my fault, 'Nettie," he cried. I reached down so I could hold his hand. He met me halfway. I squeezed it.

"Noah, I also know that without Jess, I may never have heard from you again. There was radio silence for months before Lionel found you guys. I also know you owe her your life. Are you happy?" I asked. I shifted my body so I could look at him; it was painful, so he took the initiative and moved back by my knee. We were now face to face.

"Very. I can't picture life without her," Noah admitted as he smiled broadly at me. "It's hard to be away from her, but if being away from means I can look after you too, then I'll take it. I failed you, 'Nettie." I shook my head.

"You haven't failed me. You're here. That's a win," I replied with a smile. I laughed and dried his eyes. "Wasn't I the one who was supposed to be breaking down?" He chuckled. I looked him in the eyes. "Is she the one?" Noah grinned the biggest smile I've ever seen him smile. "How'd you know?" He put his head down on his chest.

"It snuck up on me, 'Nettie. I'd love to have her as my wife. I can't picture life without her by my side. I'd be an idiot to let her go. She brings me too much joy. Again, just like you, sis. We'll be together one year in just under seven weeks. I was planning on asking her to marry me. Care to go ring shopping with me?"

"YES!" I squealed! "I'd be honored to go. I'd jump up and down and give you a big hug-"

"-but you're a little stuck, right?" Noah teased. I nodded. "Good. You're a little more than banged up; I'm glad you're stuck. And thank you. I need your keen eye for the pretty things and your thoughts on what she'll like. I know you barely know her, but that you really have a knack of depicting personalities," he explained. I nodded. He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "Thanks, kid. I also know I can count on you to keep a secret. Why did you want to talk out here? I haven't figured that out yet. You were so mad. What's going on, 'Nettie?" I bit my lip and looked down. He reached over and rubbed a scar below my neck. "Who hurt you? Better yet, who hurt something you love?" I met his eye and pulled his hand down.

"Me. And me," I told him honestly. I sighed and looked down again. He squeezed my hand tenderly, waiting for me to continue. "Sorry. I'm being cryptic. I'm confused. I saw that, Noah. I saw what you have with Jess. I saw the wedding. Throwing popcorn at each other. Having a baby. Growing old." I looked back up at my brother as tears threatened to spill again. "But I can't. I can't fall in love. Especially not with him!"

"Oh God, 'Nettie! Is it Tyler?" Noah asked in concern. I chuckled and shook my head. "Good because that would be weird. Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. But I don't want my girlfriend's brother dating my sister. If there's ever a fight, one sibling will turn to their partner and cause a big ol' family feud. I can't stand not being able to talk to you. Jess and Tyler went two months this past year; Jess often complained about it when we went to bed, but I didn't know how he took it. I didn't know they were siblings. That two month period was stressful to be around Jess and I never saw him. 'Nettie, I missed you. Forgive me for not staying in touch this past year." I giggled.

"Nothing to forgive, Noah. I missed you too. I've kissed him. It wasn't anything special. I didn't feel anything," I retorted and wiped my eyes. "I fell for a guy who told me he's head over heels for someone. I panicked earlier because it dawned on me while Jess was washing my hair. I can't be selfish and demand his attention; I'd ruin his happiness." I leaned into my brother and sobbed. He pulled me closer, turning his body so I could cry on his shoulder.

"Oh sweet, 'Nettie. You deserve to be happy too," Noah whispered as he rubbed my back. "So that's why you wanted to run? Love?" I nodded.

"It's a horrible thing. I'm so broken, Noah. I'm not ready to give my heart away. I can't even keep him at arm's length. I want to be in his arms. I'm afraid that because I'm only 17 he sees me as a child and could never take him seriously. Or that if I was interested in him, that I'd leave a few years down the road. I can't hurt him like that," I sobbed as I scrunched his shirt.

"Quick question, 'Nettie. Did you ever tell Will you loved him?" Noah asked after I calmed down some. I nodded; it seemed to be the only thing that Will demanded me to do and say. Noah continued, "did he ever say he loved you?" Again, I nodded. "Okay here's a tricky one. How did Will make you feel?" I paused and thought about it for a minute.

"Insecure. Pressured. Insignificant," I reflected as I sat up and looked at Noah, releasing his shirt and adjusting my robe again. "At the time, I thought it was normal."

"Did Will ever make you feel confident, strong, beautiful, or desired?" I shook my head. Noah grinned and lowered his voice, "how does this guy make you feel?"

"Safe. Warm. Welcome. Protected. I could keep going. I've never felt anything like it before," I replied. Noah dried my eyes.

"That's love, 'Nettie," he whispered and kissed my forehead and sat back. "He's a lucky guy. Do me a favor. Stick it out for a week. If it's too intense and you still want to run, I'll move you out myself. You're truly safe here. Pat, Josh, Tyler, and I won't let anything happen to you," Noah promised. I gave him a small grin. He stood up and grabbed my hand. He pulled me into a warm embrace. "We have found a place. 'Nettie, if we move you before Dad's case gets closed you are in danger again. Please don't let me lose you," he begged. I looked up at him before snuggling into his chest. 

"I'm not going anywhere," I promised. I leaned back and looked at him. "Any chance you guys got the makings for cookies?" He chuckled and put me back in my chair. He wheeled me slowly home.

"Tyler and I discussed your question. Over the course of about four hours you were dunked although I believe that you were above water more than you were under it, but he dunked you at least 96 times. You figure over 252 minutes, it's not that bad, but when you couldn't breathe anyways, those numbers are a lot more scary. I never counted more than 33 seconds when you were under. The last time I counted 16 seconds before you gave up and bubbles floated to the surface, 'Nettie. A full minute and change went by before that piece of scum moved away, walked out the door, and left you submerged. I immediately sent Adam out. You were under that water for just over two minutes. By the third or fourth time he gave you chest compressions, you came back. Annette. That's almost four minutes without air. You shouldn't be here right now," Noah cried. He stopped the wheelchair and came around and held me. "I already lost you. That was easily one of the worst weeks of my life, but those four minutes were by far the hardest to endure."

"I'm sorry I gave up. I couldn't fight anymore. If it makes you feel better, I didn't have an out of body experience. I still knew exactly where I was," I whispered. 

"I know, 'Nettie. I'm so proud of you. As to incriminating evidence on that tank, Tyler wiped our prints off of it. We only touched two spots," he whispered back and gave me a gentle hug. He stood up and wiped his eyes. 

"So how do we connect those wires again? Can I?" I asked. Noah shook his head.

"I don't know, 'Nettie," he replied sadly and bit his lip. "Let's just get through each day, one at a time. Now did you say something about cookies?" I grinned and he pushed me back towards the house. I chuckled and nodded. Tyler was sitting on the porch waiting for us.

"All good?" He asked. I nodded.

"Apparently, I just needed some quality brother time. Next time I promise to invite you," I grinned. He nodded at me.

"I'll hold you to it, sister dear. Want help, Noah?" Tyler inquired as he stood up. Noah must have said yes because Tyler came down the stairs and picked up my wheelchair. "So now what?"

"I'm staying here tonight. I can help out if she has another breakdown. And 'Nettie wants cookies. I think we can help her out," Noah teased as they carried me all of the way inside.

"You can put me down now!" I giggled. They joined in. I looked around the room. Everyone seemed to be on eggshells. I put my head down in guilt; I really messed up. "Noah, help me up please," I begged. Three voices protested and two chuckled as Noah helped me to my feet. "Please. I need to give everyone a hug. I'm sorry I was terrible and mean. Please no eggshells. I'm not mad. Promise." Tyler was the closest one to me. "You're first, brother dear. Well technically second. Noah got his outside." Tyler beamed and wrapped me up.

"Love you, 'Nettie," he whispered in my ear and passed me over to the next person.

"Josh, thank you. Really," I insisted as he gave me a side hug.

"Don't mention it. I wasn't leaving until you were back to yourself, Dimples," he stated. I chuckled, leaned back, and gave him the cheesiest grin I could muster. "That'll do! Thank you." Jess was next. I tried to hop over to her. "No you don't. Like you said there's no way I'll let you get hurt. After all, this muscle needs to feel productive," Josh teased as he picked me up. 

Jess wrapped both arms around my neck and squeezed tightly. "Don't you ever do anything like that again Sarah Annette! You had me so worried. Even Junior was concerned. She stopped moving when you went outside. Completely. I didn't even get one little baby squirm. Nothing. She's happy you're back though!" I giggled and wiggled out of her embrace. I held onto her wrist as I bent over and talked to her belly.

"I'm sorry, baby! I didn't mean to worry you. Auntie Net's okay. I promise," I baby talked and stood up. Jess giggled and gave me another hug. "I love you, sister. I'm sorry for causing you worry, Jess," I whispered. She kissed my cheek and pulled me in for yet another hug.

"All is forgiven. Just don't let it happen again," she ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," I replied with a grin. As I released her, I looked over her shoulder at Pat. I bit my lip then shook my head. I gave him a warm smile. He walked over with his phone held up.

"I thought you said you were going to hold this hostage until I talked to you," he teased. I let go of Jess, braced my weight against the counter, and faced him fully. "No hopping, doll," he warned as he closed the gap between us. I let go of the countertop and leaned into him. He caught me and bopped my nose. "Trouble," he teased. I grinned and wrapped my arm under his and held onto his shoulder blade. I buried my face in his chest and looked into the living room. I wasn't going to let everyone see me cry. Pat gently wrapped me in his arms and started rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry, Pat. You've been a gracious host. I shouldn't have been so willing to leave," I wept softly. He stroked my hair.

"Again, doll. Nothing to apologize for. Your hair is knotty," he teased.

"That's where I come in!" Jess danced. I held on tighter to Pat as I turned to look at her. I gave her a grin.

"And that means, boys, you're baking!" I exclaimed. I looked up at Pat's face, and he seemed to lose his color. I smiled and he returned it. "I decided I need cookies. Should have thought of that before you guys hung up." He shook his head and grinned.

"Alright. Guess we're making cookies. Annette, walk us through it!" He ordered as he pushed me down into the chair. I grinned. Noah and Josh chuckled. Jess danced down the hallway and brought back a brush and hair ties. Tyler seemed eager to have cookies but had no idea where to start. "Wash up, gents. We're going to be preparing the ladies a snack," Pat insisted as he led the way. 

I chuckled softly. This was what a real home feels like; where friends work together to make everyone feel welcome and safe. I looked up at Jess as she brushed my hair and grinned. Yes. This was home and I didn't want to share this experience with anyone else. I looked back at the boys and began giving them orders with high anticipations. My mouth watered as I watched them mix the cookie dough. The kitchen was full of laughter and love. There was no malice or hate; this new feeling baffled me, but I loved it. I looked at Noah and grinned. "Maybe love isn't that bad after all. I feel at peace. It's a strange feeling," I signed with my left hand subtly and painfully. He grinned.

"Told ya! Glad to see you working on that other hand. Take it slow and don't hurt yourself. You actually have time to heal and not worry about who may know," he signed back. I nodded. He grinned as Josh put a tray of cookies in the oven. "So 'Nettie, do you want some of this cookie dough," Noah inquired with a smirk. I nodded again. Pat took the opportunity to fill up a large spoonful of cookie dough.

"How bad, doll?" Pat teased as he walked over to me.

"Bad enough that I'll stand up and try and take it from you," I insisted, making a point of trying to stand up. I reached for the spoon and Pat pulled it out of my reach with a grin.

"I'm not done. Stay back," Jess demanded as she tugged my hair. Pat shrugged with a grin a he stuck one finger in the cookie dough, taking a dollop away. He teased me with it, waving it in front of my face.

"Hey!" I giggled. I grabbed his wrist and looked at him with a smirk as I bit my lip lightly. "I will you know." He grinned and pulled his hand back. I refused to let go, so he crouched down and stuck his finger in his own mouth. I scowled at him and released his hand. He bopped my nose and gave me the spoon. "About time. Thank you," I beamed as he chuckled.

"It is delicious, doll," Pat murmured as he stood up.

"Done!" Jess exclaimed. I took a bite of the cookie dough and sighed. "Annette, I think you should go to bed. You've had a long day," Jess asserted.

"I'm fine. I'm waiting for a fresh, warm cookie," I insisted through a yawn.

"Doll, she's right. You look peaked," Pat voiced in concern.

"When was the last time you had any pain medication?" Tyler asked. I bit my lip and looked down.

"Ibuprofen about four," Josh offered his input. I nodded; I haven't had anything for pain since. 

"I forgot about my pain," I confessed as I took another bite of the dough. Pat squinted his eyes at me slightly. "Well maybe not so much forgot as ignored." I looked down at my foot. "I don't want to acknowledge the pain because that means I have to take more pills," I admitted softly as a tear slid down silently. Pat crouched in front of me and dried my tears. I looked into his and held back a sob.

"Breathe, doll," Pat instructed. 

"I am!" I sobbed. I looked over at Noah. In and out. I took a deep breath and let it go. This wasn't working. I looked back at Pat and took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He wiped my tears again and grinned. I took another breath.

"Mesmerizing," Jess whispered after a minute of slow deep breaths. I looked back at her in surprise. She giggled. "You were about ready for that mask again. You did it, 'Nettie," she praised. I blushed and looked down. 

"Are you ready for bed, doll?" Pat asked as the timer went off. Josh pulled the cookies out and stuck another cookie tray in the oven. I shook my head. Pat chuckled, "trouble. Will you please take your pain pills?" I bit my lip. Josh brought me over a warm cookie. I looked at my spoon; it still had some dough on it. I transferred the spoon to my left hand and grabbed the plate, setting it on my lap. Pat took the spoon away and walked over to the sink. I picked up the cookie and took a bite. Pat brought me over a glass of water and a pain pill. "Doll, it's nearly 11:30. Stop fighting." I nodded and took another bite of the cookie. Pat shook his head and leaned against the counter. Josh handed out a warm cookie to everyone else.

"I'll sleep in a bit. We still have to talk, although you commandeered my hostage so," I trailed off.

"We'll talk, doll," Pat promised. I looked at his cookie. It was half gone already. I looked at mine. Only a quarter of it was gone. I took another bite. "They're delicious," he praised. I blushed. I looked around the kitchen. Everyone else was gone. I looked around. They had settled on the couch. Jess as tucked under Noah's arm and held onto Tyler's hand. Josh was relaxing in the armchair. Pat chuckled. "Doll, they're giving us a chance to talk. You're about ready to collapse. I'm not going to let you do that. What did you want to talk about?" I took another bite and sighed.

"I don't even remember," I confessed. "I just don't want to sleep." Pat chuckled and removed the plate from my lap and put the cookie on the plate. He pulled me up and wrapped me in a warm embrace. I snuggled into him. I bit my lip again. "This feels nice," I murmured. He chuckled. I yawned again and looked up at him. "Okay. Maybe you're right." I reached around him and grabbed the water. He turned his body to see what I was doing. I took a sip of the water and he gave me a whole oxycodone. I grinned and swallowed it. "Drugging me. I see how it is," I teased. He grinned.

"You need to sleep. If we have to drug you to make sure you do, we will. Do you want to sleep on your back tonight?" He asked I met his eye again and raised an eyebrow. "If you want to sleep on your side, your shoulder can't touch the bed," he explained as the buzzer went off for the cookies. I looked at the iven in shock. There was no way ten minutes had passed already. He picked me up and sat me on the counter then put on an oven mitt and took the tray out. He turned off the oven and came back over to me. He rested his hands on the sides of my legs. I looked around for the bowl of dough. Pat watched my confused gaze. "It's in the fridge. We'll bake more later. Annette, do you want to sleep on your back again?"

"No, I don't. What is your plan?" I asked hesitantly.

"Your brothers don't want you to sleep alone," he confessed, a slight blush on his cheek. "I told them about last night and how you seemed to sleep more soundly with someone beside you. I also told them how you hated waking up on your back. If you lay on your left side, with your shoulder tucked into ours, it should be fairly painless. We would have to prop ourselves up on two or three pillows." I bit my lip and looked down.

"And you want to know if I'm comfortable sleeping with one of you, if so which one?" I inquired. Pat nodded. I looked back up at him then looked at the others in the living room. I wouldn't take Noah away from Jess. I wouldn't want to be left alone with Josh, because even if he was helping me, I'm sure he would cross the lines unintentionally; he said so himself and that worried me. Tyler would be a good choice but not optimal. I looked back at Pat and bit my lip again. "I feel safest with you," I whispered as I blushed and looked down. 

"Only if you're comfortable with it, doll," he whispered as he pressed his head to my forehead. I met his eyes. The closeness of him made me shiver, reminding me of the ice I had on my ribs. I closed my eyes and lowered my head.

"I am," I confessed. "Close your eyes for a minute please," I begged. He chuckled and stepped back, with his eyes closed. I quickly removed the ice packs and set them on the counter behind me. "Okay. Thank you. Did you see your girl today?" 

"I did, doll. We talked. I thought it to be very productive," he admitted as he gazed upon me.

"Will this cause problems?" I asked. He chuckled again.

"No, doll. This is about caring for you, not about my future relationships," he murmured softly. I looked down and nodded my head slightly. He rubbed my legs softly and I met his gaze again. "You won't affect the relationship I may have some day. This is what you need right now. We won't even be under the same blanket, so there's no temptation. I know you're trying to look out for me, but I'm here for you right now. She'll understand. If she doesn't, then she's not the girl I thought she was. Don't worry about that or this though. You aren't forcing my hand. If anything, I'm forcing yours. If you're okay with it though, then it's not a problem. You're safe, doll, and won't be hurt again," Pat promised. I studied his eyes carefully. The emotion behind them was strong and powerful. Unable to speak, I nodded -breaking his gaze- and yawned. "Ready for bed?" I nodded again. I leaned into him. He rubbed my back. "Let's go to bed then, doll," he whispered. I looked around his kitchen.

"Do we need to clean up first?" I asked. He bopped my nose.

"You worry about the wrong things, doll. You're about ready to crash. You need to worry about getting to bed before you fall asleep here and crash on the floor," he rebuked softly. I agreed, these pain pills seemed to act quickly. He stroked my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his hand. "Come on." He cradled me in his arms and my robe opened up. I blushed, opened my eyes to look at it, and tried to cover up again. Pat kept his eyes on my face. "You're fine, doll. I'm going take you to the bathroom, then you're going to bed," he ordered. I snuggled into his shoulder and closed my eyes.

"Won't see me fighting," I yawned. "I'm done. Good night everyone!"

"Good night, Annette," the room chorused.

"I'll do kitchen clean up," Jess offered. 

"I'm out. Do you need a ride?" Josh asked. 

"Please," Tyler insisted.

"Just bed," I yawned again. "I can't keep my eyes open."

"You got it, doll," Pat whispered as he set me down. "Annette, do you want to take the robe off?" I opened my eyes and sat up. Pat grabbed the right sleeve and helped me slide it off. Then he hung it up on the closet door. I pulled the sheets up and once again, I lay back. Pat looked at the mirror and covered it with the sheet again, walked around the bed, and turned on the lamp. Then he tucked the white comforter around me. "I'll be back, doll." I nodded and looked up at the ceiling; the texture on it was starting to swirl and blur, but I refused to close my eyes.

"I'm not sleeping on my back," I whispered as I blinked slowly. When he came back, he had changed his clothes. Then he turned off the main light and shut the door. He came to the left side of the bed, took off his leg, set up a couple of pillows and lay down. He pulled a fleece blanket up to his waist and wrapped his arm around me. 

"Come here, doll," he coaxed. I scooted closer and bit my lip in pain. He grinned, slid his arm under my back, and picked me up. I grabbed his left hand with my right one and rolled over into his shoulder. He was right. There was a little pressure from his shoulder but no pain, much better than laying directly on the bed. I looked up at him and rested my hand on his chest. He rolled over, facing me.

"Thanks. This is much more comfortable," I whispered sleepily and closed my eyes again.

"You're welcome, doll. Go to sleep," he whispered and began to rub my right arm. The arm under me didn't move. 

"Yep, good idea," I thought as I smiled and drifted off into a blissful slumber.