30. Settling in

During the movie, Pat exaggerated his breathing and I tried to copy him. Slowly, my tears stopped falling. My chest burned and everything hurt. "Two pills a day," Jess had said. That meant 12 hour increments, and that I was looking at 11 pm before my next dose. I mentally groaned. We got about twenty minutes through the movie and Pat shifted beside me. I leaned forward. 

"I'm sorry. Is this an uncomfortable position for you?" I asked. He pulled me back into his chest.  

"Not at all, doll. This couch barely has any seams. I just was flexing. Believe it or not, my back still gets tied up in knots. The day of the mine field explosion still gets to me. Is this uncomfortable for you? You sure are squirming a bunch," he murmured in my ear. 

"No. Sorry. I didn't even know I was doing that. I keep trying to ignore my pain but it seems to be increasing. I was given some opioids but they just make me sleep. Stupid drugs. I was hoping to save my second dose today for when I called it a night," I replied as noticed I was fidgeting. "Guess you're right. Sorry." 

"Hey! Watching a movie here! Shhh," Josh chided from the reclining chair to our left. I chuckled. Pat untangled himself and stood up. He went to the kitchen. I looked back at the tv and watched the movie. Before I knew it, Pat was kneeling beside me. He opened his right hand, revealing two brick red pills. 

"Here you go, doll. Ibuprofen. It won't take your pain away, but it should help. You can have some Tylenol in about two hours. I remember the pain, but unlike you, I wallowed in it. I hated anyone who tried to help, but I demanded that they care for me. Then I got mad at them for accidentally touching the wrong area. These will help, and they won't affect your stronger stuff," he spoke softly. I hesitated. "Take them, doll. Or the pain will be too great and you'll pass out," he begged. I sighed and took a sip of my water, held it in my mouth, and popped the pills in. I swallowed the water and the pills at the same time.  

"Care to see?" I asked opening my mouth. He laughed and shook his head. 

"No, but I need you to close your eyes. I'm going to play with your foot again. Let me know what you feel," he instructed. 

"Yes, sir," I said sarcastically with a salute, put my head back, and closed my eyes. "You're tracing the cast. I'm not exactly sure if you're touching the cast or right by it; it's too light and it tickles," I giggled. "You just pressed under my middle toe on the pad of the foot. Baby toe, squeeze. Big toe, press. Stop! That tickles. I will kick you. No more tracing down the middle of my foot. I hate being tickled." Laughter filled the room as I paused and tilted my head. "Are you drawing on the top of my foot?" Pat chuckled again.

"You passed, doll. Keep your eyes shut. We're going to do the same thing on your arm. Last time you interacted with your father, you ended up with clots," he whispered as he moved beside me. I nodded and kept my eyes closed, but I leaned forward. He brushed my hair off of my right shoulder and it cascaded down my back. I bit the inside of my lip and shivered. His arms snaked slowly around my waist and he supported my arm with his as he undid the snaps. He kept his arm under mine as his other hand gently stroked up my right side, traced my shoulder blade, and finally rested on my shoulder. I released a breath of air with a grin and bit the corner of my lip as I lowered my chin to my chest. The sling released and he moved his hand across the base of my neck as he gathered my hair in his hand - pulling it all over my left shoulder, and his hand paused on my edge of my neck as he ran his finger up and down it. I shifted my hips and brought my knees together. He continued to lightly trace my shoulder and stopped on the joint. Preparing for pain, I flinched. "I haven't started yet, doll, but I'm going to move your arm around slightly okay?" I nodded and clamped down on my lip tighter. The hand on my shoulder grasped the joint as the hand holding my arm lifted it slowly up, out, left, right, and finally down again, pressing against my diaphragm, his arm holding it securely. "Okay ready, doll?" I nodded again. "Let's start with what you feel now?" 

"Aroused," Josh interjected. I blushed, Pat cleared his throat. "Oh sorry! You weren't talking to me?" 

"No! Say it ain't so? This is just.... different. Don't make this awkward. Stop, 'Nettie. Josh is a lost cause, everything is sexual. You know this. Deep breath," I rebuked myself mentally.

"Quiet in the peanut gallery. Watch your movie," Pat ordered at the same time.

"Thank you!" I thought. 

"Doll?" 

"Right! Focus on every little thing. Can I feel anything going on with my arm or is it my imagination? I'm not aroused; I'm in pain. Pat's helping. Yep. And that's his finger, which one? Ha! Okay. Now what is he doing? He's helping and looking for an answer. Right," I reflected internally. I took a deep breath and let it out. "Pain. Everywhere. However, I can feel your thumb stroking the top of my arm. You just drummed two fingers on the bottom of my arm. Your other hand is pressed lightly on the shoulder joint, resting not hurting," I told Pat honestly. 

"Good this should be fairly easy then," he stated. I could tell he was smiling. I took a deep breath and released it slowly. His hand slowly came off my shoulder. "I want you to tell me everything you feel. Got it, doll?" I nodded.

"Bicep, press. Triceps, small circles. Elbow, cupping it in your hand? Did you just blow on my shoulder?" I asked. Something pressed just below my shoulder joint, but I still felt the air moving. I blushed and leaned into him. "Uh, press just below the joint?" 

"Flying colors," Pat whispered in my ear as I felt the strap of the brace brush across my back as he moved his hand back to my right shoulder. "You can open your eyes now, doll. I need you to cradle your arm. I need both of mine to hook you up again." I cradled my arm, opened my eyes, and looked at him. His face was almost touching mine, I'm sure if he tilted his chin down a bit, his nose would rub against my cheek. However, he didn't move even a little. I held my breath as I stared into his eyes. He grinned and it met his eyes, making them twinkle. "Almost done, doll," he breathed as he lowered both his hands down to my right side. He kept his face close as he wrapped the strap around my waist. "Breathe, doll." I took a deep breath and held it. He rested his hand on my diaphragm. "Let it out," he ordered as moved his head next to my ear. I shivered and let my breaths out in spurts. "Doll," Pat warned. "Why are your muscles spazzing?" He pressed against my diaphragm. I took a sharp breath and released it. He took a deep exaggerated breath. "Come on, doll. With me. In and out." In-two-three-four-five. Out-seven-eight-nine-ten. Again. And repeat. "Mask, doll?" I shook my head and closed my eyes. 

"Pat, you bad man," Josh implied. I wearily opened my eyes, and looked over at him. He rubbed his inner thigh and grinned. I rolled my eyes and looked back at the movie. I saw Josh make some more movements out of the corner of my eye. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. In-two-three-four-five. Out-seven-eight-nine-ten. Repeat. Pat pulled me in closer, I listened to his heartbeat. In-two-three-four-five. Out-seven-eight-nine-ten. Repeat. Pat stroked my hair and grabbed my hand with his left hand. 

"Doll, what's going on?" Pat murmured. 

"Body's... shutting... down..." I gasped. 

"No it's not. Come on, doll. In and out," he ordered. I took another breath. In-two-three-four-five. Out-seven-eight-nine-ten. "Take a sip of water, doll." I nodded, opened my eyes, and sat up. I reached for my water. Instead I leaned over and coughed. Pat gently rubbed my back. When the coughing spell passed, I sat up, took a deep breath, and rested my forearm on top of my head trying to expand my lungs. Pat reached behind me and grabbed the water. He switched it to his left hand and offered me a drink as his right hand rested on my diaphragm again. I took a small sip and he put it back. He moved to the left side of the couch, pulling me with him. He positioned his right leg on the back of the couch beside me. I nestled into his arms again and closed my eyes as I lowered my hand. He grabbed my hand and rubbed my arm. In-two-three-four-five. Out-seven-eight-nine-ten. "Good, doll. Your muscles aren't constricting any more," Pat praised as my breathing regulated and I felt sleep was calling. The couch shifted by my feet. I opened my eyes again and leaned forward, but my vision was blurry and I couldn't make anything out. Pat pulled me back into his chest and whispered in my ear, "give in, doll. You've earned some sleep." I nodded, turned my head to the back of the couch, continued to listen to his heartbeat, and my eyes slowly closed. 

"Breathing will be the death of me," I slurred. "Sorry I ruined your movie time." 

"Annette, you're fine. Rest," Pat's voice tapered off. Blackness surrounded me. It pressed on my body and made it impossible to move, but I wasn't out yet. Time passed slowly and quietly. The tv was turned down. After approximately ten minutes of fighting with my head to let me drift off, the silence was broken. 

"Seriously? Arouse and crash? You could've at least gotten the release first," Josh snickered in delight. "I needed about five more minutes and I would've been golden!" 

"Dude, you need a girlfriend," Pat chuckled. 

"And so do you my friend. Just ask," Josh countered. Their voices began to echo in my head, becoming more and more distant with each syllable; I must be dreaming up this conversation it was just too weird. 

"I wish I could take her pain away," Pat murmured. 

"She looks... the pain... eyes... know her," Josh insisted as his voice cut in and out.

"Yep. Definitely a dream. I never show my pain," I concluded silently as the darkness finally overtook my body and erased all sights, sounds, and smells.