19. New day

The morning came quickly. Noah slumbered peacefully next to the wall. I felt guilty about making him stick around. I looked at my limp left hand. It was still positioned on a pillow. I took my right arm across my body and cradled my left arm to my chest as I sat up. The action caused me to suck in a quick, sharp breath, and bite my lip in pain. Once the pain subsided some, I began to gently rub my left arm, making sure I could feel it. My fingers tingled as I massaged the hand, but I was grateful I could feel everything. I looked at the clock on the wall to my left. It read 8:07. This was the latest I woke up in a while. Janell came in to check on me. "Oh good! You're awake! Have you been up long?" She whispered, taking note of Noah still sleeping. 

"Good morning! No, ma'am. I just woke up. You have impeccable timing," I replied in the same hushed tone. 

"I just got here. The night shift said you slept through the night. They checked you a few times and changed your medication twice. Your brother hardly slept; he apparently was making sure you kept breathing, but it was necessary. The nurses said they were thankful for his help. Apparently, they were a little busy last night. Better safe than sorry. Let's check your vitals, Annette," Janell chirped softly. I nodded. She began to look me over. After a few minutes of silence, she spoke up again. "So Lauren told me you had another incident last night before she left. Scared her, you did. I'm glad that you weren't alone though. Do you know what happened?"

"It's possible my ribs were wrapped too tight; I didn't have any more problems after the band was taken off. Will I be able to take a shower today?" I begged. 

"If your vitals hold steady, you don't have another incident where you require oxygen or surgery, and your blood results come back clean, then yes. You can take a shower today. We'll plan it for about three. It's quieter after lunch and I leave at four. This will give us a little bit of time to see if everything is holding up. Do not try to to take one by yourself," she warned in a low voice. I nodded; I wouldn't try to make it to the bathroom by myself. Even though it was barely 12 feet away from my bed, I knew it would mean disaster and severe pain if I attempted on my own, especially since there was nothing to hold onto between me and the bathroom. "If you feel up to moving around, we can plan on taking out your catheter soon too. You will require help getting in and out of bed of course. I would also recommend that you at least get help to the bathroom door." I nodded again.

"Go ahead and take it out now. Progress. Gradual steps. I'm ready to do things on my own," I admitted.

"Well. Annette, I don't recommend it, but we'll try it. Later. I'd rather wait until your support was up," Janell murmured as she looked over at my brother again, grabbed the paper with Pat's phone number on it, and wrote her number. "Normally, we would discourage overnight visitors. I think it's wise of you to have him stick around. Sometimes, like last night, us nurses can get a little busy. Here's my number - I put a star next to it so you won't get it mixed up with this other number. Call me if anyone says anything about it. You're my patient. I insisted to care for you, and I have seniority. It's the only way I can thank you, Annette. You truly are a remarkable person. Thanks for saving my Lo and her new boy toy. The house was so empty without her checking in every few hours or so. I couldn't imagine life without her. God! I hope she doesn't want to go away for college next year. I'd miss her too much." 

"I'm happy to be of assistance, Mrs. Malloy. I bet no matter where Lauren goes to college, she'll still call you daily. I've seen how close you two are," I told her honestly.

"You're a sweetheart. Thank you and please, call me Janell. Now, your arm is free from its sling right now so we're drawing blood today. When we're done with that, your arm is going back in the sling and you are going to limit the mobility of your shoulder. How's your pain tolerance today? And can you feel this?" Janell asked inquisitively, running her pen up and down my right foot. I giggled.

"Yeah, it tickles. I'm really sore and stiff. I want to get out of bed and stretch. Well, mainly, I just want to get out of bed. I can't afford to stay in the hospital, even if it is for the best. By the way, last night, after my episode, I felt sluggish and drugged. Did the nurse up my morphine? I was dizzy and I couldn't focus. I'm not sure if it's just my body trying to heal or if the morphine was too high or what. I just know it wasn't right. I was put on oxygen and felt better after the mask was off," I replied as Janell looked at my machines.

"Huh. Everything looks normal. I'm happy to hear that you can feel your foot. We can put a permanent cast on it later this afternoon, assuming the swelling goes down. I'll be back. I'm going to get the blood drawing equipment. By the way, you had an anonymous sponsor. They covered your entire stay for two weeks plus whatever tests need to be run, plus six months of physical therapy. Whatever is left over was instructed to be given to you in a refund check. You're set, hun, really. But we'll get you out of here as soon as possible," Janell stated as she covered my leg back up with the blanket then left. So I wasn't imagining things; Tyler's dad really did come through and pay my bill. I shuddered at the thought of how much it would total up to be. She came back in as quickly as she left. She had two baskets. "One basket for blood and such, the other for a sponge bath and a new change of clothes," she explained kindly, noticing my quizzical stare as she opened the curtain between me and my brother. She walked around the bed, peeled back the two bandages on my arm and looked, at the stitches underneath. Satisfied, she covered them back up again. "I figured for now, we can make do with a simple sponge bath. We'll wash your hair later. I'm sure you'll be surprised how quickly you feel worn out. Now, let's do the bath first. I need to see if I need to wrap your ribs again. I think though, that it'll be better to leave them unconstricted for a bit longer. I understand that makes the pain slightly worse, but at the moment, it's all about making sure you can breathe."

"Yes, ma'am. How can I help?" I asked sincerely. 

"Don't try and hide your pain. If I hurt you, speak up. If a certain area is more sore than another, I need to know," Janell spoke quickly. I nodded and she helped me take off my top. Quickly, she soaped up a rag in warm water and gently scrubbed my beaten and broken body. She gave me a towel and I dried everything as quickly as I could. She finished before I was halfway done, and she took a second towel and patted the rest of me dry.

"Can we put some more Icy Hot on?" I asked gesturing to the table beside her. She nodded, put on a glove, and gooped up my shoulder, ribs, and hip. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome. Alright, before I put your shirt back on, I have to touch all these bruises, hun. Let me know if I'm hurting you more," she ordered. I nodded but didn't say anything as she lightly pressed against all my welts. When she pushed against my back on the left side and I sucked in another sharp breath. "Right here, Annette?" She pressed again and I nodded. "It's hardly bruised which means this injury isn't skin deep. Kidney. Seriously? Ugh Why isn't there blood in your urine? Sorry, hun. No shower later. We need to monitor you longer."

"Why? There's nothing you can really do for a kidney injury. Bed rest mainly. I'll let you know if there's blood in my urine," I protested.

"Annette, I understand you want to get out of here, but it's for your own good. Please, just let me and the rest of the hospital staff take care of you," Janell insisted as she helped me put a shirt back on.

"Yes, ma'am," I conceded. "I'll stay as long as needed, but I'd much rather be in my own bed. I much rather be miserable at home then here in the hospital. Plus, if today is the 12th, I'm going to need some feminine products soon, like in the next two days or so. So that'll really throw a wrinkle in the mix." Janell chuckled at me and brought over the other basket. 

"Let's worry about that later. I can see you're determined to move on your own, so we'll help you all we can. We'll get you in a permanent cast and take your catheter out, then you can try to get on your feet. With assistance."

"All today? All before you get off work?" I asked with a hint of excitement.

"No promises, hun," Janell chuckled at me again as she prepared to draw blood. "But we will shoot for the next 48 hours. You can have some food today. What do you want for breakfast? Scrambled eggs or oatmeal? Slight pinch."

"Eggs, no coffee," I confirmed. "So since I'm getting real substance, does that mean I'll be cleared to leave if I get a BM?" She tilted her head slightly.

"Yes, that is one of the goals we have to get you out of here. Everything has to fall in place though. We can probably send you away with a portable oxygen tank just to be on the safe side. Your friends are sure helpful and seem to know what to do to help you out," Janell replied as she removed the tourniquet. 

"Want me to hold a cotton ball there?" She nodded again handing me one as she pulled out the needle. I pressed the cotton ball against the blood coming out. She put the stuff away.

"Ok, let's bandage it up and sling your arm again. You really are an easy patient. Are you sure you don't need more pain meds or anything? I also think we should ice some of your body today. Chest, shoulder, and leg for sure," Janell remarked. I grinned. She was acting like a mother hen, clucking about and keeping me in line. 

"Really. I'm fine. Thank you. I would just like to get out of here. A change of scenery would be nice," I admitted with a small chuckle and she joined in, securing my shoulder sling.

"Ok. We're all done for now. I'll be back with breakfast. If your body behaves, then we'll talk about getting the other things taken care of. And as long as there's no blood in this bag when I dump it later, to an extent, you can be a free woman again," she promised as she opened up the curtain; Noah was still sleeping soundly. Janell smiled kindly at me as she gathered her things and left. I picked up Tyler's phone. It still had 50% of it's battery power left. Surely there was something in on this phone that could help me pass the time. I scrolled through the contacts. Only two numbers had been programmed into it: Noah's and Jess'. There were no pictures. No games. Internet was available if I turned on the data, but I had no desire to play on the internet. I sighed and put it down.

I looked at the table of gifts again. I wished I could get closer to look at them all. I picked up the phone again and snapped a picture of it. Then I snapped a picture of my brother sleeping. Then I took a picture of the bear laying beside me. Finally, I took one of myself. As I studied the picture, I felt disgusted. My face was sunken, making my cheekbones more prominent and dark bags under my eyes. I had easily lost 15 pounds in this past week. My right side of my face was yellow and olive green. My left eye was still purple and blue, but it wasn't swollen any more. The broken blood vessel took away all of the white part in my eye and made my blue brighter, but I didn't feel confident with how I looked. I knew I looked revolting. The bruise on my jaw was gray, surrounded by a mustard yellow, with purple spots scattered throughout. No wonder Lauren brought makeup last night! Not that she used any, but I was hideous. A tear slipped out of my eye. I was never big on my appearance, but I couldn't understand how everyone could keep coming in and acting like there was nothing wrong with me. Or even keep eye contact without looking at me with pity. When Janell brought me breakfast, I questioned her about it, crying, "why is no one disgusted with the way I look? Nobody seems to mention it, but it's clearly visible. I get they're being respectful, but I also know that this is the face nightmares are made of."

Janell softly patted my left cheek. "Sweetheart, everyone knows that this isn't your fault. We all know that you are beautiful inside and out. Right now, your inner beauty shines through. Your face will heal. Sure, it's scary what happened to you, but people come to visit you because you're you. Not because of how you look. The guys all seem like they want to hurt someone when they leave your room. Lauren feels remorseful; she said she was going to try and get a hold of Renae. Friends are best for you. Nobody likes to see you like this, and you're not alone," she admitted moving around to the other side of the bed. "But everyone knows you can pull through. If you need me, this button will summon me," Janell finished, looping a wired button through the bedrails, setting it beside my right hand. I nodded.

"Thank you," I spoke quietly. She patted my hand tenderly and left again. I pulled up my picture on the phone again. "Good morning, Sunshine. Your friends feel guilty when they leave this room. It's up to you to make sure they know how grateful you are that they're here. No signs of pain. Be strong, but not for just you any more. Let the world see they can't tear you down. Smile more. You got this. Today is going to be a good day," I whispered and closed the phone. Janell had positioned the table in front of me and I happily began to eat real food. Yes, today was going to be a good day and I was going to accomplish all of my tasks. Starting with eating an actual meal.