A Simple yet Complex Philosophy

May 18, 2008

I was doing some thinking and realized I have not written in this book for a while.  It was about time to jot some things down that have been happening to me in this crazy reality and how I have handling stuff.  Before I do those things I just want to get one thing straight, I am pretty sure this might turn into an autobiography one day.  Some schmuck in the future is going to find this little book and plan to publish it one day or even start a damn religion based on a normal person who has done barely anything with his life.  It might even be a best seller one day/  Or, which will probably happen, just stay with me for the rest of my life and never seen by anybody remotely interested.  To be quite frank I am not sure if this a diary or a journal.

A diary is something you write you deepest feelings in and express yourself the way you want to be expressed.  A journal is a book that you write what has happened on a certain of your life and how reacted to series of instances.  So I would say this book would be more of an autobiography, it’s go the best of both worlds.  I catch myself reading past entries, and I ask myself “was I that messed up?”  It’s amazing how we all become part of the system.

A system that does not seem to fail.  A system that seems to have no end and no beginning.  All we know is that the system works, and that the rich stay rich, the poor stay poor, and everybody takes a piece of the pie.  I guess that’s what you’re supposed to do in order to make it and become successful.  We know the system has prevailed over countless attempts to change the system, and we know that rational critical thinking people who have invented and remain in control of the system pass down their inherited genetic makeup so that the next generation can carry the superstructure as far as it can go.  So if you take a look at it this way, the system never changes.

Behind fancy new words and fascism, it is all the same old people trying to fight so that things remain unchanged.  And it is true that people don’t change overnight.  It is very difficult for a person to completely change his or her own behavior or the way they think.  People get set in their own ways where they develop habits (good and bad) and they don’t want to try and change.  And there in lies the system, the unchanging machine that gets it gears polished every once and a great while.

Why am I even talking about this?  I think for the fact that I am in-between man.  I see the strengths and weaknesses of structure and complete anarchy at the same time.  I see black and white not in just the way society is built, but in my own habits and behaviors.  I believe by doing this you develop gray areas where you start to see situations that could benefit yourself, where personal and duty become intertwined, and you can things that can be manipulated from both ends.  I am not sure if this might be right or wrong, all I know that it is something.  Something cannot be looked over.  Some people do not even see it which makes it easier for people like me to just be.  And that is exactly what I am, an entity that exist to just exist.

I know for certain people this might be difficult to comprehend but it is what I know.  I know how to take situations to benefit the situation, not the person or the business or even the world.  It’s weird but it’s how I think.  In this shape people say that I just exist.  And it might be.  I take the situation and run with it day to day.  That’s how I behave and act.  I can feel despair and enjoyment at the same time because I think about these words and what they mean while I am figuring out how the situation is unraveling itself.  So in this sense you begin to just exist.  

At times when responsibilities become more predictable and there is something definite becoming apparent I get an upset stomach.  Of course this could be that I am growing up to become a more responsible adult.  It is hard to deny feelings of becoming older.  The thing is do I really want it, whatever it might be.  I guess the only way I could know is when it actually happens.  And when it does happen, I better be ready and prepared.  But I guess that is what happens, we all have to be prepared for the worst and the best.  That is the only way we as humans know how to define character and how responsible we are.

Duty reflects who you will become in the future.  Actions speak louder than words.  And we all perform tasks that benefit not only our employers, but the services we give to others.  Thus creating the system.  The system that creates assets, products, and liabilities so that we can benefit the service of the system.  And trust me when I say this life is good in the system.  You get all benefits that are required of you.  You reap your rewards from the actions of your performance.  And how well you perform will even make you climb the totem poll of success.  We even have educational institutions that can enhance how well you perform and correct critical errors that hinder performance.

An example of myself is how well I speak.  You see I am a stutter and I am actually placed automatically at a lower speaking performance than most people in the world.  Then there are the people who deny the system altogether.  They are the ones who refuse to be assets and disbelieve that people are entirely expendable.  And as anyone can see the reap no rewards because they choose not to play the game.  They believe that performance does not create the man, that the man is completely defined by its own self, the mind.  How they think, their character is what sets them apart from anybody else, especially ones that exist and work in the system.  These are the people who live outside the norm and will deliberately preach that their lifestyle and beliefs ultimately gives them freedom.

And then there’s people like me who live just to live.  We exist to merely live.  We play in the system and use it to our advantage to just get by on the things that are handed to us.  I wouldn’t say that we are successful or the most free, or the best possible way to live, or the only way to truly reap the rewards, we just are.  We might not be the motivated nor we might not be the ones that try the hardest, we do what has to done in order to do.

Definitions are clearly just definitions and both sides of the never ending system ploy different answers to make the other side seem more likely and the right thing to do.  As of right now I am just writing what I know, I might be right or wrong.  I am writing for the moment and there is no reason behind this entry.  Just to gain insight and reflect upon the other beings like me who are members of my family.  They all have roles to play and I am the only one is rankles.  To be quite frank I like it like that.  I like the feeling of being unimportant.  That way I can cause no drama and I don’t have to play a significant source.

And in reality we have no significant sources, because we are born, we live, and then we die.  The system attempts to create ventures and goals that we should all strive for, most of time it is for current currency and to have fruitful meaningful lives.  Monetary gain with lively careers, and certain individuals choose not to accept and live outside of what people inside the system consider the norm. 

People like me play both sides of the spectrum.  We are the pendulum that swings both ways with no hidden agenda in mind.  We play the field when it is called for, we wait and be patient with the game, we let things work out on their own accord with no cosmic disturbance.  But we all need to put on our faces to protect ourselves, because people will never understand how a person who does not actually exists thinks and feels.  We feel and we think of everything as it plays out.  We do not change, we only to try to aware others.  We see and notice disaster as it comes as well as revealing rewards that might around the corner.  We see all and know all because at times we feel that it has happened before and we can let the situation benefit other situations.  We do benefit causes, we more so benefit ourselves from the actions recoursed from others.  We take opportunities and play them out till the end where either come to a standstill or continue into changing situations.  We ride the spiral of our limited right until the day comes to rest.  And when it does we will smile and say that we lived as well.  

Michael P. Nicorata

“Nothing but an echo, the life lifeless.”

“I adapt in order to live.” 

Taken from the Afterward of

1984 by George Orwell:

It is one of the most characteristic and destructive developments of our own society that man, becoming more and more of an instrument, transforms reality more and more into something relative to his own interests and functions.  Truth is proven by the consensus of millions; to the slogan “how can millions be wrong” is added “and how can a minority of one be right.”  Orwell shows quite clearly that in a system in which the concept of truth as an objective judgment concerning reality is abolished, anyone who is a minority of one must be convinced that he is insane.