All of MeA Story by MyrnaThe sweet scent of forbidden love is in the air, but she finds herself finally allowed.
In high school, I was more known for my comic relief, than my awkwardness in intimate situation. When it came to talking to boys it was more of a stutter and me ending the nonexistent conversation with: "So, how do you feel about the color purple?" Then walking away, hoping to never see his beautiful face again. I walked the dim, dingy high school halls with a constant devastation in the pit of my belly. All these attractive boys, all these happy couples, and I find myself alone with another year added to the being single tally.
Coming into college I found a brand new attitude: I am a damn hot b***h. So, it didn't work as well as I hoped, because instead I fell for a man my sister had sexual relations with and is now one of her good friends. So, I found my self lost in his dark blue eyes and wanting to give him everything, regardless of him denying me, but I never exactly lost my damn hot b***h attitude. I never closed my eyes to the sea of college boys that surrounded me, but I may have closed my heart, until someone save me. It started with a hand shake. I was moving into the dormitories with my best friend by my side. In the elevator, by a beautiful consequence, we stood next to our Resident Assistant, which was a person who would live on our floor to help us, guide us, and keep us under control. Anyway, all my hopes and dreams were fulfilled for a male RA who was dreamy and rambunctious. "What floor are you ladies headed to?" He asked looking to the buttons on the elevator. "Third." Jamie and I said at the same time. Chuckling he pushed the button and turned to us with a grin, holding his hand out. "Well, I'm Eric your RA." He shook Jamie's hand then mine, but the doors opened as our hands met and instead of letting go, cutting the hand shake short, he guided us off the elevator still latched to my hand. It was a minor, but very beautiful moment for me, since boys rarely ever show they are willing to touch me, even anything as minor as a handshake. Finally releasing my hand I looked into his bright blue eyes and knew this year was going to be magical. Thus, my happy ending crashes before my eyes as I come to find out that RA, resident relationships are a complete and utter no-no. Alas, I am no rule breaker nor was I any where near his league, so it was a flimsy dream gone up into smoke, and no deeper disappointment for my poor, gray heart. I could still dream, right? Fantasize about our secret relationship. I believe I was using my sweet RA's face to distract me from another man's touch, but Eric's effects were wearing off as he turned out to not be as magical as I first thought. First semester was mostly good. Hypnotists, haunted tours, Christmas dinner, and hall council meetings he was nothing, but charming. There were a few hiccups in my relationship with my RA as my awkwardness resurfaced and I making a situation uncomfortable or unbearable. That was what I did, I wasn't a confident charming beauty, I was a confusing hot mess, whose brain shuts down when looking a beautiful man in the face. Come second semester, I found myself in a whole new place with my RA. He only had to make a couple snide comments that he didn't give much thought, but I couldn't stop steaming over. I would, of course, get past my anger and be civil with my RA, but he was no longer Mister Dreamy and now was an unsuitable distraction. Luckily I found a different distraction and was able to find the common sense to move on from the first mister unattainable. With my second semester of my first college year coming to an end, I find my RA redeeming himself slightly, with promises of doughnuts and gift baggies. I find myself pondering a sassy, confident way to say goodbye. Say farewell in such a way that my name will linger in his brain. That years from now he think back to Wheeler hall and how he had that one resident that he never really paid attention to, but really surprised him in the end. So here is our end: Jamie was already gone. She was packed up and moving over to another dorm on campus for her summer job. I on the other hand was waiting last minute to move out, not looking forward to living out of my car for the summer. I was living in the dorms again next year, but had no where to live during the summer. Since my job is here, I decided I would crash at my sisters, but all my things would be in my vehicle. I wondered the three little rooms I had called home for a whole nine months and sighed as I looked to the door. All the colorful furniture was gone, the posters stripped from the walls. Everything was tasteless and lifeless. I can't say I'll miss these three little rooms, but I would miss the people who once would sweep in and out as they pleased. Opening my hand to reveal my key, I knew it was time to say goodbye to Eric. His door was propped open, waiting for key returns. He had already checked over the room for damages as he helped me load the last of my boxes into my car. I informed him I needed a minute more in my room, but really it was to work up the courage for the bold move I was about to make. Eric's room was also empty save the table he set up for the keys he would collect from his residents and a few boxes still scattered the room. He stood over his mini fridge, mopping up water that escaped. I had just walked into his room, my hands behind my back. "Eric?" I said softly getting his attention. He turned to me with a bright smile and I gave him a half smile. Trying for a sexy face I was glad there wasn't a mirror for me to accidentally look in. "Oh hey! You ready now?" He held out his hand for the key. Bringing forward my right arm I dropped the key in his palm. He threw it on the table in a little box labeled "303". "I have something else for you." I said slowly, biting my lower lip. He raised an eyebrow and waited. "Hold out your hand." He did. I cupped my empty hand under his and brought my left arm forward. "Since this is the only kiss I can give you," opening my hand a Hershey's kiss fell from mine and into his. "I suppose it'll have to do." I sounded confident, I sounded almost seductive. I took my hands away from him and folded them in front of me, waiting for his reply. He stared at the kiss and I couldn't read his face. "You're checked out right?" "Yes." "All your stuff in moved from your room?" "Yes." "And you just handed in your key. So, that makes you my resident no longer." Was he taking this where I thought he was taking it? Stepping to me, he dropped the chocolate kiss and instead took my face in his hands. Tilting my face, our lip met and I thought I would pass out from shock. "Hey Er-" Taylor, another one of his residents came bursting through the open door. Her mouth hung open in complete and utter shock, I just giggled. "You have my number." I stepped back from him and swept past Taylor, leaving Eric to explain what she just witnessed. This is the part where I exit in slow motion with a mischievous grin on my face. Pressing my whole body against the door at the bottom of the steps, I slide my sun glasses on and drive off satisfied with the mark I have left. But this is just another one of my silly day dreams. I have no romantic feelings for my RA, I guess in the end I just really want a guy to see how awesome I am and want me. Want me with an ache in his bones and tingle in his soul, where whenever he thinks of me he can't retain the goofy smile. Want me with the same force that I want them. For once not have the feelings be so one sided. Every love story has two people, except mine.
© 2014 MyrnaAuthor's Note
|
Stats
82 Views
Added on April 15, 2014 Last Updated on April 15, 2014 AuthorMyrnaMIAboutM thing is romance, and now that I am i a seriously committed relationship, my thing is still romance. It's real, it's worth waiting for, but first you must love yourself before you love another. more..Writing
|