Eyes Wide Open

A story of a prostitute who found love

 

 

Entrapped with this life,she’d created.

Accepting, fate had her pinned as doomed.

Dreams once dreamed, eternally faded.

Her heart protected, tightly cocooned.

 

On love, devoted her every desire.

Her love freely given,never returned.

Her eyes now sealed shut,by soul’s hot fire.

Unseen fate, will soon have the tables turned.

 

Passion for money,with a very stiff price.

Taunted by daylightand trapped by the night.

Discontent, no pleasure by everything nice.

A proposition, she should’ve thought twice!

 

A change was, slowly growing within her.

A new life, cradling destiny inside.

As if pure fate, birthed the perfect cure.

Waves of emotion,flow like the rising tide.

 

Her eyes now wide open,of what she must do.

This life she’d been living, now left behind.

A surge of devotion,to try something new!

She was no longer numb and no longer blind.

 

While holding her daughter,so precious and small.

A promise was made,true till the end of time.

"My heart I saved, now to you I give it all.

My life, my devotion,with my eyes wide open!"

 

 

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Emotional transition of the character from darkness to light and then the resolution to stand, for the sake of a young life. The poem relates it in very strong and profound words, a poetic metamorphosis that ends with perceived triumph over flaws. Great theme, impact and composition.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you for seeing exactly what my point of the poem was! Thank you!

[olla]

I have read this several limes.. I feel the deep emotion in it.. I can't seem to get the flow of the words to fit the depth of feeling here.. I don't know what I need to do to fully grasp the authors passion..

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I will take the time to read over it again and see if I am able to add more flow, without compromising my intentions. Thank you for your review.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have rewritten the piece, thank you for your advice. I do listen to every review. Hope this added a much needed flow to it.

[olla]

oh yes.. this is very good.. we often sell our souls way too cheep and by bits and pieces until that one moment when we aer finally able to see clearly.. and often it is in the eyes of the beloved that we find our road to redemption.. well done..

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you, this was my hope.

[w]

Nothing seemed forced and the flow was consistent.

[Zombie Waffle]

I THINK I understand what you're going for - though I felt the need to turn off the music - in which case this is a nice piece.
By the way, is there a reason that the title spells wide with a h?

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have fixed the typo;)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

I write all different ways and to all type of people. I always write with one thought in mind; Positive outcomes are as simple as a change of view. Truly it is ALL how you look at life. My hope is everyone that reads my poetry learns to; relax, breath, think, understand and find a little peace.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

Wow! I have chills!...this piece really touches the core of my emotions! The music lends to the mystique and drama of this write, but the story truly captivates with or without it. This has a mesmerizing flow as I read it. Such an uplifting message at the end. Excellent work!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I write all different ways and to all type of people. I always write with one thought in mind; Positive outcomes are as simple as a change of view. Truly it is ALL how you look at life. My hope is everyone that reads my poetry learns to; relax, breath, think, understand and find a little peace.

[Robbie~xoxo~]

You have accomplished that in this piece. Breathtaking. :)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

thank you;) such kind words.

[Cole Hayley]

wow, incredible melody. The grammar is perfect ( well as far as I can see) and the content is flawless, a great read and an incredible piece of work. Well done

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

You are too kind, though the flawless part I know was not there, thus I has rewritten it. Thank you again for your kind words.

[Dean Kuch®]

this was such an honest and touching piece, so I know you want to make it pur-r-r-r-r-r-fect! On the first line, at beginning of the fourth stanza, you wrote:"...A change had accrued deep within her..." Did you intend this, or did you mean ..."occurred" deep within her?"... I say this not to be overly critical, but because this piece is note worthy and begs to be read.
A wonderful, extremely touching piece of work!...

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you so much as that is the point of a review;), The change has been made. Again, thank you! ;)

[Dean Kuch®]

Happy to have helped. And again, great writing...keep it up!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

;) I will write as long as the blood flows though my veins, this is what heals me of life’s undeserved pain.

[MOON]

Beautiful write flows so well and music accompanying it lovely

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the positive ending to the poem. Life teaches to appreciate the real valuable things in the end. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Falling Leaf.]

A lovely piece! I simply adore it. No other words.