Eyes Wide Open

A story of a prostitute who found love

 

 

Entrapped with this life,she’d created.

Accepting, fate had her pinned as doomed.

Dreams once dreamed, eternally faded.

Her heart protected, tightly cocooned.

 

On love, devoted her every desire.

Her love freely given,never returned.

Her eyes now sealed shut,by soul’s hot fire.

Unseen fate, will soon have the tables turned.

 

Passion for money,with a very stiff price.

Taunted by daylightand trapped by the night.

Discontent, no pleasure by everything nice.

A proposition, she should’ve thought twice!

 

A change was, slowly growing within her.

A new life, cradling destiny inside.

As if pure fate, birthed the perfect cure.

Waves of emotion,flow like the rising tide.

 

Her eyes now wide open,of what she must do.

This life she’d been living, now left behind.

A surge of devotion,to try something new!

She was no longer numb and no longer blind.

 

While holding her daughter,so precious and small.

A promise was made,true till the end of time.

"My heart I saved, now to you I give it all.

My life, my devotion,with my eyes wide open!"

 

 

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Emotional transition of the character from darkness to light and then the resolution to stand, for the sake of a young life. The poem relates it in very strong and profound words, a poetic metamorphosis that ends with perceived triumph over flaws. Great theme, impact and composition.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you for seeing exactly what my point of the poem was! Thank you!

[J. J. Nightingale]

The music is captivating .. And your words are well placed .. Altogether touching .. Well done !

Jasmine

[MoriartyMesa]

The images and music are not needed, everything stands on its own merit and flows with a wonderful ending. The theme, very passionate, not sure if anything was touched up before I read, but what I was given was very nice. Same effect of really really good scotch, inhales the fire and keeps it there.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you, and no at the time you read it, it had not been. It is however been revised since then as I am here to learn perfection.

[Emerald Seas]

Beautifully penned piece of poetry!

[Katrina Mckeown]

beautifully written )

[Mockingbird]

brings to mind a repentant prostitute who has changed her ways. her daughters are what had caused her to want to be a better person. nice poem.

[marytownsend]

Beautiful and touching poem that feels very real. Amazing sense of style, great writing!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you

[afra]

beautiful .....i am truly inspired by ur work

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you, I am humbled.

[afra]

=)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

;)

[ba_mcfarlane]

Exquisite. Perfect. Please don't change a word.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

You are so very kind

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have however rewritten the piece in order to strive for perfection. I hope this did not take from it, but bring smoothness to the readers’ lips that go unnoticed, but only entices the piece a bit more.

[Shauna Jacqueline Ander..]

This is very sweet, but I think it could it be shortened. I feel some parts are perhaps unnecessary and causes the overall piece to lose it's impact.
Thankyou for sending, I enjoy the read.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you so much for your review ;)
I will say however, most of the poems I write are rather short. This one is not meant to be, thus it will remain as such.
I hope this does not offend you, but perhaps you'll enjoy my other poems that are much shorter.

[Shauna Jacqueline Anderson]

No of course not. I'm slightly biased anyway because I do prefer shorter poems so I will read some of your others sometime. Take care.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you so much. I am one as well that prefers to read and write short poems. This is my first long poem and written completely different. I always say a good writer writes how they write well. A great writer will write however their heart compels.

[Shauna Jacqueline Anderson]

Definately with you there, bashed out a couple of epic poems in my early years of writing, but I don't really write a lot of poetry anymore. Love reading the stuff though...

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

;)

[Shauna Jacqueline Anderson]

What? Really?

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have revised this poem, though not shorter ;) it hopefully created a better flow. Thanks for you suggestions.

[quinfinn]

i found this touching and intense, you have definitely reached something here and to do that with words requires a gift, so...welcome to the world of creation ...continue to shine... bon chance

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you for your kind words.

[quinfinn]

oh, i can't help myself my dear...good writing is as a magnet, as a moth to the flame and i am accusing you of being capable, in fact...you may even be a sorceress, who knows?

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

;) I am humbled, my only wish in my poetry is to bring, healing, clarity, understanding to just how simple peace in this world could be found...within one’s self.

[quinfinn]

wish granted, is my guess

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

;) Your sweet