Eyes Wide Open

A story of a prostitute who found love

 

 

Entrapped with this life,she’d created.

Accepting, fate had her pinned as doomed.

Dreams once dreamed, eternally faded.

Her heart protected, tightly cocooned.

 

On love, devoted her every desire.

Her love freely given,never returned.

Her eyes now sealed shut,by soul’s hot fire.

Unseen fate, will soon have the tables turned.

 

Passion for money,with a very stiff price.

Taunted by daylightand trapped by the night.

Discontent, no pleasure by everything nice.

A proposition, she should’ve thought twice!

 

A change was, slowly growing within her.

A new life, cradling destiny inside.

As if pure fate, birthed the perfect cure.

Waves of emotion,flow like the rising tide.

 

Her eyes now wide open,of what she must do.

This life she’d been living, now left behind.

A surge of devotion,to try something new!

She was no longer numb and no longer blind.

 

While holding her daughter,so precious and small.

A promise was made,true till the end of time.

"My heart I saved, now to you I give it all.

My life, my devotion,with my eyes wide open!"

 

 

Reviews

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

Emotional transition of the character from darkness to light and then the resolution to stand, for the sake of a young life. The poem relates it in very strong and profound words, a poetic metamorphosis that ends with perceived triumph over flaws. Great theme, impact and composition.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you for seeing exactly what my point of the poem was! Thank you!

[Tweezy]

this is a classic poem; about her eyes being wild open. I enjoyed it a lot. Good thoughts. well done

[Pax]

beautiful write my friend.

[Amila Jay]

Wow. A very interesting write and beautiful. .. Excellent :))

[A. Mourraven]

Wow, is all I can say...well, not really. I always have a mouthful to say! Okay, I find it difficult to review or even critique the writing of someone like yourself. You are levels above me. I will try my best and be impartial. I know that you probably don't just want to hear, "This was amazing", or "Wow". I will attempt to give the best review I possibly can (as I do for everyone, an unbiased opinion).

I can feel the struggle within this poem. I love how you are able to tell a complete story, with a beginning, middle, and end. I feel that there should be some commas within this piece of literature. I understand that not all poetry needs punctuation or grammar but I find that it would guide the reader through the poem easier if their was to be a comma to seperate a thought. That is just my opinion, I may be a lazy reader (maybe?) but I thought it may help the flow.

My review strayed from my purpose but I probably rambled on about something you may not even consider but, I thought I would just state my opinion. This piece was wonderful, I absolutely love it and I can't wait to read more like it. Thank you for sharing...

See what I mean about speaking a mouthful. I ramble.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I truly am no further than you in poetry writing, but thank you for thinking so...I think :) I will work on punctuation throughout the poem as per requested. I always want it to flow for everyone as if it does not it loses its touch.

[A. Mourraven]

It was supposed to be a compliment :) That is just my opinion but, thank you for taking the advise and your time to read my lengthy review :)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I just tried to edit it. Let me know if that helped, as punctuations and I are not friends...smile.

[A. Mourraven]

Wonderful, it breaks it up so the reader is able to digest it better! I know your pain...I'm either adding too many commas or not enough!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you again for your helpful review.

[A. Mourraven]

You are welcome.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

;)

[CHRIS ANDES]

a very compatible picture with the poem you write
this is of great emotions about life and love
=]

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you!

[Legolas]

Great poem. I can really relate to the first two stanzas. Sorry im not saying more. Im really depressed, tired and have a headche

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you for taking the time to read any read request including mine. Very kind of you!

[Legolas]

Your very welcome

[Tate Morgan]

Interesting piece well done took a lot of work .Give me a buzz we ll talk about it

[Trixolomanea]

A beautiful piece that doesn't leave you untouched. By the end I really felt the love and the devotion for her daughter.

Keep up the good work! :)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you, and I will. You are very kind.

[BLBrown]

Very well written poem and highly descriptive. This is a journey and very well done.