Sole's

 

Souls

Rummaging through all of her things,

overwhelming ‘til my heart stings.

Finding her favorite pair of shoes

None other would she ever use.

 

The leather worn to a soft suede,

The color, like her life did fade.

The sole worn, the heal replaced,

each adventure, together  faced.

 

My finger runs against the stain

of blood when she fell in such pain.

the stain blended with the brown hue,

edges lightened by morning dew.

 

Worn to every doctor visit,

until her feet too swollen to fit.

The buckles had scratches across,

from sitting crisscross-applesauce.

 

Toes worn bare, from climbing the trees

and playing in the dirt on knees.

I cry when I see the size three,

size four, she never got to be.

 

My hands caress the soft leather,

soon again, they’ll be together.

Lacing together through earths holes,

all that will remain is both souls.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Raven Starhawk]

O_O I had to read this over a few times since my brain is about dead. First of all it is so...enchanting I guess is the word I am searching for, but there is more here. I found many lines to be so marvelously spun and I had to stop to ponder them for a while. It flows so well too. And you really deserve a better review than this, but forgive me. ^^* I am having a senile moment. All in all I loved this.

[.]

Beautiful poem x. I love sentimental memory's from old objects, good write x :O)

[devon]

I really, really adore this. I don't think I have ever read a poem about shoes that creates such a feeling of nostalgia and sentiment as this one does. :)

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

Love the uniqueness of this poem...
awesome xD

[.]

What a great poem to tell your shoes it's great! Well done!

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

It is a worthy sentiment to capture, to communicate. It was hard for me to interpret on just the first reading; but, perhaps that was intended.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have re-written it, let me know if it helped.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

Almost there... what about this line (and/or perhaps in conjunction with the preceding one): "of blood when she feel in such pain." Is this grammar intentional or just an oversight?

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

in conjunctio with, thus the reason there is no period or comma just followed with the the next word.

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

OK, but my comment wasn't about punctuation - I was thinking about the use of the word 'feel' rather than perhaps 'feels' ... just wondering. It just seemed to read awkward; unless it's supposed to be a colloquialism or something like that?

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

lol, see my brain is a mess right now, and to write is a challange right now. My brain couldn't see what you were talking about for the longest time, now I see. It was ment to be fell not feel. It should make sence now. Thank you for your patience. I am forcing myself to write in order to keep my brain active. End result...confusion...lol

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T. Serrat]

No problem, I have that trouble myself - more than I care to admit. :)

[Dr. Wood ?]

a good poem it happens to us all as we age...The passing of loved ones...This was very nicely told...I have to say though..that Suede....is not spelled...swede

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have corrected it, as well as changed it a little.

[Dr. Wood ?]

glad to be of help

[ShadowFaux]

it is 'til not 'till, that line does not make much sense anyway, until your hear strings what? Other wise a very sad poem..

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have changed it, please let me know it it makes more sence.

[gombeggar]

u like shoes, eh? nice work...little confusing with the pronouns if that concerns ya

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have re-written it, let me know if it is less confusing.

[gombeggar]

still a good work...but u should decide if u wanna be in the 1st person or the 3rd...and there's some typos in the 3rd stanza

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I am writing in first person? what typos?

[gombeggar]

ahh...reads much better now and i can see the 1st person and understand it better...perhaps i was tired when reading it last

[spiritwind]

I like the image you painted of those shoes and I feel the pain of holding them... mere objects.... that stay when she is gone.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I have re-written it, let me know what you think. Many were confused by my word choices. Thank you for your time and review.

[spiritwind]

I read it and whatever you did was perfect because the emotion is so perfectly transmitted. You write so well, it is an honor to be asked to come back and review a change. [Longer review above. ]