RAW

Raw

Eluded, our mind’s become, while we lick our wounds of past regrets, replaying painful scenes of misery over and over again, until we successfully relive it, one more time, finding a sick sense of comfort in it. Comfort in a false illusion that we are, what they made us, because of their cruelty and unthinkable ways, we are trapped inside what we are today, unable to break free from wounds that are unable to heal, wounds fresh and raw still. Raw from our constant unthinkable act of tearing back the new flesh trying so hard to rebuild upon a constant oozing wound made fresh again, over and over again, by no other than oneself, trapped in an eluded thought, wounded, raw unable to heal! Raw by choice, raw by our twisted ways!

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Manda]

This piece was very emotional and that is obvious in it's vocabulary. But I feel the subject of the poetry does not necessitate run-on sentences. It feels like it needs audible breaks that are not conveyed well with the punctuation. Try splitting up these sentences into lines, making it easier to read and still maintaining that strong sense of emotion.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

first attempt at a prose. I will work on it. Thank you;)

[JourneyBlu]

ahhh, how we dwell and ruminate! Beautiful write of the human affliction. could totally relate...thanks for the great read!

[spiritwind]

we like to lick our wounds, don't we? unlike a dog, we don't lick to heal but often to just wallow in self-pity... good observations in this piece!

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a strong prose poem, the kind of style I like, and well worked through, concentrated on a central image, good one

[Allie]

This has so much truth to it, especially the "Raw by choice, raw by our twisted ways!". (Twisted is spelled wrong by the way, it's missing a t.) I am not much of a religious person but I do believe in forgiveness and once someone can forgive the unthinkable acts that another person does to us then it is easier to let go and heal.

[Mary]

Well written! Raw by choice- such a painful choice we humans tend to make over and over again, when there are other choices on the table. Choices of forgiveness, healing, hope. Your poem is excellent- especially the first line.

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

I am one of those people who subscribe to the notion that we spend all our lives trying to decipher all what happened to us before we were 12....make sense of it, try and connect to the world...
love this outstanding poem :)

[Stanley Wilson]

thought provoking emotive and a bit dark loved it

[caroline]

I like the overwhelming feeling of emotion that comes from this. It really feels like an angry cloying emotion. very good

[Poe Redd]

thought-provoking, beautifully dark

[A Soap Mess Stories]

Love how you used "raw" to describe this...good write...