RAW

Raw

Eluded, our mind’s become, while we lick our wounds of past regrets, replaying painful scenes of misery over and over again, until we successfully relive it, one more time, finding a sick sense of comfort in it. Comfort in a false illusion that we are, what they made us, because of their cruelty and unthinkable ways, we are trapped inside what we are today, unable to break free from wounds that are unable to heal, wounds fresh and raw still. Raw from our constant unthinkable act of tearing back the new flesh trying so hard to rebuild upon a constant oozing wound made fresh again, over and over again, by no other than oneself, trapped in an eluded thought, wounded, raw unable to heal! Raw by choice, raw by our twisted ways!

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Manda]

This piece was very emotional and that is obvious in it's vocabulary. But I feel the subject of the poetry does not necessitate run-on sentences. It feels like it needs audible breaks that are not conveyed well with the punctuation. Try splitting up these sentences into lines, making it easier to read and still maintaining that strong sense of emotion.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

first attempt at a prose. I will work on it. Thank you;)

[hopelessromantic]

deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

[Cole Hayley]

I love the uniqueness of this poem. Its beautiful. The raw feeling, the usage of the Raw overtones.

[Michael Soul]

may be its not twisted ways but the ways in what we find our wake up call!!!
i like your words

[SHEEMA HUQ]

hI this is so very deeply considered and nicely written but i feel that your chosen sturcture, undermines it's power and meaning somewhat which is a shame

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

so you don't like it as a prose?

[SHEEMA HUQ]

i just felt that the structure doesn't do justice to the brillant content, cheers

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I will relook at it;)

[Art Sun]

nice work Kimberly...an emotion filled work that expresses well our interioe fear to break free...nice

[Junert]

Nice work.

[stars are far]

that was a deep thinking ,,,
well done ,,,

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Thankfully we can heal and break the vicious cycle, unless we live the remainder of our life unaware. Excellent read and write.

[Rhea752]

Huh... that was purely amazing. truthful. blunt. ... wait for it... keep waiting... raw :P

[Jessica]

I really loved this poem because I found it relatable. It struck a nerve and that's what I believe writing should do. Amazing job!