Sweet misery indeed

This is not how I feel in any way, it is simply a poem

 

How sweet are the words that whisper to me?

Whispering kind words of my death,

they tell me how the pain will stop,

my spirit will rise as my body will rest.

 

I contemplate the thought of it,

sweet misery indeed.

This thought, it does not let up,

constantly speaks to me.

 

My body broken,

rotted to the core,

sickness invades me

'till I am no more.

 

 

Is this voice the Devil inside?

Yet, it is making sense to me.

 

Without any drastic measures,

I simply, with this voice agree.

 

This hospital bed,

I am captive too.

All dignity gone,

just one thing to do.

 

I close my eyes and I let go,

slip away from my pain.

Release the burdons of loved ones,

my sickness drove insane.

 

 

My spirit will rise as my body will rest,

they tell how the pain will stop.

Whispering kind words of death,

how sweet are the words that whisper to me!

Reviews

[lee von cleef]

Right in my ear, My work has let me watch. People thrive ,their minds thrive on ,they pick two out of three, and feel good, they earn a B and feel good,but in reality they probably just lost their money, the dopamine in their heads makes them " feel" a positive interpretation , usually a financially , spiritual, moral ,blemish a hidden negative result, grows and grows. Dopamine "Feels" good,great....and me I feel guilty.

[Loner]

Great emotions presented in a beautiful manner
when one wishes to die being so ill /depressed.......

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Melody,
I am not one for platitudes; either giving or receiving of. For someone not feeling in a sucidal state you have captured many of the emotions very well. Especially the nagging self doubt and these are often interpreted, in psychotic depression especially, as external voices. The poem does seem to strain a little in its middle part and feels like it loses its way a little. There may be a certain amount of tense confusion that is unintended for poetic value, for example 'sickness invaded me' seems to be out of step and may have flowed better as 'sickness invades me' Just suggestions which I hope you find helpful.

[spiritwind]

I was surprised at the acumen of thie review. I thought that I must say Good job to the reviewer. Then I look and it is John! So of course it is a wise review! We all look forward to hearing what you have to say, John, for we can learn volumes by heeding your comments. .

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Oops....am I that bad!?

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you, I will make the change. I think your suggestion makes for a better write.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Thank you Melody. Respect!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Suicide and death are very far from how I feel; I work in the hospital and see patients every day. Their family wants them to live and the pain and sickness has taken over. Death is very much an acceptable part of life. Letting go is not wrong. It is a much a part of life as birth. I embrace every facet of life with understanding. I am part of the "no one dies alone" program at my job. I see many die and I truly understand. Letting go and suicide are too very different things, thus why I mentioned no drastic measures in this write.

[Icarus]

A poem is best when it is unaltered. This poem came from you and I'm surprised someone would try to change it in any way, shape or form. Art, soul, and spirit are interpreted by us and put on a page. To me its not to be trifled with by someone else. It is beautiful just as it is. The sun would not be more beautiful a little more orange, nor the mountains more majestic a little taller. It is only my opinion but when your spirit speaks and you write it down, let it be whatever it is. How could it be any more perfect. Another dot, or comma will not change its essence. Sometimes I think writers block is created by wanting to change or not listening to what our inner most spirit is whispering. As for the pain in the write, I can relate to it. There is something freeing about thoughts like that. We all have them, it is what people do with those thoughts that perhaps matters. Perfect write Melody. Ever reader interprets what you write differently, I would not change a thing.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

You are so kind, I am one that doesn't change because, someone tells me, yet change is a part of growing. If someone looks at my work and I see how they look at it and I understand what they mean I will engage their words of wisdom. This site is for us to freely express our writings. No one should change because they are told! I read each review and decide for myself, this time I agree with his words and shall embrace the change for a better write. I do love your attitude and truly agree! Just this time I love his suggestions and he gave them with respect to me.

[Icarus]

Melody, :) point taken. Also I did not mean any disrespect to you or any reviewer. It was only an appreciation of the true essence of your write.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I know what you ment;) relax, no worries, I am sure both I as well as John understand. Many poems I will never alter, this one I will for a few reasons. You ment only the best...we know that;) I have said the same as you to many reviews on here as I agree as to your way of thinking;)

[Patricia B. Hepler]

'...My body broken
Rotted to the core...'

'...My sprit will rise as my body will rest
....How sweet are the words that whisper to me!'

Whatever unknown trauma she has endured, she has such a negative view of herself that she began believing the "sweet" yet negative voice w/in her mind. Again she states, '... spirit will rise as my body will rest..'

While spiraling down into submission, she begans to embrace the devil's thoughts.

You chose a very relevant topic and created a window into a soul who is in the depths of despair. Well written. ~pat

[afra]

such a beautiful write ...i love it ....well done

[John Phoenix Hutchinson..]

What a hard poem to review as so emotive is the subject. To say I enjoyed reading this would be wrong but it is a great poem none the less,make no mistake. It had a powerful effect in making me feel thankful for what I have and that my "troubles" are miniscule to some.Its a great leveller, a bringer back to earth this piece. My love to you John.

[Zeph]

Very nice :)