Slipping

Most of my poems are uplifting, I am a real person with real pain, and sometimes it helps to write about it. My mind is slipping and until I see a specialist it will slip farther and farther away.

 

My mind is slipping away from me

Thoughts long known seem foreign now

Memories both a blessing and curse

Yet they all are drifting away somehow

I fight the thought, and then it’s gone

Did I eat today? Yes, or am I wrong?

School, work, eat, sleep, stop

what I've done is escaping me!

Intelligent? Yes, I am for sure.

Yet, I can’t remember what I know

simple things get me frustrated

I can't remember the simple things!

Do my children look at me different?

Taking advantage, because I forget.

"But you said yes, yesterday mom"

Did I, would I, I can’t say...

It’s all just slipping away.

Mind as frail as this body I wear

My soul and spirit still full of life!

How painful it is to admit it

To say I just don't get it!

Well, even if I did, I would forget it!

Many things ail this mind of mine

Health, pain, scars of time.

Don’t be sad for me, its ok

I'll forget how I feel right now...anyway.

This pain ails me from deep inside

It’s something I can no longer hide

I’ll still write the songs of my soul

Maybe someday again I’ll be whole

 

 

Author's Note

This has no set rhyme or reason to it, on purpose. It is how I feel right now...I’m kind of all jumbled up.

Reviews

[Fréyjä Helv..]

The rhyming didn't matter. The sincerity of it just captures the reader. It's a beautiful poem by the way. Time devours us every day we live. Don't spend the rest of your life depressed and caught up with the past. That won't give you a healthy future. God bless...

[J.L Hunter]

We all know how this feels. The monotony of life seems to grow entangled within itself and after a while you no longer know who you are, what you are, and more importantly, why you are. Trust me, the darker, more sad stories tell what is truly inside of us, what is ultimately within our deepest souls. Thank you for this, not too often does a poem actually strike me as good. Most of it is... bleh... but when you decide to do something different, I mean, drastically different so as to stray away from what you are normally used to. It is a good thing, really.

[eatmills]

This free-flow really touched me. Reflective yes; but I forgot what I was going to say...

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

LOL...nice one! smile;)

[That1Nerd23]

This poem is such a beautiful tragedy. I say that because you allowed such dreadful circumstances be turned into a positive outcome.

Beauty from pain.

*Perhaps you should try meditating, it may help you. (:

Again, excellent poem!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

meditation is a daily thing for me. It is what keeps me always calm and positive no matter what.

[That1Nerd23]

That's great! (:

[Reeti]

i'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you're going through, Kimberly. There is a rich meaning in your verse. Having one own's memory receding is something truly aggrieving. The reader can sense the disorientation felt by the narrator clearly.

"Mind as frail as this body I wear, My soul and spirit still full of life!"- This line really has awestruck me. For an aged man or woman with Alzheimer's disease, it is natural to face the ordeal. But, when a person of good health face similar issues, it is woeful.

I hope some positive changes have occurred in your life. Take care. It is always good to purge through poetry. It keeps the mind creatively active. As they say, "an idle mind is a devil's workshop"

[Allie]

I can relate to this so much. This seems to be a very personal poem that opens a door to your mind and thoughts. I am also very forgetful and I try to engrave things in my mind but that doesn't work. I constantly write stuff down, journal, make lists to try to keep my thoughts straight.

[J.V. Stanley]

Wow...sounds like Mommy brain to me and its an ailment that I also suffer from myself. When you get so stressed out, ESPECIALLY being a mom it kinda gets to you. Mortgage payments, electric bills, debt, obligations to friends, family, loved ones, work, responsibilities, make everyone happy and sacrifice sleep for perfection. Its that blasted ruin known as stress that initiates a downpour of forgetfulness when your brain is running 80 miles a minute as you remember everything at once and as you complete our mental checklist something is accidentally erased from the list and you end up doing a violent facepalm out the door when you realized the tiniest things forgotten. I get so busy myself that I often forget to eat, I go and go and go until I collapse into a semi-coma then get up and keep going. The only sanity saver I have is writing and keeping lists of things that need to be done otherwise I'd be a chaotic mess. I even need to learn to take a step back and slow down.

I love the ending in this poem:

"I'll forget how I feel right now...anyway.
This pain ails me from deep inside
It’s something I can no longer hide
I’ll still write the songs of my soul
Maybe someday again I’ll be whole"

ain't that the truth? Its agonizing being forgetful and my daughter does the overly exaggerated eyeroll at me when she has to remind me of something for the zillionth time, and its always the little things. There are things that stick out in my mind that I can recall every minute detail down to the sounds, tastes, smells, and exactly how I was feeling at that moment. Then there are times when I forget my car keys in a mad rush or I forget a date, appointment, important things that should be remembered but they didn't leave enough of an imprint upon my mind for the fact or memory to permanently ingrain itself into my grey matter.

Keep on writing my dear because this really hit me (in a good way) and perhaps within your writing you will be whole :D Muy Buena!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Thank you. ;)

[marytownsend]

I love the free flow of thoughts and emotions here, it's very powerful and painful at the same time. Beautifully written!

[bob, small b. aka invs]

it is disconcerting, to say the least, when you feel things slipping away. words that sit on the tip of your tongue that refuse to materialize. a forgotten name. scattered thinking. lack of focus. so many things effect us in strange, scary ways sometimes. i identified with this. at least i can blame things on 'senior' moments.

[JourneyBlu]

Wow! Powerful expression of feeling in verse that flows so well. I was right there with you throughout the piece and relating to your feeling that you captured so well. Awesome work! Also...I love the images you choose for your work, it ties in so well!

[cynthiabuhainbaello]

The writing has an intensity in it, a flowing undefined rhythm of life. Its staccato ups and downs and its relevance touches the reader because most of us go through phases like these. I like free-style poetry written in heart sensitivity and honest words - they reveal our humanity.