The First Memory I Ever Had.

I do not speak of this to make you feel bad for me, my words are ment to make you think of the little ones that need set free.

My first memory was at a young age,

it was the tender age of two.

My step father was in a drunken rage,

my mother’s body he then threw.

 

Her body slid across the trailer floor,

her head hit the cast iron stand

of the Singer sewing machine by the door,

glasses flew as her head did land.

 

Everything seemed to happen so fast,

the home filled with strangers to me,

neighbors pulled me from my mothers grasp,

alone, like a ghost they don't see.

 

I never did see my mother awake,

I couldn't beleive she had died!

This was all too much for my heart to take.

In a strange bed that night I cried.

 

Two days had come and went, my mind a blur.

Yet, no one came to comfort me.

Through the curtains an image, my eyes unsure...

...my mother, but, how could this be!?

 

 

           I learned he'd knocked my mother out that day,

 they thought I would not understand.

By time I learned, too much time slipped away,

 

the damage would be deep and grand.

 

No sting of death within me will you find,

as if that part died that day.

Never underestimate the child’s mind,

never forget to stop and say,

 

"do you understand what happen today?"

Silence can’t make it go away!

I could see everything they saw that day,

up until they took her away.

 

By the time my mom held me oh so tight,

I’d digested that she was gone.

I have lived inside my mind sence that night,

I am stronger now, but it was wrong!

 

~Melody

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Fréyjä Helv..]

A real tragedy it is, and at such a young age could cause a traumatic impulse to a child who's mind may not be strong enough to accept an incident as intense as this... I get what you're trying to convey. Though a young child's memories could be blurred at some moments, they still get flashes of visions... Children understand no matter how young, they can sense sadness, fear and anger. It's an instinct I guess.

[TL Boehm]

I struggled with this only because of my own childhood, which was "problematic" and I suppose there are those things I still have not reconciled. I do believe that one can transcend and certainly an angelic assist would be just that but mine never came. The poem is wonderful in its lift and transparency - kudos to you - it takes courage to write about trauma - I wait for my own happy ending. Well penned.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Wow, what a deep heartbreak and situation. Really nice write, with imagery of the situation and actions as well as the emotion of it all. Young ones shouldn't go through this, no one should, and little kids need to have someone there for them. Thank you for sharing.

[marytownsend]

Such a true vision of how life used to be and sometimes still is, we think that children can't understand and are somehow devoid of feeling. Also that they don't remember painful things. As a child I often wished that someone would just talk to me. This poem stirred up memories and made me cry. Great writing, it touched my soul!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I am humbled!

[deepblue04]

wow, I feel sorry for the family. this is really tragic. Good job!

[J.V. Stanley]

This one made my heart ache. I've sustained my fair share of abusive relationships and have lived through some really twisted situations. I've survived myself but because I have lived through those things I have the memory of it and sometimes it can be quite haunting. I don't think anyone should underestimate the intelligence and cleverness of children. A lot of people have the misconception that children are 'too young to understand'. I knew what my mother was doing was wrong, because like Vittoria said in the featured review, it is instinct. Children learn right from wrong and each are a choice. Some children get so used to being abused that it becomes like second nature after a while...but once the ties are cut, they begin to open up their eyes to the reality that is...all it takes is people to be more open and honest to teach the child the difference, not hide the truth.

[Allie]

This makes me happy that I had the strength to leave my abusive boyfriend when my daughter was 4 months old. I realized that not only was I in danger, but my daughter was to. It was hard to leave and stay away but I am so thankful today that I had as much support as I did, otherwise I would still be there. I hate that this happened to you and if it makes you feel better I always talk to my daughter about her feelings and her understandings of situations. At least that is one child in the world that you have touched with this poem, through a mother. Thanks for sharing your experience to help open the eyes of parents that need a little push sometimes.

[Loner]

A great sad write ....... this poem directs to lots
of tragedies in ones life a heart felt poem indeed.

[L. Edward Neale]

Very brave of you to share this. I hope it helps the healing process. Time wounds all heels, but in time it heals all wounds.

[JourneyBlu]

Beautiful way to capture the feelings of confusion and terror that such a young child must experience in such a tragic event. This is a very powerful piece and so raw and honest. I especially loved the lines "neighbors pulled me from my mothers grasp, alone, like a ghost they don't see." Heart breaking. Thanks for sharing!

[Patricia B. Hepler]

Melody, this one strikes a personal chord within my soul as I, too, witnessed violence at such a young age......

People simply didn't realize the person of a 2 yr old; the receptive mind of a young child can understand the very basic concepts....

This writing style and topic is exceptional~ pat