The UnOriginals

This is a poem, a tribute of sorts to all the followers out there.

They're tailgating my every move,

a serpent after prey.

I smerk and listen to hear them,

only footsteps away.

 

They shadow me like mockery,

as if I am a God.

They truly have no real idea,

a mere seed under sod.

 

Maybe, I will purposely fall,

see them follow my lead?

I could create a fake religion,

design my own true creed!

 

Such foolishness, by crowd and fleet!

By choice they're blind and weak!

They never work to pay their way,

they speak with tongue in cheek.

 

STOP! and look at yourselves you fools,

following pre-pathed roads!

Make you own way, work night and day,

respect your burdened loads!

 

I am not a fool, nor shall you be,

nothing in life is free.

even secrets come with a price.

soon shown to all, you'll see.

 

~Melody

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Taylor Ann]

I loved this poem, especially the message. It seems today there aren't any 'origianl' ideas. Because so much has already been written, and we see where certain creations have taken people, but not always our own creations and where they can take us.
Each line was brilliant! I loved the entire piece. Simply beautiful.

[Poison Ivy]

wow! this is impressive! its something new that i have never seen from any other writer on here. it so real and the title suits in very well.

[Freedom's Child]

Revolution! I love it, great write. Excellent imagery and harsh emotion with a call to action. My only complaint is the font, it hurt my eyes (yeah that's pathetic I know).

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I will change it, no worries;)

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

Hope that helped...let me know.

[Loner]

Loved the last stanza .... great job...

[Junert]

There were some errors and words that I couldn't place whether they were wrongly spelt or new words to me. Like smerck and mear and croud.

[J. F. Charleston]

It's really great! A couple of grammer problems caught my eye. It really brings reality to light. I like it alot!

[Anubis]

This is really good, reads well and you've got some great rhymes in there. It'd make a really good song!

[ba_mcfarlane]

Why do I have the feeling that some bureaucratic type with a Webster's fetish, has lately taken a rude stance with you concerning grammatical purity.
News Flash! To write well, you first must learn all the rules, then start breaking as many as you can. It's called creativity.
This skilfully skewers whatever small mind has crawled out from under their (sic) pretentious little opinionated rock. Some of the words actually look better with the "Melody" alternate spelling.
Bravo, and keep breaking the rules!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

lol...you rock!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I changed some of the spelling as to allow a better flow to all that get tripped up on it. Some words are left the way they are left, because that's how I want it. I honestly have a spelling level of a fourth grader and after three years in college, my brain still makes it the way it is. I love my brain! As wonderfully, goofy, defined and off track it is...it's incredibly original and wouldn't trade it for the world! I have to spell check every comment, verse and message I put on here...sometimes I don't want too and that’s all I have to say about that. ;)

[ba_mcfarlane]

Let the words flow just the way you want them to, darlin...if some don't like it, their loss not yours. Others who write real, they know what you are about.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

you are kind;) thank you;)

[ba_mcfarlane]

writers write; critics critique...me , I prefer to write.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I second that!

[Ruth]

Really enjoyed, perfect flow and imagery xoxo

[Ian H Morrison]

loved lovely melody rhymes really well you appear to have put a lot of time feeling and emotion into this excellent

[Linda Fernandes]

I really enjoyed this poem, full of feeling, I could feel the emotion. Great Job Melody!