The UnOriginals

This is a poem, a tribute of sorts to all the followers out there.

They're tailgating my every move,

a serpent after prey.

I smerk and listen to hear them,

only footsteps away.

 

They shadow me like mockery,

as if I am a God.

They truly have no real idea,

a mere seed under sod.

 

Maybe, I will purposely fall,

see them follow my lead?

I could create a fake religion,

design my own true creed!

 

Such foolishness, by crowd and fleet!

By choice they're blind and weak!

They never work to pay their way,

they speak with tongue in cheek.

 

STOP! and look at yourselves you fools,

following pre-pathed roads!

Make you own way, work night and day,

respect your burdened loads!

 

I am not a fool, nor shall you be,

nothing in life is free.

even secrets come with a price.

soon shown to all, you'll see.

 

~Melody

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Taylor Ann]

I loved this poem, especially the message. It seems today there aren't any 'origianl' ideas. Because so much has already been written, and we see where certain creations have taken people, but not always our own creations and where they can take us.
Each line was brilliant! I loved the entire piece. Simply beautiful.

[Pencrafter]

This strikes my funny-bone. Reminds me of a time when one of those followers was following me, blindly. Just for kicks I started going in circles to see how long he would follow. He actually went the circle a couple of times before activating his brain and realizing I was playing around. When I was younger, and mischievous, me and a friend would stand on a street corner looking up and pointing, waiting for people who would also stop and stare upwards. Always caught a few. Be forewarned--I am like that. Your poem is expressive.

[L. Edward Neale]

Sounds like a cult leader in the making planning a wake up call for some followers. He's not the messiah he's just a very naughty boy. Cool picture. Interesting perspective. I wonder what the big secret is?

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

I rly like this! its rly strong! and the message is clear at leat to me :-) I actually tink this might be my favorite of yours so far!

[Gothic Girl]

i love this poem! not like any other.

"I am not a fool, nor shall you be,
nothing in life is free.
even secrets come with a price.
soon shown to all, you'll see."

this stanza really wrapped up the whole poem beautifully. thanks for sharing! :)

[That_Girl]

This is brilliant and I love the message.

"Maybe, I will purposely fall,
see them follow my lead?
I could create a fake religion,
design my own true creed!" - perfect! Very well spoken!

[Adam M. Snow]

Amazing

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

I changed some of the spelling as to allow a better flow to all that get tripped up on it. Some words are left the way they are left, because that's how I want it. I honestly have a spelling level of a fourth grader and after three years in college, my brain still makes it the way it is. I love my brain! As wonderfully, goofy, defined and off track it is...it's incredibly original and wouldn't trade it for the world! I have to spell check every comment, verse and message I put on here...sometimes I don't want too and that’s all I have to say about that. ;)

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i removed my criticism of your spelling. thank you for the explanation and the corrections you made. i enjoyed the poem this time through and even learned a new word, red-neck or not.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I hope you never remove anything you say again. I love everything that everyone says on here and you in no way criticised me. I am never offended and love when others use their voice. thank you.

[lee von cleef]

you've been reading my mail, fun how equal that "collective conscious" river feeds people,
insightful...

[Cole Hayley]

Very diffrent from you, but I like it! Its alot like the stuff I write, subject matter wise. But I think you captured everythign here perfectly.

P.S in the third stanza you missed the "e" in "create"