Hollow - Space 2

Although, empty it feels inside my shielded heart

within it; cold, dark and hollow intermingled in vicious art;

Layer upon layer of darkness that never seems to end,

hollow that echoes sharply around every hidden bend,

 

frozen forever by the cold that harbours within my four rooms;

these dark, cold echoes of the past are but haunted tombs.

I hear you knocking from outside, echoing through the cold.

I cannot let you enter, I cannot let the dark, hollow unfold;

 

unleash devastating cold that unencumbered, no one can escape;

Your mind and heart, the all-consuming hollow will wretchedly reshape.

Only regret will find you, once you feel the hollow’s dark, cold embrace.

You cannot imagine, but the hungry hollow demands so much space.

March 2015

Author's Note

I welcome any constructive criticism

Reviews

[James O'Rourke]

I believe that this poem (along with a broken oil heater) gave me the chills!

Your word choice in this piece gave me the sense of an unforgiving and vast body of darkness and despair. I do love the last line "You cannot imagine, but the hungry hollow demands so much space." It seems so final and almost as if it is futile to fight against something like the hollow.

Even when this hollow sets up shop within, you don't want to unchain it and let others experience it. You've created quite the character (or perhaps this character has allowed you to create it through this piece.)

Thanks for sharing this with us! I look forward to more of your work. Till next time! - James

[Mayank]

There is this cold space, and from first poem to this I feel that space has expanded. Bringing some more shallowness. I loved the line 'Only regret will find you, once you feel the hollow’s dark, cold embrace.' There is so much to ponder.

[Mai L Nissen]

Yes, cold, hollow lives and spaces are emphasized more so in this one. Here no one will be able to ignore the emptiness and cold despite whatever effort! Thank you for taking the time :)

[Lyingwithlions]

Excellent write!

Just wow...

"these dark, cold echoes of the past are but haunted tombs.
I hear you knocking from outside, echoing through the cold.
I cannot let you enter, I cannot let the dark, hollow unfold;"

Thank you for sharing. :)

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you for your kind words! Glad that you liked it :)

[Jamestown]

Nice follow up to space 1
Again I can totally identify with the message:)
Your wording is fantastic and message so clear,
Thanks again and b-blessed!

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you, JT! I appreciate you taking the time to read and your kind words :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I agree dear Poet.
"Only regret will find you, once you feel the hollow’s dark, cold embrace.
You cannot imagine, but the hungry hollow demands so much space."
Easy place to find above. Hard place to escape.Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you, Coyote! I appreciate your time :)

[Coyote Poetry]

My pleasure and you are welcome.