Soft, Crystal Kisses

When the world is so beautiful that everything else fades away

The fresh breath of cold

hits my face;

my feet almost numb;

my hands pale-white and stiff;

- So cold, I shouldn't feel a thing.

White, crystal kisses

Lightly touches my face.

gently linger upon my lips.

 

Snowflakes dancing in the air,

playfully moving about;

Sweeping across

the white- pillowed landscape;

Invite me to join in their dance.

Sweet, white kisses

Meet me in warm embrace.

 

I stand still in the quiet of night;

For a moment intently I listen.

- No human being or sound in sight,

Only I am witness

to the life of this winter night.

Cool, crystal kisses

meet my lips in delight.

Covered by soft, crystal kisses

my footsteps are hidden,

leaving no trace of mine.

 

Soft, cool kisses

lovingly shower my face.

Sweet, white kisses

gently touch my lips.

Embraced by this cold infatuation

my insignificance is felt.

Yet for a moment

covered in soft, cool kisses

I feel alive and loved;

Surrounded by cool, sweet kisses

I am never completely alone;

Dancing beneath soft, crystal kisses

I feel alive, almost beautiful.

 

Mai L. Nissen, Winter of 2012

Author's Note

There is something wrong with it... Don't know exactly what...

Reviews

[J. K. Beach]

I am sitting here in Charlotte, North Carolina and the snow is falling in a soft but steady fury... I can see your words dancing through my minds windows. I said in a review of an earlier piece that you should try using non-coupled lines and you do it here well (I apologize for not looking at more of your work before making so blanket a statement). You think something is wrong with this one? All I sense is that you may have said the same thing a time or two too often, lessening the impact of the moments your are describing so beautifully. As Stephen King so aptly suggests... "Kill your darlings..." meaning keep only the best lines and make them sing. I don't always follow my own advice, but it is a good practice to try. Your words are so peaceful... It is still snowing here... and I love hearing them as the fall past my window.

[Mai L Nissen]

I am glad you liked it, despite it's flaws (not that I have ever written anything flawless)... I also appreciate your criticism, and I think you are right. I generally have trouble letting go of things, I like for whatever reason, when it is not adding anything - or even negatively contributes to a poem... Snow sounds lovely, here it is raining... Enjoy the snow :)

[J. K. Beach]

Thanks... it is beautiful, the snow I mean. I have never penned, nor am I likely to pen, anything flawless either, but it sure is fun trying!

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the amazing description in the poetry.
"Surrounded by cool, sweet kisses
I am never completely alone;
Dancing beneath soft, crystal kisses
I feel alive, almost beautiful."
You are a amazing writer. The above lines I liked a lot. You create good vision and place for me. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Mai L Nissen]

Thank you for your wonderful review - I am glad that you could engage with the words :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I did and you are welcome.