One Day it Will Kill Me

When I love, I love hard. I take being in a relationship seriously. I think that's what f***s me up the most. People don't take anything seriously anymore. Everything is a joke; a game. Throwing "I love you" out like it's nothing and letting someone go with the snap of a finger like they meant absolutely nothing to you. When they finally start moving on, you tug on their heart strings again; telling them you miss them and you love them more than anything in the world, but you don't. You could care less, but you can't stand the thought of them being happy with someone else. You don't want want to be with them, but you don't want anyone else to be either, so you play this game. You pull them along, filling their head with lies so they'll feel good, but not with someone else. You kiss them and wrap your arms around them.  You make them feel safe. But then you stop. You stop texting, hugging, kissing; everything. You don't come around anymore. The cycle continuously repeats itself and they keep going with it because they keep thinking you'll change, but you never will. You'll always be cold. You'll never care. Their feelings won't ever mean anything to you. No matter how many times they pour their heart out to you, you'll still be cruel. You'll still turn around and do it all over again without even giving a damn. This person begins to question themselves and spend nights crying their eyes out wondering why you don't love them. They hate themselves because of you. They won't let anyone in because they're scared to feel. They become numb to the pain. They paint a smile on their face so you won't know how they really feel. It kills them to see you walk around like they didn't mean s**t to you. Because of you, this person will never love anyone like they love you. You will always be in their head..until the thoughts finally kill them..