Broke and sad

1:

I am the dirt facing towards the sun

Praying for this day to be my last

I’m shunned away into the darkness not noticed by anyone

The air won’t last and it’s running thin

I just hope my death comes fast

I begin to cry

To try

To feel alive

But I am shy

I never strive

Never ending with paradise

I’ll just do it so I don’t have to ask twice

 

2:

My eyes close

The light grows

I am disposed

My pen ceases to flow

Never really cared

Lying on the hospital bed

You stare from a distance with disappointment because these feelings were never shared

You were well fed while I starved and burdened by lead

Why did I live?

What joke was played on me?

I wish to run back to my cove

There anything is a guarantee

 

3:

I load up the bowl and I see what you mean. Next couple of days I'm getting my mind blown away trying so hard to escape the sadness so much so that I begin to fiend and so much, so I'll never be weaned off these things. I replaced the sadness with drugs and now I can't feel any more alive. I begin to lose myself in this spiral of ecstasy and there's so much complexity to explain away my reasons, but I must thrust myself further away from the creeping sadness that is hiding behind the walls. The days turn into months as the pleasure fades away to dread and the stench of death. I scream realizing I must escape to avoid this terrible fate. So, I dig, and I claw harder than ever before. Finally, my head sticks above the ground as I pull myself up after what seemed like a journey lasting eternity. I take a deep breath and walk away feeling happy at last. Leaving behind the filthy past

 

4:

You melt my heart away as I saw you walking by. I knew it was destiny. But did you know how kind that smile of yours is. Oh, please be mine and I'm hungry for you love. We exchanged the same look in our eyes and without even a blink she said yes, and I knew it was love at first sight. Soon we lived together in a small house sharing what we could as we scraped by. But do you realize how all this was too nice? Seemed too much like a dream but the feeling I had was shrugged off by the meaning she brought to me. Life went on forever in a perfect trance. There is nothing to care or worry just happiness to enjoy

 

5:

Oh, I feel that this love is just another bender and I can't be candor. Oh, how I love you that I begin to crack afraid that I will break the trance and you know I won't take the chance. Under the weight I itch for those old comforts of mine. But I try to keep things together, but I try not to break but I try is all I could do. You already know my sentence is due and we have nights where we fight, and we have nights where no one sleeps. It's falling apart too fast for me to comprehend. The demons of yesterday eat me alive as they come to reside. She knows there isn't hope but she still holds her end of the rope. Yet I don't even try because I see it begin to fall apart just like the love we had. Now at the cliff we stand seeing who'll be the first to fall. Funeral march please don't touch me I did this to myself. Funeral march for my life and to your love. Hand me a pretty flower to hold as I lower myself six feet under

 

6:

I'm searching for the middle of the song a song with no reason or rhyme and as I try to find the meaning between the lines the only thing I see is sadness and crimes what has the world done to fuel his pain and to dare twist his arm so far behind his back that it begins to crack under the weight of his own demise so much so he begins to despise his own purpose in life and with all the strife he screams into the darkness with no reply not even an echo, they told him so many times to turn on the light but he is too afraid of what hides behind the veil of darkness and so he resides to the grave and to the coffin made as he shaves away the days till the reaper comes to say his time is due and with speed he flew trying to escape the end that will come soon but even he knows the date is set and there is nothing he can do expect sit and wait so breathe while you can and let the song not end just yet

 

7:

You are my plight the reason for my pain. You pray that I end going down my way. But you don't understand through all my addictions and convictions there is no point to hold me to the candle flame. You don't understand I'm nothing without you and my drugs. I just can't seem to decide if I care about you more or if I should throw you out the door. You are no friend just a menace with an evil plan and I know you meant me harm and streak my cheeks with tears. So now go and free yourself of the nightmares. Don't look in my direction so I don't have to think of my affection. Deflection is what I will do. So goodbye is what I will say and fly away retreating into my cave

8:

Further down the rabbit hole with no tether to hold me back. I only begin to see my mistakes when I drown myself in uppers and downers and you aren't around to pull me away. My friends surround me to laugh in the throws of my ecstasy. I laugh with them, but the pain is there and holds me to the irony. Oh please don't let me go this way oh please I swear I’ll change and break the lock on my cage.  Yet he knows it's far too late to dig himself out of the mud. There he will remain no matter how hard he tries to escape. So further the consumption, further till he is submerged and no longer breaths and as his body decays he is merged with the dirt underneath. Yet hush he doesn't know for his head still shows and to him he will suffer forever more

End:

Pale and wretched his skin is burn by cigarettes

With all his regrets he wishes to forget

Picking at the scars oozing puss and sin

He pushes the needle in

His eyes roll back finally in harmony broken away from the monotony

Is he breathing? I think he’s searching, crawling towards what he’s fiending

Living isn’t what he’s thinking

Life spiraled into disorder

Into the grave he’s sinking

When death comes he won’t even stir