Dear U 25

Dear U.
I must be a trully strange person. A Disney classic started on the telly and I couldn't help myself and ponder about the makers. As their names scrolled by I wondered how many of them is alive. Such a odd think to think. That all of these people that created something that might have influenced many young minds should be gone. Mortality is such a strange and hard to grasp concept. And then the usual green monster pops up it's ugly head. I wish I had that. I wish I was part of something bigger. Something meaningful. But if I was, would I know? Would I know the moment I was doing it that it would actually mean something? But then on the other hand. I would still always have that. Even thou I might not appreciate it at the moment it happens I would still have the fact of doing it. Not nothing like now. And I am so tired of people saying that you can do anything if you only work hard enough. No, there is also chanse. Or just god dammed luck. To be in the right place at the right time. And how can you do your best and work your hardest, when you don't even know what that is? I never realised when I was a kid how depending we are on our surroundings to become who we are. How depending we still are on them as adults. Do you feel as if you are proud of something you have done? Or are you as lost as me?
Sweet dreams Dear U, forever in my heart.