Dear U 4

Dear U
I do wonder if you are happy. Maybe you are happy with someone else right now. The thought makes me both sad and happy. I of course want you to smile, but I want to be the one making you smile. I guess that is greedy of me. Clinging on to something like this, with no hope of ever changing. I am sorry. I didn't mean to be so hopeless. I am not a nice person, so maybe you would be better if you never see me. Everything isso stupid really. I can't even remeber a time when life was easy. Why is it always something that holds us back? I decide to change, but when time comes I hesitate. Even if I know I have to. I miss having someone to talk to. Someone that actually listens. I miss you my dearest friend. I know you would listen and tell me stories to calm me down. You would help me to collect strength to do what I have to. I wish I wasn't such a coward. Would you laugh at me if you knew? I don't think you are the kind of person that laughs at something like that thou. But you might get disappointed, and stop talking to me. I wouldn't blame you. I would never blame you.
Sweet dreams Dear U