General Jim and The Aliens

The Air Force attacked a ship in the sky .
Fearing the contents within .
But them martians inside were all drunk and laughed it off .
In the face of a puzzled U.N. .
So the U.N. sent out for our General Jim .
Who was a master of preordained war .
He was kicking and screaming " I'm retired you pigs ! "
As they dragged him through the conference room doors .
   They said " Jim , we need information our world is in danger this time . "
   Jim only replied " I do not care what dies just as long as they nuke my X-wife
   But I'll take YOUR task so my memory can last .
   If the earth is to be extended on time "

They quickly flew Jim to the mountain .
Where the ship was still hovering in air .
The leader inside yelled we've come in peace .
Jim just replied " I don't care " .
So they beamed Jim aboard their mother - ship .
And give him way too many drinks .
They began to discuss humanity .
Jim paused a moment to think .
   " Maybe I'm slipping from orbit , freedom is no more than a lie .
   I can't scrutinize and I can't sympathize with the new borns , the sick or , the dead .
   I am tired of playing space ranger but I'm glad you all gave me this ride .
   The world should be a huge smokin' crater because people all suck all the time . "

They took Jim back out to that mountain .
And yes , they did nuke his ex wife .
Jim was sorry to see his home world .
But at least he was feeling alive .
Jim gave the U.N. his perception .
Of what he observed on his ride .
Full of profanity and oral reports .
Still drunk on that martian made wine .
   He said " I ain't going to be your space ranger now I'm retired again .
   Do not mess with my rights or you will be vaporized by all them new martian friends .
   I think I will go and get sleep now , and now it's your a*s on the line .
   So bring me a bottle of tequila because first I'll go see my ex-wife .