Red eyes

Why are you tensed 

to see my red eyes

What are you thinking 

about our lovely ties 

Don't look at me 

see the skies 

also see the red colours 

when the sun rise 

Why are you tensed 

to see my red eyes

see the red flower 

no sign of cries 

look at the dawn

Is not your surprise 

day and night meet there

you can revise 

Reviews

[Marie]

Red eyes are usualy a sign of irritation or sleeplessness. This is a worry. But there are other red shings to see that aren't worries.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Lina Grey]

interesting. Red eyes are very unusual, but red itself is not. people should see the beauty of the world rather than shrinking away from the unusual. Nice use of the word 'tensed'. Good job :)

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

Better and better! Ambiguity is a poet's delight.. I see: Commander of the shadow puppets, the minions of night, "Beware the dawn where they fight." Of course it could just be about someone coming home, stumbling drunk, wearing too many ties. Love it! :)

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Inda]

Way to create tension and great imagery. Good Job!

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Tex]

this is well thought out and well translated (if English is a second language for you).

I really liked this and found the appeal to be positive and hopeful despite clear reasons (unexplained) for red eyes uplifting.

very much enjoyed the read.

100/100

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Baby Ricochet]

Zombies and vampires have red eyes. That'll make anyone edgy

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Eliott]

I really liked this poem, it was a lot easier to understand then some of your other ones. Nicely written :)

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Leslie Philibert]

Like the use of tensed, which could be understood as a verb from tension, or tense as in past tense, so a nice enigmatic touch there. Not too sure about ties though, which could be understood as clothing. I would also use rises instead of rise, or use sunrise. So a fine poem, that needs a few small changes to be even better.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[s y e]

Wonderful! ;) Great job!

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[InsanityWriter]

Nicely done. :)

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx