yesterday

yesterday it was full of moonlight 

yesterday she was with my side 

yesterday moonlight was lie down with me 

yesterday another was sleeping at my bedroom 

that was she 

yesterday i roused from sleep 

yesterday she was not at my room

seeing moonlights that weep 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful and sad poem. The poem told a complete story without needing a lot of words. Take talent to write a complete tale in so few words. I like the complete poem. A perfect ending to a outstanding poem.
Coyote

[chandlerl]

It doesn't quite flow right together.

[CecilA]

Dupor,

See how this interpretion sounds:

Yesterday was filled with moonlight
Yesterday moon was by my side

Yesterday moonlight lay beside me
Yesterday she was asleep in my bedroom

Yesterday I was roused from sleep
Yesterday moon was missing from my room
She was gone

Now seeing moonlight makes me weep

This is not a criticism. I realize how difficult it must be to translate your work into English. But keep up the good work; you will get the hang of it.

I enjoy your poetry and your sensitiviy to Moon and her relationship with you. I have a greater appreciation for Moon and her light.

[Tarry Franck]

Good job :)

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[DrD]

Lost love themes are always poignant and endearing. You did well with this one.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Amanda]

This was sad and sweet at the same time nice job

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Kenzi Griffin]

Really nice

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Tex]

I love the thought of this poem. There is a bit of a language translation problem that if fixed would make it easier for your readers to figure out and follow your meaning. we can see the the correct word in your second line is "by" instead of "with" and that in your second stanza line two, "in" is probably meant instead of "at" ("at" give the feeling of near possibly even just outside).

what none of us can be sure of but we can guess might be correct is that maybe in your last stanza instead of using "yesterday" you meant to use "today" in your first and second line.

your last line (which is lovely by the way) should read "seeing moonlight that weeps" don't even try to understand why English does this different than most other languages, it just does and is one of those dumb rules you have to remember when translating, no fixing it makes it really obvious that it originates from another language as this is a common mistake made by non-English speaking people.

I just love this poem, I can see what you were aiming at and love the way you constructed it.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Valentine]

AHA..it must have been raining..I knew you could not have a full moon all of the time..Getting more interesting though..Valentine

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Eliott]

I think your language barrier gives your writing more character. I really liked this poem, and I think that your English is improving. :)

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx