Moon

Everywhere where i am going
moon is also with me

I want to play at hide-and-seek
but don't

where ever i go
seen that
moon is laughing to see me

Moon is always at my side
seeing me
caring me
talking with me

i can not hide me from moon

Moon is as my mother
 

Reviews

[CecilA]

Dupur,

I really like your poem. It's intrigue and simile are refreshing.

One thing we have to do is work on the translation. English is a difficult language. If you don't mind, I'd like to intrepret your poem according to what I feel it says.

Everywhere I go
Moon is with me.
I try to play hide and seek
but she won't let me.

Wherever I go
Moon is happy to see me.
I can tell because
she's laughing at me.

Moon is always at my side:
she watches me;
she cares for me;
and she communes with me.

I cannot hide from Moon
and I don't want to
because Moon conforts me.
Moon is just like my mother.

See how this compares with your original written in your native tongue.

This is not criticism; merely a suggestion on how to translate your poem into a very difficult language.

I like the 'hide and seek' relationship you have with Moon. And I never thought of the moon as laughing but now that you brought it to my attention, I can't wait to see if she is going to laugh with me tonight.

I appreciate your sharing this poem with us and the opportunity to review it for you.

[Icelanna]

I agree with this! I love the personification of the moon itself!

[Tex]

yes this is a very constructive review... nicely said

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx all

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful description of the moon. The Native Americans called the moon "mother moon." I like the description and the ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[chandlerl]

Beautifully written and done. I loved your first stanza.
Keep writing, I'll keep reading. =)

[Tarry Franck]

Well done - Playing hide and seek - great one!

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Revolutionary]

you must write sun and black hole

[Dupur Mitra]

???????

[Revolutionary]

pretty and true

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[DrD]

Symbolism at its finest. A very enjoyable read.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Kenzi Griffin]

Nice poem but very hard to translate..

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[KAOlmsted]

Good piece. I like the last line a lot. Seems the full moon inspired many poets this month. Well done.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Lover Of Words]

very good!

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx

[Marie]

No, you can never hide from the moon.

[Dupur Mitra]

thnx for ur comment