slum tourism

many many telephone cables

over the slum dwellers

many many words are passing

over the slum dwellers

but nobody knows

or want to know

about them

Reviews

[Reeti]

The idea you have exposed and the concept you have applied here is striking. Words do pass 'over the slum dwellers', and none of us are eager to know their story. The harshness and brutality of life surrounds the slum, and they have much at stake since they live in dearth of social safety and security. when nothing can be possibly done about them all, it is pleasing for us to suppose that the less utilities they have, the less responsibilities they obtain which might give them some amount of relief. But, at the same time, it is not easy for them. Freedom does not normally come to them at will.

[Marissa Brazzell]

could you explain more of this to me?

[Anu Biswas]

This is very zen in its concept and thinking. Minimal words, maximum impact. Just a small change in grammar....noboy knows or wants to know.....keep writing!

[Baby Ricochet]

It's to big a story and it makes westerners feel guilty

[Tori Hughes]

fantastic. just fantastic. i dont know why i like it so much. something about it just... hit me, ya know? your poetry is so.... what's the word... exposing? something like that. i hope you get what im trying to say, because i dont think im doing a good job at expressing my thoughts.

[Fantasygirl46]

Love it! great poem

[Ees]

Love it!
Great poem.
Interesting concept. Very believable and real.
My only critique is that in the second to last line the word want should have an 's' on the end of it so that it will read:
or wants to know


great work!

[Lover Of Words]

very real

[J. J. Nightingale]

I must believe there is someone who cares .. I still hold faith in mankind ..

Touches the heart ..

Jazz

[Becca Bishop]

Wow. So few words, such a big meaning. I can feel the hopelessness of 'the slum dwellers'. So close to society and yet so far away. Beautiful write!!!

[KAOlmsted]

I like the idea that, through the telephone cables, there are an infinite number of words passing overhead, yet not one of them is spoken about the slum dwellers below...it's really quite a powerful write wrapped up in a deceptively simple package. Well done.

-kimmer